Hi there! This looks a lot like homework, so I'll just point out a few place you should double-check, but without giving you the answers.
Check verb tense or conjugation in the following places:
>> por lo tanto quiero ir
>> y un hombre traté de robar mi cartera
>> Estoy ahorrado para el viaje
Check proper noun or adjective usage:
>> El primer día de la vacación
>> El verano próximo
>> abril próximo
These are just a few areas you should go over.
Other than that, good job and welcome to the forums! How long have you been studying Spanish?
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