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ComposiciónPractice Spanish or English here. All replies to a thread should be in the same language as the first post. |
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#1
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Composición
For my Spanish class, I needed to write a composition about rules and ideas that I would change in my school. Below is what I came up with. Although I am far from a native speaker, I'm really trying to progress and make as few errors as I can possibly make. I'd immensely appreciate the revision of my composition (because I know that it is far from flawless). !Gracías!
Composición: En general, la escuela de DHS tiene buenas cosas y normas. Por ejemplo, todos los estudiantes (qué no tienen restricciones) tienen una libre período. También, algunos de las cosas son malo. Yo cambiaría la horario de lunes; la horario es terrible en general (porque todos los estudiantes y todos los profesores van a todos los clases). Yo pienso que los estudiantes y los profesores en potencia serían más productivosin el horario de lunes. En adición, cambiaría el tiempo de “homeroom” a ocho y medía (normalmente) porque ocho menos días es muy temprano y todo el mundo necesitan ocho horas de sueño. Yo cambiaría los uniformes de los chicos porque los largos pantalones en Abril y Mayo es muy incómodo por todos los chicos porque es muy calor; es importante ser cómodo. Cambiaría las reglas de los juegos (por la internet) en los edificios académicos porque es importante aprender ser responsable. En orden preparar por las universidades, es importante ser responsable y aprender administrar tú tiempo. Finalmente, cambiaría la tarea porque los estudiantes de DHS son muy ocupado por todo la semana (de escuela). Es importante por los estudiantes y los profesores relajarse. Con no mucho tarea, los estudiantes de DHS se relajarían más. Si podría cambio unas cosas de DHS, la horario, los uniformes, las reglas de internet, la tiempo de “homeroom”, y la tarea sería lo. En general, DHS es tiene buenas cosas y normas, pero unas cosas son mal. What I am trying to say: In general, DHS has good ideas and rules. For example, all of the students (that don't have restrictions) have a free period. Also, some of the ideas are bad. I would change the Monday schedule; the schedule is terrible in general (because the students and the professors have to go to all of their classes). I think that the students and the teachers would be more productive without the Monday Schedule. In addition, I would change the time of "homeroom" to 8:30 (normally) because 7:50 is really early and everyone needs eight hours of sleep. I would change the uniforms of the boys because long pants in April and May is very uncomfortable for all of the boys because it is very hot; it's important to be comfortable. I would change the rules (of the internet) in the academic buildings because it's important to learn to be responsible. In order to prepare for college, it's important to be responsible and to learn to manage your time. Finally, I would change the homework for the students of DHS because the students are very busy for the school week. It's important for the students and the professors to relax. Without a lot of homework, the students would relax more. If I could change some of the rules of DHS, the schedule, the uniforms, the rules of the internet, the time of homeroom, and the homework would be it. In general, DHS has good ideas and rules, but some of them are bad. Thank you. |
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#2
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Welcome to the forums!
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I tried to explain what needs fixed in green. Edit: I see that you posted your question elsewhere and a good revision was received. I was trying to steer you in the same direction, but didn't want to do your homework for you. A rewrite was in order, but I would have helped you to get there on your own. On that other site someone else did your homework (but not without errors) and you didn't learn a thing. Last edited by Rusty; April 15, 2012 at 11:28 PM. |
#3
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Thank you a lot for the help. Actually, that is untrue. I didn't just mindlessly copy down the answers - I genuinely tried to learn from my mistakes and I still didn't even replace everything that that person replaced. Thank you so much for your time as well; I will give and have certainly given your corrections a look. I'm not trying to have my homework done for me; I'm really trying to learn to become a better writer.
I really can't thank you enough for your extensive corrections - I really do appreciate it and I will definitely try to learn from my mistakes (example: días ---> diez). |
#4
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By the way, before answering your thread I had moved it to the 'Practice & Homework' forum. This is the forum for practicing and homework help. |
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