"Salir conmigo" vs. "ir a una cita"

[Ale Jano]

If I ask a girl "quieres salir conmigo", is it clear that what I mean is a date? Or would it be clearer to say "quieres ir a una cita conmigo"? Because it seems like it would be possible for friends to "salir" without it being a date.

In the specific situation, I've been hanging out with the girl before, though we're usually not alone. Also, she's from El Salvador, if that makes a difference.

[Cloudgazer]

Hi, Ale Jano, and welcome to the forums!

You've posed an interesting question. I hope someone here can help you answer this!

[Ale Jano]

Thank you!
I ended up using cita, but still had to explain what I meant haha. For the record, in German I would use the English word "date" and consider that obvious - but I'm not sure it would be obvious in English.

Alas, she didn't want to change the way things are.

[AngelicaDeAlquezar]

I think you didn't get a reply because there must be regional preferences on how to ask someone out, but I don't think anyone would say "ir a una cita" in the sense of having a romantic date. ;(

- Tengo una cita con Javier, ¿qué me pongo?
I have a date with Javier, what do I wear?

- Ayer tuve una cita con una chica que me gusta mucho.
Yesterday I had a date with a girl I like very much.


"Salir con alguien" can have the meaning of going out with someone, not necessarily on a date, but also to have a couple relationship.

- ¿Estás saliendo con Juan?
Are you dating Juan?

- He estado saliendo con una chica muy guapa.
I have been dating a very cute girl.

- Anoche salí con Lorenzo. Fuimos al cine.
Last night I went out with Lorenzo. We went to the movies.


On the other hand, I have no idea of how to ask someone for a date, so I don't think this is anything so explicit where I live.
I guess this mostly has to do with what you do during the date and how the other person responds.

Here, if you want to go out with someone, without their friends, we simply invite that person only.
__________________

[Manuel]

It's the same here in the Netherlands, Angelica! I think "going on a date" is typical of the English language.

Perhaps a bit off-topic, but I don't think asking a girl to "go on a date" with you is the best way to try to start a relationship, anyway! I think that comes off much too direct and a bit needy, if you ask me.

If you want to get closer to a girl, you can simply invite her to go DO something, why would you need to specify it as a "date"? Maybe that is even one of the reasons why you got a negative response, Ale Jano! At least it wouldn't surprise me in the least if that was part of the reason. Think about it: if you specify your invitation as a "date", it puts some kind of unspoken pressure on the whole thing. No need to label your invitation, just invite her for something and take it from there.

So I'm not surprised that Spanish doesn't have a way to ask someone on a date, since they are socially a lot more savvy that English-speaking people, in my opinion, no disrespect intended.

[Ale Jano]

Well, it depends on the girl. I've read articles where they complain that men don't ask them out on dates anymore, but just want to hang out and no one knows what it's about.

In this case, it didn't make a difference either way. We're still hanging out without labeling it.

[Manuel]

Originally Posted by Ale Jano

Well, it depends on the girl. I've read articles where they complain that men don't ask them out on dates anymore, but just want to hang out and no one knows what it's about.

Right, I understand that, but don't you find it interesting then that Spanish doesn't have a way to say "do you want to go on a date?"? If they've never developed a way to say that, perhaps that means you don't really NEED it? Because Spanish speaking people definitely hook up with each other romantically.

Just out of curiosity, how did you explain to her what you meant by "date" then?

[Ale Jano]

That *is* actually interesting. It's the same in German, but we used to call it by the French word rendezvous, and now we use the English word date. Though most girls assume that I'm interested in them, just because I invite them for drinks.

Since you're curious, she figured it out after a bit. Probably because she knew I translated it from German / English haha.

[AngelicaDeAlquezar]

Originally Posted by Ale Jano

I've read articles where they complain that men don't ask them out on dates anymore, but just want to hang out and no one knows what it's about.

That's interesting. It seems it's rather that they are perceiving a lack of interest or a lack of commitment when they are dating a boyfriend. If a girl has to ask "is this a date?" or "what are we?", it's rather a communication problem, more than a "do you want to go out with me?" problem.

Personally, I think Manuel has a point there. As I see things around me, someone who asks such direct questions or who has to make a statement about the nature of a relationship sounds rather clumsy and rough. It's rather the message conveyed through actions, body language and attention given to your partner than the words you say.

My


Of course cultural preferences change according to the country and the region anyway.