The future of English

[María José]

Somebody sent me this and I thought it was fun. Hope you enjoy it:
Here is a vision of what might be the next progression in languages.
U vil lik dis!
DIZ IZ KLEVA!!!!
T he European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as 'Euro-English'.
In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This will make words like fotograf 20%! shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in t he languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing 'th' with 'z' and ' w' with 'v'.
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter20ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze f! orst plas.
If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl

[Ambarina]

That was fun!

On a slightly different note, what about this? http://www.wired.com/culture/culture...16-07/st_essay


I still crease up every time I see "rape a la plancha" translated as "rape on the floor" on restaurant menus. But then that's a whole other thread. I'm sure you've all seen some gems.

[María José]

Interesting article. What do you think they mean by please omnivorously put the waste in garbage can?

[poli]

Originally Posted by Ambarina

That was fun!

On a slightly different note, what about this? http://www.wired.com/culture/culture...16-07/st_essay


I still crease up every time I see "rape a la plancha" translated as "rape on the floorYou have seen this??. I question it because literally plancha means iron(not the element but the device we press clothes with)" on restaurant menus. But then that's a whole other thread. I'm sure you've all seen some gems.

María José I think they meant assiduously but used omniverously.
As far a Natives of Singapore saying tink about the teeoree: Just have
a look at gangster movies from 1930 to 2009-if dere are any dis year.
You will hear the same ting. Sadly this isn't much of an exaggeration. This is typical of Jersey City and Brooklyn Italian-Americans and actors who try to immitate them, and is assiduously (and even onmiverously) used by members of the mob.

[Ambarina]

Cross my heart and hope to die - I have seen "rape a la plancha" written on a bilingual menu as "rape on the floor". It was in Chinese restaurant in Spain which apart from Chinese food had some "continental" cuisine.

The only possible explanation I could think of for this mistake is that "hacer la plancha" is, according to Maria Moliner (among other definitions), "Ejercicio gimnástico que consiste en mantener el cuerpo horizontal, apoyado solamente en ambas manos", i.e. push ups which you do on the floor.

[Ambarina]

BTW Poli, "plancha" apart from being an iron is also a kind of grill - usually electric - which is commonly used to cook food using small quantities of oil. A sort of tabletop grill in many homes. In restaurants they use them to cook burgers, steaks, fish, toast bread, etc. and are considerably larger.

[chileno]

Maria Jose, ¿tienes esto mismo pero la version que se aplica al español?

[CrOtALiTo]

It's funny although the idea does not so crazy, if the governments apply or turn the English as first language for me it will be well in with more reason I would have that study more the language to be more able to understand the language.

[irmamar]

Pues yo no me comería "un rape sobre el suelo"

[María José]

Originally Posted by chileno

Maria Jose, ¿tienes esto mismo pero la version que se aplica al español?

No, sorry. Only the English one.