#1  
Old December 07, 2016, 07:11 PM
Marissa Marissa is offline
Opal
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 1
Marissa is on a distinguished road
Skit Critique

Hi,
I am performing a skit for my Spanish class soon and would like some critique, suggestions etc. The unit is Ecology and my specific topic is global warming. It's supposed to last around 5-7 minutes. C and J stand for names.

Spanish:
J: Prefacio:
C es un organizador de Campañas Ambientales que trabaja para la organización de Global Acción Medio Ambiente (GEA). C paradas a hablar con un posible donador, J.

J: Hola C, ¿como estas?
C: Estoy bíen, gracias. ¿Y tu?
J: Bíen. Puedo yo tengo mas infomaccion sobre el calenmiento global antes de yo dono? Yo sabe es un muy importante tema.
C: Seguro! El calentamiento global es a aumento gradual de las temperaturas de la atmosfera y oceanos de la tierra. Es muy possible en cinco anos que la planeta (will be) insostenible a vivir en.
C: Clase, que saben ustedes de calentiemiento global?
J: Se que el calentamiento global es muy malo pero no sabe mucho mas.
C: Actualmente tenemos un planeta moribundo. El calenamiento global tiene muchas causas. Una causa es gases de efectos invernado. Segundo, cloroflurocarbanos. Ellos contribuyen a la destruccion de la capa de ozono. Finalmente, la actividad humana. Nosotros producir efectos toxico en la tierra. ¿Sabia usted que?
J: No, intersante! ¿Como nosotros afecta el calentamiento global como un poblacion?
C: Muchas cosas como ola de calor, huracanes, la lluvia acida y la sequia.
J: Yo no sabia. ¿Hay algo que las personas puedan a ayudar este problema horrible?
C: Si! Apagar la luz, la television y la computadora when (they aren't in use), comprar productos organicos y usar el transporte publico como el autobus, bicleta, o caminar. Ademas, recuerda el tres R's (erre): reducir, reusar y reciclar. Un resumen hay son muchos soluciones que (anyone) pueden. Que haces a reducir tu impacto, J?
J: Yo soy uso recargable baterias, cerrar el grifo cuando no la usas, y reciclar reciclabes. Hay son no fertilizantes danino en mi jardin y yo tambien plantar arboles. Gracias por tu consejo, yo intentare to usar (them) en el futuro.
J: Clase, ¿que haces a reducir tu impacto nuestro planeta?
C: Excelente! La organización de Global Acción Medio Ambiente (has been) trabajando desde 2008 a promover la educación de esta cuestión al público y crear conciencia.
J: Gracias por hablar con mi C! Yo realmente aprendí mucho sobre el calentamiento global. Voy a donar $500 dólares para el final de la semana.
J: Clase, ¿que tienen tu aprendar hoy sobre el calentamiento global? ¿Qué es un hecho importante?
C: ¡No problema, eres muy amable! Yo espero que en el futuro este problemo no existar. Siento que con la ayudamos de todos, esto se puede hacer.


English:
J: Preface: C is an Environmental Campaign organizer that works with the Global Environmental Action organization (GEA). C stops to speak with a potential donor, J.

