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OzymandiasIf you need help translating a sentence or longer piece of text, use this forum. For translations or definitions of a single word or idiom, use the vocabulary forum. |
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#1
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Ozymandias
Well, any sugestion or correction will help me a lot. Thanks for advance.
Percy Bysshe Shelley
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Please, don't hesitate to correct my English. 'Time is a sort of river of passing events, and strong is its current; no sooner is a thing brought to sight than it is swept by and another takes its place, and this too will be swept away.' M.A.
Last edited by ookami; May 19, 2010 at 02:17 PM. |
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#2
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Muy bien. Tengo pocos comentarios.
"The hand that mocked them" - ¿"imitar"? "Burlarse" es la traducción típico de "mock". ¿O es que quieres evitarlo por ya haber usado "burlona"? "Ye" es la forma antigua de segunda persona formal, así que "usted" lo traduce mejor que "tú". "Mighty" sería "poderoso". "Todo poderoso" es "Almighty". Y has desplazado la i de "extiende" en la última línea. |
#3
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tierra antigua = ancient land
a su rededor nada queda = nothing remains around you |
#4
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Una cosa más que se me ocurrió más tarde: he siempre interpretado "ye Mighty" como un plural.
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#5
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You are a native, but just by reading, I would translate that as "Tú/Usted, poderoso"
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#6
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Thanks for the corrections
About "antique land" what would you suggest Rusty? because I've found that antique can be translate as antigua, and I can't imagine another word to express that. And I've changed "a su rededor" by "alrededor", hope its more correct. now In this sentence I'd a doubt with "Round", I just omite it, because I've said "alrededor" before, so it didn't semmed necesary. About the "mock" thing, I understand it as imitate (lets say, to engrave Ozymandias in stone), an action that comes from the sculptor. And "the heart that fed" will be an action that comes from the king. But I have huge doubts about how to translate that entire sentence. I think you are right pjt33, what do you think of this attempt? "Mi nombre es Ozymandias, rey de reyes: Miren mi obra, poderosos hombres, ¡y desesperen!" // Hombres poderosos, ¡miren mi obra y desesperen!" Or maybe is better with "mirad" and "desperad" Thanks, goodbye.
__________________
Please, don't hesitate to correct my English. 'Time is a sort of river of passing events, and strong is its current; no sooner is a thing brought to sight than it is swept by and another takes its place, and this too will be swept away.' M.A.
Last edited by ookami; May 19, 2010 at 07:43 AM. |
#7
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Alrededor seem right to me. I like your translation.
This is my father's favorite poem, and I like it too.
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Me ayuda si corrige mis errores. Gracias. |
#8
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Quote:
Quote:
Miren mi obra, poderosos, ¡y desesperen! It evens the lengths of the two lines (13 / 14 instead of 13 / 16) and I think it gives that line more impact. In my opinion it's the line in the original with the most impact (and I'm sure it's the one I hear quoted out of context the most) so I'd want it to punch in the translation too. |
#9
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I already gave you the translation: ancient land
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#10
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Rusty, he's translating an English poem to Spanish.
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