I agree that babies learn a language slowly, but they aren't without logic. They logically connect how a word can be used (and sometimes their logic fails them and a correction to their "grammar rule" is made by a native speaker).
Adults can learn a language much more quickly, as you said. This is because we already have a good idea about how words work together.
I believe everybody who studies a foreign language learns more about the grammar of their mother tongue. I'm pretty certain that most don't care to learn all the grammar terms, like adjunct, adverb, aspect, mood, subjunctive, accusative, dative, etc., but all of us have a good idea about how the words of our language can be used. That is a knowledge of the grammar, after all is said and done.
I don't believe for a second that you can learn another language without applying grammar rules to it. It is, as you said, absolutely essential. Without applying the rules of grammar, you'd speak in nonsensical language.
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