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Help to improve my essays!Practica el inglés o el español aquÃ. Toda respuesta a un hilo debe ser en el mismo idioma que el primer mensaje. |
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#1
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Help to improve my essays!
I am planning to present TOELF test;however, my essays need a lot of corrections. Could you help me please?
I will appreciate all your suggestions! Here one of the topics I choose from the big list they have. Chancleta Publicity influences and creates necessities in people to buy specific products, brands, or colors. The best consumers are children, who are constantly pressuring their parents to purchase trendy gadgets. In the following essay, I will explain social an economic implications about this trend. First, children feel socially more accepted when they have new technology to show to their friends. For instance,new cellphones and ipads let them strength relations through social media such as Facebook, Twitter or Instagram. Every single activity is shared with their pairs in real time. As a result, they are more dependent to their friends' comments, and they have their own world in their devices. So, you can see a big group around a table but completely isolated and quiet. Second, children are pushing their parents to acquire expensive technology and accessories. It is a continuous circle because when you buy one version a modern one is coming. People line up in Apple stores to buy cutting -edge technology; as a result, children accept that behavior as a normal part of life. They will be the future consumers and they will pay millions of dollars to have what they want. In conclusion, publicity has a negative impact on children because it creates consumers who spend a lot of money to be accepted in society. |
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#2
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Cita:
DÃme si tienes preguntas sobre mis correcciónes o si necesitas un traducción de un corrección. Última edición por abrink fecha: April 03, 2013 a las 12:46 PM |
#3
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Hi Abrink
Thank you for your corrections they are very clear. Yes, Spanish is my first language. |
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