J: Hello C, how are you?
C: I am good, thanks. And you?
J: Good. Can I have more information about global warming before I donate? I know it is a very important topic.
C: Sure! Global warming is the gradual rising of the atmospheric and ocean temperatures of the earth. It is very possible that in five years the planet will be unsustainable to live on.
C: Class, what do you know about global warming?
J: I know global warming is very bad but I don't know much else.
C: Actually we have a dying planet. Global warming has many causes. One cause is greenhouse gases. Secondly, CFC'S. They contribute to the destruction of the ozone. Finally, human activity. We produce toxic effects on the earth. Did you know that?
J: No, interesting! How does this affect us as a population?
C: Many things like heat waves, hurricanes, acid rain and drought.
J: I never knew. Is there anything that individuals can do to help this horrible problem?
C: Yes! Turn off the lights, television and the computer when they are not in use, buy organic products, and use public transportation like the bus, bicycle, or walk. Additionally remember the three R's: reduce, reuse, and recycle. In summary there are many solutions that anyone can do. What are you doing to reduce your impact, J?
J: I am using rechargeable batteries, turning off the faucet when not in use, and recycling recyclables. There are no harm/hurtful fertilizers in my garden and I also plant trees. Thanks for the tips, I will try to use them in the future.
J: Class, what do you to reduce your impact on our planet?
C: Excellent! The Global Environmental Action organization has been working since 2008 to promote the education of this issue to the public and create awareness.
J: Thanks for speaking with me C! I really learned a lot about global warming. I am going to donate $500 dollars by the end of the week.
J: Class, what have you learned today about global warming? What is one important fact?
C: No problem, you are very kind! I hope that in the future this problem will not exist. I feel that with everyone's help, this can be done.
Reply With Quote
   
Get rid of these ads by registering for a free Tomísimo account.
  #2  
Old December 07, 2016, 09:06 PM
Rusty's Avatar
Rusty Rusty is offline
Señor Speedy
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 10,143
Native Language: American English
Rusty has a spectacular aura aboutRusty has a spectacular aura about
I've marked up your text, pointing out where changes are needed (or where I made a change) and have given you some hints here and there. A lot of the errors are misspelled words (words are not spelled correctly if an accent mark is omitted)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marissa View Post
Hi,
C es un organizador de Campañas Ambientales que trabaja para la organización de Global Acción Medio Ambiente (Acción global del medio ambiente) (GEA, por sus siglas en inglés). C paradas (use a verb here instead of a plural noun) a (wrong preposition) hablar con un posible donador (potencial donante), J.

J: Hola C, ¿como estas?
C: Estoy bíen, gracias. ¿Y tu?
J: Bíen. Puedo yo tengo (an infinitive follows 'puedo', not a conjugated verb - use 'obtener') mas infomaccion (misspelled, in addition to the missing accent mark) sobre el calenmiento (misspelled) global antes de yo dono (since the subject hasn't changed, use an infinitive here - if the subject were changing, you'd need to use a verb conjugated in the subjunctive mood)? Yo sabe (wrong person, and the verb should be followed by the conjunction 'que') es un muy importante tema (sounds better if 'tema' precedes 'muy').
C: (missing punctuation)Seguro! El calentamiento global es a aumento gradual de las temperaturas de la atmosfera y (missing article) oceanos de la tierra. Es muy possible en cinco anos que la planeta (will be) insostenible a vivir en (a preposition cannot end a sentence in Spanish - reword in English first, like, "won't be able to sustain life," then translate).
C: Clase, (missing punctuation)que saben ustedes de(missing the contracted article) calentiemiento global?
J: Se que el calentamiento global es muy malo pero no sabe mucho mas.
C: Actualmente tenemos un planeta moribundo. El calenamiento global tiene muchas causas. Una causa es gases (de efectos invernado. Segundo, (missing article) cloroflurocarbanos. Ellos/Estos contribuyen a la destruccion de la capa de ozono. Finalmente, la actividad humana. Nosotros producir (needs conjugated) efectos toxico() en la tierra. ¿Sabia usted que (use a demonstrative pronoun for 'that' instead of the conjunction)(also, be consistent in the usage of person - this could be a question to more than one person, or to an individual, and you should not switch between formal (used here) and informal speech (used later))?
J: No, no lo sabía. ¡Qué intersante! ¿Como nosotros (use an indirect object pronoun instead of a subject pronoun) afecta el calentamiento global como un poblacion?
C: Muchas cosas como () ola de calor, () huracanes, la lluvia acida y la sequia.
J: Yo no () sabia. ¿Hay algo que las personas puedan () (missing infinitive) a (wrong preposition) aliviar este problema horrible?
C: ()Si! Apagar la luz, la television y la computadora when (they aren't in use), comprar productos organicos y usar el transporte publico, como el autobus, () bicleta, o caminar. Ademas, recuerda el tres R's () erres: reducir, reutilizar y reciclar. Un resumen, hay son muchos soluciones que (anyone) pueden () (missing infinitive). ()Que haces a reducir tu impacto, J?
J: [s] Yo soy[/] uso recargable baterias, cerrar el grifo cuando no la usas, y reciclar () reciclabes. No hay son no fertilizantes danino() en mi jardin y yo tambien plantar arboles. Gracias por tu consejo(make the preceding two words plural), yo intentare to usarlos (them) en el futuro.
J: Clase, ¿que haces a reducir tu impacto () nuestro planeta?
C: ()Excelente! La organización de Global Acción Medio Ambiente (has been) trabajando desde 2008 a promover la educación de esta cuestión al público y crear conciencia.
J: Gracias por hablar con mi C! Yo realmente aprendí mucho sobre el calentamiento global. Voy a donar $500 dólares para el final de la semana.
J: Clase, ¿que tienen tu aprendar (use the present perfect tense, 'have learned') hoy sobre el calentamiento global? ¿Qué es un hecho importante?
C: ¡No () problema, eres muy amable! Yo espero que en el futuro este problemo no existar. Siento que con la ayudamos de todos, esto se puede hacer.


