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Requesting feedback on a translation: Bobbsey Twins

 

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Old March 27, 2013, 07:46 PM
kimma kimma is offline
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Post Requesting feedback on a translation: Bobbsey Twins

I am just learning Spanish and for a bit of fun I am trying to translate a kids' book I have called The Bobbsey Twins in Rainbow Valley. I'm going through it page by page and would really love some feedback so I can improve as I go along. I particularly need help with tenses as in my lessons we've only covered present tense and present progressive.

The book itself is from the 1950s, which is why some of the English is a bit antiquated.

Here is the first page with my translation...

The Bobbsey Twins in Rainbow Valley

By Laura Lee Hope

Chapter One
A frisky hunting dog

“Oh dear,” Flossie Bobbsey said, “There’s nothing here but milk and eggs and——“

“Here, let me take a look,” her twin brother Freddie offered. “We just have to have some raw meat for our drag.”

Freddie and Flossie Bobbsey, six years old, were standing in front of the refrigerator in their kitchen. The big white door was wide open, and Flossie’s blonde head was poked inside. Suddenly a voice from behind them made the twins jump.

“My goodness! Why you lettin’ so much warm air in the icebox?”

Dinah, the stout, kindly Negro cook who worked for the Bobbsey family, walked up and shut the door.

“Please help us with our drag, Dinah,” Freddie said. “We need some raw meat to make one.”

Los Gemelos de Bobbsey en Valle de Arco Iris

Por Laura Lee Hope

Cap├*tulo Uno
Un perro de caza retoz├│n

┬ź┬íAy!┬╗ Flossie Bobbsey dijo ┬źhay nada aqu├* pero leche y huevos y——┬╗

┬źAqu├*, dejar me mirar┬╗, su hermano gemelo Freddie presento. ┬źNosotros simplemente debemos tenemos algunos carne crudo para nuestros draga.┬╗

Freddie y Flossie Bobbsey, que tienen seis años, estaban de pie frente a el refrigerador en su cocina. La puerta blanca grande estuvo bien abierto, y cabeza de Flossie rubia estuvo asomó dentro. Bruscamente, una voz de detrás les casusaron los gemelos saltar.

┬ź┬íDios m├*o! ┬┐Por que est├íis dejando tanto aire tibio en la nevera?┬╗

Dinah, la cocinera negra robusta amable que trabaj├│ para familia de Bobbsey, se acerc├│ y cerr├│ la puerta.

┬źPor favor nos ayuden con nuestros draga, Dinah┬╗ Freddie dijo. ┬źNosotros necesitemos algunos carne crudo para hacer uno.┬╗
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