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Could I get some corrections and input?

 

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  #1  
Old December 21, 2017, 09:23 AM
daved1113 daved1113 is offline
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Could I get some corrections and input?

I wrote out this little paragraph thing in spanish using different tenses and I would like it if you guys could help me out and show me what I did wrong. Thank you.

El verano pasado, fui a Hawái para un viaje. El tiempo era soleado y caliente. En Hawái, el mar es un destino popular para turistas, por lo tanto quiero ir. El hotel era sucio y un hombre traté de robar mi cartera. El primer día de la vacación, yo habría comprado helado a la playa pero no tuve dinero. En el próximo viaje, miraré mi cartera mejor. Yo había olvidado mi cartera en el vestíbulo. He aprendido mi lección.
El verano próximo, iré a Alemania. Alemania tiene muchas chicas bonitas. Estoy ahorrado para el viaje. Habré tenido suficiente dinero por abril próximo. Yo habría tenido suficiente dinero por el noviembre pasado, pero había perdido mi trabajo.
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  #2  
Old December 21, 2017, 11:59 AM
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Tomisimo Tomisimo is offline
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Hi there! This looks a lot like homework, so I'll just point out a few place you should double-check, but without giving you the answers.

Check verb tense or conjugation in the following places:

>> por lo tanto quiero ir
>> y un hombre traté de robar mi cartera
>> Estoy ahorrado para el viaje

Check proper noun or adjective usage:

>> El primer día de la vacación
>> El verano próximo
>> abril próximo


These are just a few areas you should go over.

Other than that, good job and welcome to the forums! How long have you been studying Spanish?
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  #3  
Old December 21, 2017, 04:36 PM
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ROBINDESBOIS ROBINDESBOIS is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daved1113 View Post
I wrote out this little paragraph thing in spanish using different tenses and I would like it if you guys could help me out and show me what I did wrong. Thank you.

El verano pasado, fui a Hawái para un viaje. El tiempo era soleado y caliente. En Hawái, el mar es un destino popular para turistas, por lo tanto quiero ir. El hotel era sucio y un hombre traté de robar mi cartera. El primer día de la vacación, yo habría comprado helado a la playa pero no tuve dinero. En el próximo viaje, miraré mi cartera mejor. Yo había olvidado mi cartera en el vestíbulo. He aprendido mi lección.
El verano próximo, iré a Alemania. Alemania tiene muchas chicas bonitas. Estoy ahorrado para el viaje. Habré tenido suficiente dinero por abril próximo. Yo habría tenido suficiente dinero por el noviembre pasado, pero había perdido mi trabajo.
El verano pasado fui a Hawai de viaje. Hizo sol y calor. Hawai es un destino muy turístico por su bonito mar, así pues decidí ir.
Sin embargo, hay aspectos negativos que tengo que mencionar. El hotel estaba sucio. Un hombre trató de robarme la cartera. etcc.......
It needs to be redone again
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Old December 22, 2017, 05:59 PM
daved1113 daved1113 is offline
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Thank you guys for your input. I've been studying spanish on and off for a few years but over the past couple of months I have decided to take it more serious. I'm not taking any spanish classes but I do these exercises everyday or so. Ha but uhh as you can tell I have alot to learn. Thanks for the improvements tips.

Another question if you don't mind. Is is bad to post things like this often?
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Old December 22, 2017, 08:11 PM
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Ask away!
It's never bad to post your questions. Many users will be happy to help you.
If you browse the forums, you'll notice many members often post several questions the same day, so don't worry. This is a community where we learn from each other, so we all benefit from questions and answers. You may also help English learners if you feel like it.
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