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Checking an introduction for accuracy

 

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  #1  
Old September 12, 2012, 03:21 AM
al.khwarizmi al.khwarizmi is offline
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Checking an introduction for accuracy

On a language learning profile on another site, I have the following as an introduction. My native language is of course English and I want to have an idea of how accurate the Spanish rendition is:
¡Hola! Creo es hora de aprender un idioma que se habla en el área. Ves (ve?), ya sé dos idiomas aparte de inglés. Específicamente, alemán y sueco. Pero, mientras que no es fácil en absoluto encontrar un diario como Dagens Nyheter aquí, es muy fácil encontrar "El Hispano". (Vivo a un poco menos de 150 km de New York City.) Así que se me occurrió que debería aprender español. En todo caso, me encantaría tener una lengua romance al lado de esas lenguas germánicas...

(Greetings! I think it's time to learn a language actually spoken in my area. You see, I already know two languages other than English. Namely, German and Swedish. But, while it's hard to find a newspaper like Dagens Nyheter here, it is quite easy to find "El Hispano". (I live a little less than 150 km from New York City.) So I thought I should learn Spanish. It would be nice to have a Romance language alongside those Germanic languages, in any case...)
Now I wrote this with the aid of a grammar and dictionary, Googling to see if people actually use phrases I came up with ... I am very novice.

Where it says (ve?), I'm not sure which conjugation of "ver" should be used on the Internet. I know that, in German, using the Sie form (which is pretty similar to usted) on the Internet, even though there are many strangers, would just come across as snide and sarcastic.

If it helps I plan on talking mainly to Latin Americans.

Thanks.
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  #2  
Old September 12, 2012, 05:26 AM
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Rusty Rusty is offline
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Welcome to the forums!

You did very well for a novice.
Some notes:

Instead of literally translating 'you see', omit it. 'Ya sé ... aparte del inglés, específicamente el alemán y el sueco.' If you must use something, it would be something like 'A saber, ...'.

ocurrió

Instead of using 'lengua', keep with 'idioma' in the last part of your introduction.

Last edited by Rusty; September 12, 2012 at 05:28 AM.
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Old September 12, 2012, 07:48 AM
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wrholt wrholt is offline
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Welcome to the forums! I agree with Rusty; you did very well for a novice.
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  #4  
Old September 12, 2012, 05:29 PM
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JPablo JPablo is offline
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Wow, welcome to the forums!

You are novice and nobody helped you to write with such fluency?

I wonder how would you express yourself when you are a master...

(If I sound in incredulous is because I am... but if you wrote this by yourself, only helped by Internet... more power to you!)

You will always have people willing to help you with any questions here...

Note, you can use "¿ves?" informally and "¿ve?" formally... but the "you see" that is so common in English is probably omitted in Spanish... "o sea" could be a cliché used in Spain and other areas... "¿sabes?" or "¿sabe?" (you know?) could be also used, but in oral expression, rather than in writing...
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