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Can you help me correct this script?

 

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  #1  
Old June 05, 2015, 11:21 PM
maryjohndoe maryjohndoe is offline
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Post Can you help me correct this script?

Hola me llamo Haley, voy a hacerlos encurtidos para los rollitos de venduras. Primero deba tener los pepinos, la cebolla jalapeño claro, y completamente lavarlas. No tenes las venduras sucio. Después añade no un poco, pero mucho la sal, minuciosamente las venduras. El agua necesita salirse para viente minutos y enjuaga. No saces las después de diez minutos. Dejalos aparte, hace la salmuera.(I'm just putting a bunch of things in a pot so i took it out). Luego, hiervala hasta en fuego lento, y apaga la estufa. Entonces, pon los pepinos en una olla, saca las de la salmuera hierva fuego lento nuevo. No deje los pepinos hierve para mucho tiempo. Sacalos rapidamente. Por fin, pon los en un envase y deja enfriar, y los encurtidos estan terminado.

I'm trying to explain how to make pickles haha. Thanks for helping cx
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  #2  
Old June 05, 2015, 11:46 PM
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AngelicaDeAlquezar AngelicaDeAlquezar is offline
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Good work.

You have mixed many conjugations. If you're using the imperative for "tú" in the first sentences, then you have to conjugate the same all through your text. (If you learnt "vos" or "usted", you also must stick to one person and conjugate accordingly.)

You may find useful this thread on the differences between "por" and "para.

Here are some hints and suggestions for improving your text.

Quote:
Hola me llamo Haley, voy a hacerlos (Is this a typo or are we missing your DO here?) encurtidos para los rollitos de venduras (Check your vocabulary). Primero deba (Check conjugation) tener los pepinos, la cebolla *** (Punctuation sign missing here) jalapeño claro, y completamente lavarlas (Check conjugation agreement). No tenes (Check conjugation) las venduras sucio (Check gender agreement). Después añade no un poco, pero mucho la sal (This is unclear, can you reword?), minuciosamente las venduras. El agua necesita salirse (This use of the verb "salir" is unclear, what do you mean?) para (You're saying that the purpose of your action is twenty minutes. That doesn't make sense; check your vocabulary) viente minutos y enjuaga. No saces (Check conjugation) las *** (Something is missing here) después de diez minutos. Dejalos (If you're not using Argentine conjugation, you need to insert a written accent here) aparte, hace (Check conjugation) la salmuera. (I'm just putting a bunch of things in a pot so i took it out). Luego, hiervala (Check conjugation) hasta (This preposition needs a destination, but there is none in your sentence; get rid of it) en fuego lento, y apaga la estufa. Entonces, pon los pepinos en una olla, saca las (You need to correct the gender agreement and the way it works with the verb) de la salmuera *** (Punctuation) hierva (Conjugation) *** (Preposition missing) fuego lento nuevo (We can't have a new fire; check your vocabulary). No deje (Conjugation) los pepinos hierve para mucho tiempo (Try rewording; check conjugation and the note about "para"). Sacalos (Check accents) rapidamente (Accent missing). Por fin (We prefer this expression to say that something happened "at last", as if we were relieved that something happened; try another way to say "finally"), pon los (OD must be in the same word with the verb) en un envase y deja enfriar, (avoid so many "y" or try a longer pause inserting a different punctuation) y los encurtidos estan (Accent) terminado (Gender agreement).
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  #3  
Old June 06, 2015, 01:27 AM
maryjohndoe maryjohndoe is offline
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Okay I finished fixing it. Thanks so much I'm a little bit confused on the accent marks on hiervala and sacalos though haha.

Hola me llamo Haley, voy a hacer los encurtidos para los rollitos de verduras. Primero debe tener los pepinos, la cebolla, jalapeño claro, y completamente lavarlos. No tengas las verduras sucias. Después añade mucho la sal, minuciosamente las venduras. El agua necesita sal por viente minutos y enjuaga. No saques las verduras después de diez minutos. Dejalos aparte, haz la salmuera.Luego, hiervalá en fuego lento, y apaga la estufa. Entonces, pon los pepinos en una olla, saca los de la salmuera hierva fuego lento de nuevo (I'm trying to say again). No dejes los pepinos hierve por mucho tiempo. Sacalós rápidamente. Finalmente, pon los encurtidos en un envase y deja enfriar. Los encurtidos están terminado.
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  #4  
Old June 06, 2015, 10:06 AM
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wrholt wrholt is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maryjohndoe View Post
Okay I finished fixing it. Thanks so much I'm a little bit confused on the accent marks on hiervala and sacalos though haha.

Hola me llamo Haley, voy a hacer los encurtidos para los rollitos de verduras. Primero debe tener los pepinos, la cebolla, jalapeño claro, y completamente lavarlos. No tengas las verduras sucias. Después añade mucho la sal, minuciosamente las venduras. El agua necesita sal por viente minutos y enjuaga. No saques las verduras después de diez minutos. Dejalos aparte, haz la salmuera.Luego, hiervalá en fuego lento, y apaga la estufa. Entonces, pon los pepinos en una olla, saca los de la salmuera hierva fuego lento de nuevo (I'm trying to say again). No dejes los pepinos hierve por mucho tiempo. Sacalós rápidamente. Finalmente, pon los encurtidos en un envase y deja enfriar. Los encurtidos están terminado.
I'm responding only to your uncertainty about hiervala and sacalos in light of AdA's comments about imperatives for (and for vos if you have learned about it). Knowing how to add or drop written accents in 2nd-person positive imperatives can seem challenging.