English:
J: Preface: C is an Environmental Campaign organizer that works with the Global Environmental Action organization (GEA). C stops to speak with a potential donor, J.

J: Hello C, how are you?
C: I am good, thanks. And you?
J: Good. Can I have more information about global warming before I donate? I know it is a very important topic.
C: Sure! Global warming is the gradual rising of the atmospheric and ocean temperatures of the earth. It is very possible that in five years the planet will be unsustainable to live on.
C: Class, what do you know about global warming?
J: I know global warming is very bad but I don't know much else.
C: Actually we have a dying planet. Global warming has many causes. One cause is greenhouse gases. Secondly, CFC'S. They contribute to the destruction of the ozone. Finally, human activity. We produce toxic effects on the earth. Did you know that?
J: No, interesting! How does this affect us as a population?
C: Many things like heat waves, hurricanes, acid rain and drought.
J: I never knew. Is there anything that individuals can do to help this horrible problem?
C: Yes! Turn off the lights, television and the computer when they are not in use, buy organic products, and use public transportation like the bus, bicycle, or walk. Additionally remember the three R's: reduce, reuse, and recycle. In summary there are many solutions that anyone can do. What are you doing to reduce your impact, J?
J: I am using rechargeable batteries, turning off the faucet when not in use, and recycling recyclables. There are no harm/hurtful fertilizers in my garden and I also plant trees. Thanks for the tips, I will try to use them in the future.
J: Class, what do you do to reduce your impact on our planet?
C: Excellent! The Global Environmental Action organization has been working since 2008 to promote the education of this issue to the public and create awareness.
J: Thanks for speaking with me C! I really learned a lot about global warming. I am going to donate $500 dollars by the end of the week.
J: Class, what have you learned today about global warming? What is one important fact?
C: No problem, you are very kind! I hope that in the future this problem will not exist. I feel that with everyone's help, this can be done.

Last edited by Rusty; December 09, 2016 at 05:36 PM.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmark this thread at:

 

Link to this thread
URL: 
HTML Link: 
BB Code: 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Site Rules

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Critique my writing assignment aceofspades9991 Practice & Homework 3 February 10, 2015 05:15 AM
Would you critique my composition? kirk1 Practice & Homework 2 March 21, 2013 03:14 PM
Requesting a Critique.... Feliz Practice & Homework 29 September 25, 2010 10:21 AM


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 12:25 PM.

Forum powered by vBulletin® Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

X