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Old May 09, 2007, 10:51 AM
celador celador is offline
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soy hombre feliz

Ok here is another one. It's kind of a personal pity party, but sometimes that is what brings out the muse.

Note to Fillipe: No doubt about it, a personal translator is better, but it's just not possible to have that always. This is the best I could do with the mechanical by going back and forth.

y, muy gracias por Tomisimo, para la mejor dictinoario para buscando otras palabras.

So (anyone) give this your best critical evaluation. That native personal touch is exactly what I want.

******

I am a Happy Man / soy hombre feliz

People often ask me / La gente a menudo me pregunta
why I seem so sad / porqué parecer tan triste
I smile and answer / sonrío y contesto,
"I am a happy man" / "soy hombre feliz"
but they know somehow / pero, saben de alguna manera
that it is not the truth / que no es la verdad

though sometimes i toss my head / aunque tirando mi cabeza a veces
and laugh out loud / y risa en voz alta
really from my heart / realmente de mi corazón
i will never smile again/ nunca sonreiré otra vez

Like a departed soul,/ Como un alma difunto
I walk silently / camino silenciosamente
in an alternate world / en un mundo alterno
where there is no sense of touch / donde no hay sentido del tocar
where opportunity still comes / todavía viene de oportunidad
but, only to disguise the pain / pero, disfrazar solamente el dolor
that will be too much my fate / cuál será demasiado mi destino
too late for happiness / así que así tarde para felicidad

Juan 5/07
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  #2  
Old May 09, 2007, 11:14 AM
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Tomisimo Tomisimo is offline
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Ok, here's a try from me :)

I am a Happy Man / Soy Hombre Feliz

People often ask me / Siempre me preguntan (they always ask me)
why I seem so sad / Y tú ¿Porqué tan triste? (Why are you so sad?)
I smile and answer / Sonriendo les contesto, (Smiling I answer)
"I am a happy man" / "Soy hombre feliz" (I'm a happy man)
but they know somehow / Pero de algún modo (But somehow)
that it is not the truth / Saben; no es verdad (they know; It's not the truth)

though sometimes i toss my head / Aunque aveces muevo la cabeza (Though sometimes I shake me head)
and laugh out loud / Y mi risa se oye fuerte (and my laughter is loud)
really from my heart / Adentro en mi corazón (Inside in my heart)
i will never smile again/ Jamás sonreiré de nuevo (I'll never smile again)

Like a departed soul,/ Como alma desvanecida (Like a faded soul)
I walk silently / Camino en silencio (I walk in silence)
in an alternate world / En un mundo alterno (in an alternate world)
where there is no sense of touch / Donde no hay sentido táctil (where there is no sense of touch)
where opportunity still comes / Donde sigue habiendo oportunidad (Where there is still opportunity)
but, only to disguise the pain / Pero sólo disfraza el dolor (but it only disguises pain)
that will be too much my fate / Mi destino será este (My destiny will be this:)
too late for happiness / Ya no cabe la alegría (There's no room for happiness)
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  #3  
Old May 09, 2007, 01:16 PM
celador celador is offline
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sí, señior, usted tiene el tacto también

I only still have problems with these lines in your translation. Otherwise very good. The good thing about this kind of input is that we can modify both versions until it works.


though sometimes throwing my head / aunque a veces tirando mi cabeza

Like a departed soul,/ Como un alma difunto * vanished could work but it isn't really what i want. maybe transparent? diáfano? espectral ?

perhaps my fate will be / quizás mi destino será
too late for happiness / así que así tarde para felicidad
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  #4  
Old May 09, 2007, 02:36 PM
Chambacu. Chambacu. is offline
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Un Hombre feliz.

Hola Amigos,

Aqui esta mi version.

soy un hombre feliz
la gente seguido me pregunta, porque estoy triste?
me sonrio y les contesto.
Soy un hombre feliz.
pero ellos no saben la verdad.
Aveces muevo mi cabeza de un lado para otro y me carcajeao.
desde lo mas profundo de mi corazon, yo nunca sonreire de nuevo.
como una alma que ya partio.
yo camino en silencio en un mundo diferente.
donde no exite el sentido del tacto.
donde la oportunidad sigue llegando
pero donde el dolor se disfraza.
eso sera mucho para mi destino.
muy tarde para ser feliz.

Latino de corazon.

Last edited by Chambacu.; May 09, 2007 at 02:39 PM. Reason: missing words.
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  #5  
Old May 09, 2007, 06:49 PM
celador celador is offline
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Gracias por éstos puntos interesante:

ellos NO saben la verdad / but they do NOT ? understand ...

para OTRO Y ME carcajeao / another and me ROAR with laughter

desde lo mas PROFUNDO de mi corazon / from the DEEP of my heart, * me gusta eso

alma que YA PARTIO / like a soul that already parted.

en un mundo DIFERENTE. / in a world different;

donde (NADA) EXITE el sentido del tacto / where nothing exites the sense from touch; or where nothing exites the touch; * muy bueno

donde la oportunidad SIGUE LLEGANDO/ ... continues arriving.
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  #6  
Old May 09, 2007, 08:17 PM
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Tomisimo Tomisimo is offline
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Creo que Chambacu te dio unas buenas opciones.

Lo único que todavía no es muy fiel al original es el renglón:

Quote:
though sometimes i toss my head and laugh out loud
Tossing your head isn't really shaking your head (from side to side, saying no) or nodding your head (up and down, saying yes).

You might try something like:

Aunque aveces alzo la cabeza con ánimo y me río.
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  #7  
Old May 10, 2007, 01:06 AM
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sosia sosia is offline
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I shouldn't write anything, because Chambacu. and Tomissimo are good.
I give my proofread

Soy un hombre feliz by Juan 5/07

La gente me pregunta
porqué parezco triste
Sonrío y respondo
"soy un hombre feliz"
pero ellos intuyen
que no es la verdad


aunque a veces levante la cabeza
y ria estruendosamente
el fondo de mi corazón
no volverá a sonreir


Como un alma errante
camino silenciosamente
option vago
en un mundo paralelo
donde nadie puede tocarme
donde si la oportunidad llega
es sólo para disfrazar el dolor
mi destino será siempre
llegar tarde a la felicidad



Hope it helps

Last edited by sosia; May 10, 2007 at 01:12 AM.
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  #8  
Old May 10, 2007, 01:18 PM
celador celador is offline
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Wow, Sosia, You are a natural. I really like your first and last verses, almost with no more editing. You have nailed the poetic Spanish translation of the original beautifully, as simple and direct in the Spanish as the original line.

Chambacu, you should write some poetry. Your input is good too, because it is more from the street , meaning you do NOT think in English at all, so I get a fresh perspective, with the idea reversed etc, (like Spanish grammar will tend to do). It takes more editing (for me) to get back to the literal translation and the original idea, but it lends well to even more creativity.

Tomisimo gets a lot of credit too, for the thesuarus espeically, It really helps to expand my spanish vocabulary.

gracias por todos.


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