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First story

 

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  #1  
Old August 13, 2011, 12:26 AM
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First story

Nada Más
Con esta moneda
me voy a comprar
un ramo de cielo
y un metro de mar,
un pico de estrella
un sol de verdad,
un kilo de viento,
y nada mas

My translation. . .

Nothing Else
With this money
I'm going to buy
a bunch of sky,
and a meter of sea,
a point of a star
a sun of truth
a kilogram of breeze,
and nothing else
That's what I came up with. Not sure what it means though.

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  #2  
Old August 13, 2011, 02:57 AM
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"coin" instead of money
"real" instead of "of truth"
the rest is OK, but to keep the poetical sense, language level and avoid losing the meaning, I'd suggest:

With this coin
I'm gonna buy
A bouquet of sky
And three feet of sea,
One point of a star
A real-deal sun
Six ounces of breeze
And nothing besides
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  #3  
Old August 13, 2011, 10:36 AM
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Que bueno. Thanks Alec.
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  #4  
Old August 13, 2011, 05:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aleCcowaN View Post
"coin" instead of money
"real" instead of "of truth"
the rest is OK, but to keep the poetical sense, language level and avoid losing the meaning, I'd suggest:

With this coin
I'm gonna buy
A bouquet of sky
And three feet of sea,
One point of a star
A real-deal sun
Six ounces of breeze
And nothing besides

I would keep "a sun of truth" unless you want to mean "a sun of reality".
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  #5  
Old August 13, 2011, 06:49 PM
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aleCcowaN aleCcowaN is offline
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How "un sol de verdad" could be "a sun of truth" at any rate?

"De verdad/de veras" are adjectival phrases that mean "real" and I chose "real-deal" in the meaning of "authentic, genuine" with a twist of "be impressed".

Other interpretations of "un sol de verdad" (similar to "a beacon of truth") doesn't match the poem's set: the kid is buying with a coin a lot of concrete items that exist in fantasy as such or as depictions of real items; the kid is not buying abstract notions.
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  #6  
Old August 13, 2011, 10:16 PM
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All I know is I can't (but I'm gonna have to) wait 'til I can think about the possible meanings of something. Thanks for the MULTIPLE possibilities
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  #7  
Old August 13, 2011, 11:06 PM
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Correct.
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