Both of these words look like 2nd-person singular positive imperatives with an object pronoun as a suffix. But the way you've written sacalos is how one writes it for the 2nd person singular pronoun vos (an alternative 2nd person singular pronoun with distinct verb forms that is commonly used in certain regions of Latin America), while hiervala looks like a mis-written 3rd-person positive imperative (directed to usted). However, elsewhere in your recipe you use positive imperatives that are specific to the pronoun . This is stylistically confusing. In a recipe you should address the reader consistently: pick one of , vos (if your target audience is from an appropriate region) or usted and use it consistently.

Let's look at sacalos first. It appears that you want to use a positive imperative of the verb sacar with the direct object pronoun los.

The positive imperative for is saca, for which the first syllable has the tonic accent (the primary stress). As the first syllable (the 2nd syllable from the end) is the stressed (or accented) syllable, which satisfies the rule that words that end with a vowel, "n" or "s" have their accent on the 2nd syllable from the end, it does not bear a written accent.

The positive imperative for vos is sacá: the LAST syllable has the tonic accent (the primary stress). As the word ends with a vowel letter, "n" or "s", it VIOLATES the rule that words that end in a vowel, "n" or "s" have their tonic accent on the 2nd syllable from the end, and a written accent on the syllable that has the primary stress is required.

So, we have two possible 2nd person singular positive imperatives for sacar: saca () and sacá (vos).

Now on to adding the object pronoun los (or any other object pronoun) as a suffix to the imperative of sacar. Adding one or more object pronouns does not change which syllable of the original imperative form has the primary stress. However, it changes the number of syllables in the word, and it changes the relative position of which syllable in the word has the primary stress when you count from the last syllable toward the beginning of the word.

Consider the imperative for : saca has the primary stress on the first syllable, "sa-". When you add the pronoun los as a suffix, the the syllable "sa-" is still the syllable that has the primary stress. However, the new word *sacalos now has 3 syllables, not 2 syllables. The new word ends in a vowel, "n" or "s", and the rule of accent placement says that the primary stress should go on the 2nd syllable from the end, that is on "-ca-". However, this is not true, the syllable with the primary stress is supposed to be "sa-". To indicate this it is mandatory to use a written accent to mark that syllable. The correct way to write this positive imperative for is sácalos.

Next, consider the imperative for vos: sacá has the primary stress on the last syllable "-ca", and the written accent is mandatory in order to correctly show the location of the primary stress. When you add the pronoun los as a suffix, the syllable "-ca" is still the syllable that has the primary stress. However, the new word *sacálos now has 3 syllables, not 2 syllables. The new word ends in a vowel, "n" or "s", and the rule of accent placement says that the primary stress should go on the 2nd syllable from the end, that is on "-ca". This is in fact true, and as a result it is NOT necessary to indicate the location of the primary stress with a written accent, and it is considered correct NOT to write an accent on this word. The correct way to write this positive imperative for vos is sacalos.

And there's the confusion: in your original you wrote sacalos, which appears to be a positive imperative for vos. But most of your positive imperatives that do not have object pronouns and most of your negative imperatives are the forms for .

In your edited text you rewrote sacalos as *sacalós, and you rewrote hiervala as *hiervalá. However, suffixed object pronouns NEVER have the primary stress in a positive imperative.

Last edited by wrholt; June 06, 2015 at 10:22 AM.
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  #5  
Old June 06, 2015, 02:56 PM
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AngelicaDeAlquezar AngelicaDeAlquezar is offline
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Great correcting job. Wrholt has given you a good explanation about the verbs and their suffixes.

I have added some suggestions and hints to improve.

Quote:
Hola *** (Punctuation mark needed) me llamo Haley, voy a hacer los encurtidos para los rollitos de verduras. Primero debe (This is "usted"; you want "tú") tener los pepinos, la cebolla, jalapeño claro, y (Style problem here: you are making the next action a part of the things you must have; a better punctuation is needed, so these two sides of the sentence can be distinguished) completamente lavarlos. No tengas las verduras sucias. Después añade mucho la sal ("Mucho" is modifying the verb, but I think you want to modify "sal", so in this case, you must get rid of the article and use "mucho" as an adjective; that means that it must agree in gender and number with the noun), minuciosamente *** (A preposition is needed here) las venduras (Spelling=. El agua necesita sal por viente(Spelling) minutos (So you will need to pour salt during 20 minutes? Maybe this is not what you mean) y enjuaga. No saques las verduras después de diez minutos. Dejalos (Spelling and also gender agreement) aparte, (You need a longer pause here, because you're giving a new instruction) haz la salmuera. Luego, hiervalá (Conjugation here is still "usted", but you want "tú", since that's the person you've been using all along; also, check Wrholt's previous notes) en fuego lento, y apaga la estufa. Entonces, pon los pepinos en una olla, saca los (You don't separate the OD from the verb) de la salmuera hierva ("Usted" again) *** (Preposition needed here) fuego lento de nuevo (I'm trying to say again). No dejes los pepinos hierve (You already have a conjugated verb "dejes", so you need an infinitive here.) por mucho tiempo. Sacalós (Answer in Wrholt's notes) rápidamente. Finalmente, pon los encurtidos en un envase y deja enfriar. Los encurtidos están terminado (Number agreement).
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