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First translation

 

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  #1  
Old January 01, 2013, 11:23 PM
kletcetera kletcetera is offline
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First translation

Hello there,


Kind of a newbie here, im trying to translate an article from english to spanish related to teeth whitening.. i know its not perfect but I need to know if it reads well. thanks for any help! here is the beginning of the article :


English :

Teeth whitening is the process of bleaching your teeth in order to make them whiter. Most likely you’ve noticed the various ads for teeth whitening products bombarding us everywhere. “If your teeth are whiter, you look better” is the message that these advertisements send. Teeth whitening is a big business - close to 2 billion dollars this year alone and will only get bigger as the time goes by.

It seems as though good looks and a great smile is becoming ever more expected and important in our society. Celebrities are spending thousands of dollars to create the perfect smile using cosmetic dentistry procedures. But it's now moving on to mainstream America for the need and to have a whiter and bright smile. It's much more accessible to find teeth whitening products over the counter at your general store whether it is whitening toothpaste, teeth whitening gels or teeth whitening strips. But before we get into that, what is teeth whitening?




Spanish translation attempt :


El blanqueamiento dental es el proceso de aclarar tus dientes para hacerlos más blancos. Probablemente has notado una variedad de avisos publicitarios sobre productos de blanqueamiento dental bombardeándonos por todos lados. “Si tus dientes son mas blancos, te ves mejor” es el mensaje que estas publicidades envían. El blanqueamiento dental es un gran negocio – cerca de 2 billones de dólares solo este año y crecerá a medida que pase el tiempo.
Parece ser que la buena apariencia y una gran sonrisa se están convirtiendo en algo más esperado e importante en nuestra sociedad. Las celebridades están gastando miles de dólares en crear la sonrisa perfecta usando procedimientos cosméticos dentales. Pero ahora se está trasladando principalmente a América por las necesidades y por tener una sonrisa más blanca y más brillante. Es mucho más accesible encontrar productos de blanqueamiento dental sobre la mesa en su tienda local ya sea la pasta dental blanqueadora, geles de blanqueamiento dental o tiras de blanqueamiento dental. Pero antes de que hablemos de eso, que es el blanqueamiento dental?
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  #2  
Old January 02, 2013, 12:48 PM
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poli poli is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kletcetera View Post
Hello there,


Kind of a newbie here, im trying to translate an article from english to spanish related to teeth whitening.. i know its not perfect but I need to know if it reads well. thanks for any help! here is the beginning of the article :


English :

Teeth whitening is the process of bleaching your teeth in order to make them whiter. Most likely you’ve noticed the various ads for teeth whitening products bombarding us everywhere. “If your teeth are whiter, you look better” is the message that these advertisements send. Teeth whitening is a big business - close to 2 billion dollars this year alone and will only get bigger as the time goes by.

It seems as though good looks and a great smile is becoming ever more expected and important in our society. Celebrities are spending thousands of dollars to create the perfect smile using cosmetic dentistry procedures. But it's now moving on to mainstream America for the need and to have a whiter and bright smile. It's much more accessible to find teeth whitening products over the counter at your general store whether it is whitening toothpaste, teeth whitening gels or teeth whitening strips. But before we get into that, what is teeth whitening?




Spanish translation attempt :


(El blanqueamiento dental es el proceso de aclarar tus dientes para hacerlos más blancos.)--not needed in Spanish because emblanquecer means to bleech and is therefore redundent) Probablemente has notado una variedad de avisos publicitarios sobre productos de blanqueamiento dental bombardeándonos por todos lados. “Si tus dientes lucen mas blancos, te ves mejor” es el mensaje que estas publicidades envían. El blanqueamiento dental es un gran negocio – en el año pasado se gastó casi dos billones de dólares en emblaquecimientos y los gastos aumentará más en el futuro.
(Parece ser que) La buena apariencia y una gran sonrisa se ha convertido en algo inesperadamente importante en nuestra sociedad. La gente famosa gastan miles de dólares en blanqueciimientos cosméticos dentales, y ahora no solo ellos sino americanos como tú y yo. Es más fácil encontrar blanqueamientos dentales sin receta médica en cualquiera farmácia. Uno puede escoger entre pasta dental blanqueadora, geles de blanqueamiento dental y tiras (tiritas) de blanqueamiento dental. Pero no hablamos de eso antes que averiguamos exactamente cual es el blanqueamiento dental?
This is my attempt to get the ball rolling. Native speakers will later provide you with better advice and may correct my corrections, but my corrections are a guideline.
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  #3  
Old January 02, 2013, 10:16 PM
kletcetera kletcetera is offline
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thanks a lot thats some obvious stuff i didnt think about. Did it read really bad for you or would you say its not perfect but still readable?
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  #4  
Old January 02, 2013, 11:48 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kletcetera View Post
...
I'm kind of a newbie here and am trying to translate an article from English to Spanish related to teeth whitening. I know it's not perfect but I need to know if it reads well. Thanks for any help! Here is the beginning of the article:
...
Quote:
Originally Posted by kletcetera View Post
Thanks a lot. That's some obvious stuff I didn't think about. Did it read really bad for you or would you say it's not perfect but still readable?
Welcome to the forums.
I marked up your English so that those who are trying to learn the language won't be confused by your lack of proper capitalization and punctuation (including the contractions).
You correctly capitalized 'English' and 'Spanish' later on, and the article was better punctuated, although not entirely without error.

Your Spanish translation was readable, but perhaps a little too literal. You've already learned, I would guess, that a word-for-word translation seldom works. Along the same vein, if your translations are too literal, they won't generally sound like Spanish.

There were a few misspelled words in poli's corrections and wording that deviated from the original. Perhaps he was trying to address a different audience. I would do the same thing, especially if your audience doesn't live in America!

Quote:
Originally Posted by kletcetera View Post
El blanqueamiento dental es el proceso de blanquear los dientes para hacerlos más blancos.
Lo más probable es que te has dado cuenta de los productos para blanquear los dientes de varios anuncios publicitarios que nos bombardean por todas partes.
“Si sus dientes son más blancos, que se ven mejor” es el mensaje que estas publicidades envían.
El blanqueamiento dental es un gran negocio – cerca de 2 billones de dólares sólo este año y crecerá con el paso del tiempo.
Parece ser que verse bien y tener una gran sonrisa se hace cada vez más deseado e importante en nuestra sociedad.
Los famosos/Las personas famosas/Las celebridades gastan miles de dólares para crear la sonrisa perfecta con los procedimientos cosméticos dentales.
(I would leave some of the original words out of this sentence if your audience isn't living in America.) Pero ahora se ve que la mayoría de la gente quiere tener una sonrisa brillante y más blanca y más brillante.
Es mucho más accesible encontrar los productos de blanqueamiento dental en el mostrador de su tienda local, ya sea la pasta dental blanqueadora, geles de blanqueamiento dental o tiras de blanqueamiento dental.
Pero antes de entrar en eso/hablar de eso/que hablemos de eso, ¿qué es el blanqueamiento dental?
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