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Would someone proofread?Practice Spanish or English here. All replies to a thread should be in the same language as the first post. |
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#1
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Would someone proofread?
Would someone please be willing to proof read this for me? I really could use some help with my grammar. If someone could, I would be extremely grateful!
Yo soy una maestra de primer grado, y tengo un problema grande: Nacho. Es un estudiante mío que es insoportable. Me vuelve loca porque es malcriado y mimado. Si no le doy que lo quiere, llore por horas. Traté de castigar a él, pero todavía se porta mal. Yo decidí que él más ayuda que puedo darle puesto que pelea con los otros niños y no quiere hacer bien en sus clases Ahora, estoy llamando sus padres para hablo de los problemas de Nacho. Su madre contesta el teléfono así me introduzco. Le digo que Nacho tiene muchas dificultades en escuela y con sus compañeros de clase. Le digo que no se porta bien Nacho, y por eso, creo que necesita más disciplina. Su madre exclame, “¡Se equivoca! Mi Nacho es un muy buen niño, y no tengo nunca problemas con él a casa.” ¡Qué ridículo! Digo que recibe malas notas y no se lleva bien con los otros niños, pero su madre insiste: “Sea confundido. Mi hijo es un angelito inocente, y no escucharé me dice cómo criarse mi hijo,” ¡y me cuelga! Estoy tan furioso, pero no hay nada más que puedo hacer pero espero hasta que Nacho se gradúa. Thanks!! |
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#2
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Quote:
I didn't deem this as being a homework assigment, so I gave you more corrections than hints, but if it is homework, please ask questions about the corrections so you can learn why they were made. You introduced yourself as a female teacher, so I made sure adjectives agreed throughout. I also offered some possible alternate wording (in purple) where I thought you might have left things out or just didn't say them correctly. |
#3
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It is homework, but I was supposed to write a story along these lines in present tense... Can that not work for this type of paragraph?
Last edited by crainbuilder; March 17, 2011 at 05:27 PM. |
#4
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Some of it will need reworded, but you can change everything to present tense.
There was a mix of tenses before. Some of your constructs require a switch from the indicative to the subjunctive mood. Unless you're familiar with that, you should avoid it. Ask questions about the corrections, as you're rewording, so we can help. Sorry about any confusion I might have caused. |
#5
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Thanks a lot for your help. I'm taking written proficiency, so I've already learned all of the verb tenses, I just get a little mixed up with exactly when to use which one. I understand why the last sentence should have been gradúe, but I'm wondering why you change
Si no le doy lo que quiere, llore to llora I thought si clauses, when used in present tense, always used the subjunctive. If you could help me out again that would be much appreciated! |
#6
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'If' clauses aren't always cast in the subjunctive, and when they are, the verb in the same clause that contains the 'if' is the one that is cast in the subjunctive.
Edit: the present subjunctive is never used in an 'if' clause. When the subjunctive is needed, the imperfect or pluperfect subjunctive will be used, depending on the verb in the 'result' (main) clause. The clauses can be switched around with no change in meaning. http://www.elearnspanishlanguage.com...siclauses.html http://www.indiana.edu/~spangram/VERBFORMS/s-i-si.htm http://users.ipfw.edu/jehle/courses/condic.htm Last edited by Rusty; March 17, 2011 at 09:24 PM. |
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