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  #1  
Old August 17, 2010, 10:13 PM
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CrOtALiTo CrOtALiTo is offline
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I need your advice

Hello.

I have sent this e-mail to many costumers, therefore I need if you can check my grammatical, and if you can give me more ideas about as I should to write an e-mail trough of the internet.


Buenas noches.

Sistemas Informáticos Avanzados quiere darte a conocer nuestros servicios de outsourcing y instalación de servidores VPN’s IPS, servidores de exchange (Correo)

Como bien hemos dado a conocer nuestros servicios de instalación de servidores para que tu información nunca se pierda y puedas acceder desde cualquier parte donde estés.

Instalaciones de cámaras IP en tiempo real, para que tengas control absoluto de tus oficinas y patios de trabajo puedes verificar en tiempo real durante tu vuelo de negocios el estado de tus instalaciones.

Servicios de telefonía IP costos mas económicos en larga distancia e internacional con tecnología Asterik

Tenemos gran variedad de accesorios de informática y ventas de equipos de computo, Laptops, servidores HP, DELL, Toshiba, Acer.

Contamos con contratos de servicio de outsourcing para tu comodidad con asistencia remota las 24 horas del día.

Queremos que conozcas mas afondo nuestros servicios y tus necesidades, por ese motivo te invito a una conferencia el día jueves en punto de las 11 A.M.

Por favor confirma tu asistencia, inmediatamente se te enviara un link para entrar a la conferencia, de igual forma si necesitas cotización y tienes inquietudes sobre algún servicio puedes tocar el tema.

Saludos.

On behalf of

We’re pleased to you to know our outsourcing services, installation of VPN’s server and exchange server.
As we have told you before our backup server s you never will loss your information of your company, so you can check your stored information from any place where you are.
We install IP cameras in real time so you can have the absolute control of your company in video such as you can see in video your yards work and your offices, so you can have absolute control over your employers, you will check out in real time any installed camera in your office meanwhile you are flying toward any destination.

We can offer you.

IP telephone services, this service are cheaper than others telephone services, the outgoing calling as international calls and national ones are cheaper.

We have a great variety of computer accessories and we sell computers and laptops of rename brands like HP, DELL, Toshiba, and Acer computers.
We have outsourcing services troughout of a contract with the company for a comfortable assistance; we have helpdesk every day and all the day the 24 hours.

We looking forward to let you know more about our services and we want to know your needs about computer, for that reason, I want to invite you to a conference the next Thursday at 11:00 A.M.

Please you confirm your assistance and immediately you will get a link where you will join to the video conference, if you have any questions about your needs or if you have some kind of requirement for your assistance, please don’t hesitate to ask me.

Sincerely yours.
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We are building the most important dare for my life and my family feature now we are installing new services in telecoms.
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  #2  
Old August 17, 2010, 11:30 PM
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Rusty Rusty is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CrOtALiTo View Post
On behalf of Sistemas Informáticos Avanzados, we’re pleased to announce our outsourcing services and our expert installation of VPN and Exchange Mail servers.

With our backup server installation, you will never lose vital company information and will be able to access stored data from anywhere.

We install live IP cameras wherever surveillance is desired - in offices or grounds. You will be able to monitor activity and control any installed camera, in real time, even during business flights.

We also offer IP telephone services. These are cheaper than conventional telephone services. Long-distance and international call rates are also cheaper, using Asterisk technologies.

We have a wide variety of computer accessories. We sell brand-name computers, laptops, and servers, like HP, DELL, Toshiba, and Acer.

For your convenience, we offer outsourcing service contracts, with 24-hour remote assistance.

We look forward to letting you know more about our services and would like learn more about your needs. For that reason, we invite you to a conference next Thursday at 11:00 A.M.

Please confirm your attendance and you will immediately be sent a link that will enable you to join the video conference. You may also tell us your needs, or you can receive a quote for services by ....

If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask us.

Sincerely yours.
If you personally are signing this letter, you should change all references to the 1st-person plural to a singular reference instead. You should be consistent, whatever the choice. (You should not mix 'we' and 'I' in the letter.)

The original Spanish was used as a base for my translation, but I added some wording that 'sells' your company's services a bit better.
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  #3  
Old August 18, 2010, 12:45 AM
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CrOtALiTo CrOtALiTo is offline
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Thank you for the advices.
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