Could someone please check this?

[slashwut]

Good evening. If someone please could check this it'd be greatly appreciated. You don't have to explain thoroughly (why is wrong, etc) but if you just could tell me what's a better way of writing it.

It's quite urgent as my assessment is due tomorrow. Unfortunately I couldn't get my teacher to go through it, as I've been ill and not in school.

We were supposed to write about one bad and one good memory from our childhood.


Cuando yo un niño me imaginaba una gran vida como un era un jugador, pero la vida no es tan fácil. Extraña este parte de mi vida; toda era más fácil. Hoy en día todo es mucho más difícil: Tengo que ser responsable; tengo que ganar mi propio dinero; tengo que estudiar español. Me acuerdo un recuerdo que represente mi infancia:



Era cuando mi familia y yo visitamos las islas canarias. Porque era (todavía soy) un hijo único mimado, yo decidí todo y un día íbamos a una cueva famosa, pero yo preferí ir a la playa. Fuimos en un autobús con otros turistas, y yo dije a mi madre :”Quiero ir a la playa”. Al principio mis padres no quisieron, pero después de un rato dijeron: “OK”. Mi madre preguntó el conductor si podía detener el bus? El autobús nos dejaba y nosotros volvimos a la playa en un taxi. El resto del día pasamos en la playa y yo fui muy contento.


No es un “grande” o importante recuerdo, pero es un recuerdo típico que represente mi infancia bastante bien.


Un mal recuerdo de mi infancia es cuando mi familia y yo visitamos Legoland, en Dinamarca. Yo estaba conduciendo un auto de LEGO. La persona detrás de mí de repente pitó. Tenía muy miedo, y yo oriné en los pantalones. Fue muy embarazoso.




Thank you in advance.
/Sweden

[bobjenkins]

Originally Posted by slashwut

Good evening. If someone please could check this it'd be greatly appreciated. You don't have to explain thoroughly (why is wrong, etc) but if you just could tell me what's a better way of writing it.

It's quite urgent as my assessment is due tomorrow. Unfortunately I couldn't get my teacher to go through it, as I've been ill and not in school.

We were supposed to write about one bad and one good memory from our childhood.


Cuando [yo] ["yo" is usually optional so it is omitted] [you need to use a verb here (ser)] un niño me imaginaba una gran vida como un era un jugador [I´m not sure what you are saying here], pero la vida no es tan fácil. Extraña este parte de mi vida; todo era más fácil. Hoy en día todo es mucho más difícil: Tengo que ser responsable; tengo que ganar mi propio dinero; tengo que estudiar español. [It will sound better if you write it like this, "tengo que ser responsable, ganar mi propio dinero, y estudiar...] Me acuerdo un recuerdo que represente [conjugated incorrectly, representar - third person singular] mi infancia:



Era cuando mi familia y yo visitamos las islas canarias [need to capitilize here]. Porque era (todavía soy) un hijo único mimado, [yo] decidí todo y un día íbamos a una cueva famosa, pero [yo] preferí ir a la playa. Fuimos en un autobús con otras turistas [check that your adjetivos agree with nouns], y yo dije a mi madre :”Quiero ir a la playa”. Al principio mis padres no quisieron, pero después de un rato dijeron: “OK”. Mi madre preguntó [need something here when saying the conductor *hint* it´s only used with people] el conductor si podía detener el bus? El autobús nos dejaba y nosotros volvimos a la playa en un taxi. El resto del día pasamos en la playa y [yo] fui muy contento.


No es un “grande” o importante recuerdo, pero es un recuerdo típico que represente [same error as last time with representar] mi infancia bastante bien.


Un mal recuerdo de mi infancia es cuando mi familia y yo visitamos Legoland, en Dinamarca. Yo estaba conduciendo un auto de LEGO. La persona detrás de mí de repente pitó. Tenía muy [muy is wrong, "I had very fear" or "I had much fear"] miedo, y [yo] oriné en los pantalones. Fue muy embarazoso.




Thank you in advance.
/Sweden

Espero que te sirva . Si tienes preguntas , pídame

[hermit]

Right, bobjenkins,

Slashwut, How long studying Spanish?

