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Old April 16, 2013, 05:07 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: USA
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Native Language: American English
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SuperMan View Post
Hi there. Can you help me improve the following paragraphs please. I'm not sure if it makes sense. I am writing these paragraphs for this part-time class I'm taking in Spanish, but I'm not too good at it at the moment.

Question 1 asks 'What do you think of alcohol and cigarettes?'

1 - En mi opinión los cigarrillos y el alcohol son muy malas porque causan un grave daño al cuerpo. (missing an article here) cigarrillos también causan daño a todo el mundo que nos rodea por el tabaquismo pasivo. mis amigos y familiares están de acuerdo conmigo, ya que (need to reestablish the subject, or the idea, by using a pronoun here) puede conducir a (wrong verb) enfermedades graves. Mi padre fuma, que es muy malo(missing punctuation) por lo tanto, en el futuro, espero que yo pueda (when there's no change in subject use the infinitive) detenerlo.

Question 2 asks 'Do you drink or smoke? Why?'
2 - Yo no bebo alcohol ni fumar (conjugate) porque (yo) vivo una vida sana y activa y beber alcohol o fumar daña mi cuerpo. que puede dañar el hígado y los pulmones. en el futuro, tengo la intención de evitar que (need something else here) las personas que fuman porque el tabaquismo pasivo también es perjudicial.

Can you please correct my mistakes and give me any ideas on how to improve. Thank you very much
Welcome to the forums!

Since this is homework, I moved your post to the 'Practice & Homework' forum. We wouldn't want to do your homework for you.

I've corrected your English for the members who are learning English.
I've marked what needs fixed in your Spanish text and have given hints now and then to help you figure out what might be wrong. If you have questions, ask.
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