#571  
Old October 25, 2012, 01:25 AM
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A joke from Ireland, where you are allowed to drink alcohol in a pub at the age of 18:

Paddy had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition. It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 18th birthday. On that special day, they'd each walked across the lake to the pub on the far side for their first legal drink. So when Paddy's, 18th birthday came 'round, he and his pal Mick, took a boat out to the middle of the lake, Paddy, stepped out of the boat ...and nearly drowned! Mick just barely managed to pull him to safety. Furious and confused, Paddy, went to see his grandmother. 'Grandma,' he asked, "It's my 18th birthday, so why can't I walk 'cross the lake like my father, his father, and his father before him?" Granny looked deeply into Paddy's, troubled brown eyes and said, "Because your father, your grandfather and your great grandfather were all born in December, when the lake is frozen, and you were born in August, you idiot.
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  #572  
Old October 25, 2012, 05:32 AM
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  #573  
Old October 25, 2012, 11:54 AM
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I love it!!


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  #574  
Old November 17, 2012, 08:03 PM
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This has potty humor so I apologize, but its too funny to pass.

Two men went on a hunting trip. One morning, one of the hunters told the other hunter that he was going to go into the woods to go "number two" . Shortly after the hunter that stayed in camp heard a blood curdling scream from his partner in the woods. He rushed towards the sound of his friend when he heard a second scream worse than the first. When he reached his friend he was lying on the ground in agony. He asked him what happened. The friend explained that as he squatted to go the bathroom, he accidently squatted over a bear trap and he set it off. The other hunter asked what the second scream was for then. The other hunter replied. . . .

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  #575  
Old November 18, 2012, 06:12 AM
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  #576  
Old November 29, 2012, 12:15 PM
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Okay, bear with me......

An English-speaking couple had gone on vacation to Mexico. They decided to see the different sites and to be their own tourist guide. On their first day of sight seeing they we so amazed by the different sites, buildings, people, etc., that they didn't realize they had ended up in the "zona rosa" where all the "social workers" practice their trade. Being a bit concerned, the wife asked the husband to get them out of there. To what he responded, "don't worry, I took a Spanish class back in HS and I think I can ask for directions". He approached a beautiful blonde hooker standing in the corner of the street and thinking (because she was blonde and blue-eyed) that she was someone who spoke English decided to approach her but the wife warned him about what he was going to say. "Don't worry, I know what I am doing", he said. He approached her and asked her, "usted ser latina?" To what she said..." no, yo soy La Lolis, La Tina está allá arriba con un büey"!!!

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  #577  
Old November 30, 2012, 12:41 AM
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  #578  
Old January 20, 2013, 06:57 PM
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When a wife kisses her husband as he comes home, is it affection or inspection?
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  #579  
Old January 20, 2013, 07:59 PM
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Man...is not even funny.
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  #580  
Old January 23, 2013, 09:59 AM
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Why so defensive?
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