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The first is OK, but there's no need for the first comma. This is a direct command. There is no hint of politeness. You could add Dígale as the first word and not change the meaning.
The second sentence is more polite than the first. In it, you should avoid using the second person when addressing someone (unless you customarily treat that person that way). There should be two clauses:
¿Podría decirle (a él) que me llame, por favor? (Use a él as needed for clarity.)
¿Le podría decir (a él) que me llame, por favor?
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