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Ayudame por favor

 

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  #1  
Old December 08, 2011, 02:25 PM
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Beto Beto is offline
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Ayudame por favor

Tengo que traducir una lectura para mi iglesia y me gustaría ayuda. Aquí tiene la lectura en inglés y español:

to you who is light in the midst of darkness,
shine amongst us, shine within us;

to you who is the giver of joy and laughter
we seek to know your presence.

ok, mi traducción en español:

a tí quien es la luz en medio de la oscuridad
bríllate entre sí, bíillate dentro de nosotros;

a tí quien que nos da la alegría y las risas
desamos sentir tu presencia.

Gracias por la ayuda.
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  #2  
Old December 08, 2011, 02:34 PM
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Nice work.

Comments below:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Beto View Post
a quien es (I'd leave it, as it matches the construction in English, but in Spanish it would sound more natural to say "a ti que eres la luz...") la luz en medio de la oscuridad
bríllate (No pronominal) entre (No "sí", as there is no person or group of persons that is referring to. Use the pronoun.), bíillate (No pronominal) dentro de nosotros;

a quien que nos da la alegría y las risas
desamos sentir tu presencia.
Blue are spelling mistakes.
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  #3  
Old December 08, 2011, 03:07 PM
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Gracias Angelica estoy de acuerdo.
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  #4  
Old December 08, 2011, 04:02 PM
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aleCcowaN aleCcowaN is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beto View Post
to you who is light in the midst of darkness,
shine amongst us, shine within us;

to you who is the giver of joy and laughter
we seek to know your presence.
A ti (or betterinstead of 'a ti') que eres la luz en medio de la obscuridad,
brilla entre nosotros, brilla dentro de nosotros;

a ti (or better Tú) que eres dador de risas y alegría
anhelamos sentir tu presencia
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Last edited by aleCcowaN; December 08, 2011 at 04:18 PM. Reason: better option
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  #5  
Old December 09, 2011, 06:17 AM
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"Tú", si es una interpelación; "a ti", si es una dedicatoria.
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