Your translations are quite readable...

[slashwut]

Thanks a lot.
I must have copied the wrong version from word, as I've already fixed the two first errors (as I was correcting it myself).

It is greatly appreciated bobjenkins. People like you really deserve to an eloge.
Do you mind explaining when to omit "yo" and when not to. We really never been taught more than that it's optional.

Actually, when my teacher corrected my last piece of work she corrected otras turistas to otros turistas (claiming that otras turistas would only refer to female tourists), unfortunately I didn't ask her more about this. But when googling on "otras turistas" and "otros turistas" I get 573 respectively 15800 hits.

Actually #2, "Extraña este parte de mi vida, todo era más fácil". Why?

Thank you, once again.

Hermit, 6 years

[bobjenkins]

Originally Posted by slashwut

Thanks a lot.
I must have copied the wrong version from word, as I've already fixed the two first errors (as I was correcting it myself).

It is greatly appreciated bobjenkins. People like you really deserve to an eloge.
Do you mind explaining when to omit "yo" and when not to. We really never been taught more than that it's optional.

Actually, when my teacher corrected my last piece of work she corrected otras turistas to otros turistas (claiming that otras turistas would only refer to female tourists), unfortunately I didn't ask her more about this. But when googling on "otras turistas" and "otros turistas" I get 573 respectively 15800 hits.

Actually #2, "Extraña este parte de mi vida, todo era más fácil". Why?

Thank you, once again.

Hermit, 6 years

hola , sorry your ´re right about otros turistas.
There are alot of words in Spanish that end in "ista" that can be masculine or femenine
Deportista is an example

Actually #2, "Extraña este parte de mi vida, todo era más fácil". Why?

Actually it matters what you what you were trying to say.. because I think you may have translated it wrong. can you tell me what you meant to say and I can help more?

"yo" is omitted when it´s not needed, (in nearly all cases when the verb is conjugated in the first person, "yo " is excluded, except to add emphasis [exluding some tenses in which the first person conjugated is identical to the third person conjugated, like the imperfect, subjuntive, etc.]

for instance everyone will understand if you say...

Tengo un perro
Estoy casado

An example with the imperfect..
"Estaba cansado" could mean "he was tired" or "I was tired". so one would say
Yo estaba cansado

[slashwut]

Thanks Bobjenkins


Well looking into it now extraña should be extraño, (I'll blaim it on a typo).

Well, I'm trying to say. "I miss this part of my life, everything was much easier"

Cheers for your help, it's appreciated

[bobjenkins]

Originally Posted by slashwut

Thanks Bobjenkins


Well looking into it now extraña should be extraño, (I'll blaim it on a typo).

Well, I'm trying to say. "I miss this part of my life, everything was much easier"

Cheers for your help, it's appreciated

The difference I was thinking would be..

I miss that part of my life, it was much easier
Extraño esa parte de mi vida, toda [referring to "la parte de la vida"] era mucho más fácil.


I miss that part of my life, everything was much easier
Extraño esa parte de mi vida, todo [referring to everything] era mucho más fácil.


[Extraña esa parte de mi vida = Strange, that part of my life]

PD, "Parte" is femenine [la parte]

Espero que le venga bien esa tarea a tu maestra

[xchic]

Originally Posted by slashwut

Thanks Bobjenkins


Well looking into it now extraña should be extraño, (I'll blaim it on a typo).

Well, I'm trying to say. "I miss this part of my life, everything was much easier"

Cheers for your help, it's appreciated

I have never seen/heard extraño to mean I miss

I miss = Echo de menos

this part = esta parte (esa = that)

so I would say Echo de menos esta parte de mi vida

[bobjenkins]

Originally Posted by xchic

I have never seen/heard extraño to mean I miss

I miss = Echo de menos

this part = esta parte (esa = that)

so I would say Echo de menos esta parte de mi vida

He visto , te extraño , asumo que se puede usarlo así

[xchic]

Originally Posted by bobjenkins

He visto , te extraño , asumo que se puede usarlo así

I haven't heard it used that way before

Of course that doesn't mean it can't be.................................