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Would someone please check my sentences?

 

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  #1  
Old November 02, 2008, 06:03 PM
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Would someone please check my sentences?

Today Jane had a guest in her house.
Hoy Jane tenia una visita en su casa.

Her friend, Sue, dropped by to see her while on her way to work.
Su amiga, Sue, pasó por casa para que ella la podria ver mientras estaba de camino al trabajo.

After Sue had arrived, she said to Jane, "You keep your house very neat these days."
Después de Sue hubo llegado, ella le dijé a Jane, " Tu mantienes su casa muy arreglada estos dias."

"That is because my son and his wife no longer live here. They both were slobs and probably still are." Replied Jane.
Eso es porque mi hijo y su esposa ya no viven aqui. Ellos ambos estaban desalinados y es probable que ellos estén aún." Jane respondió.

"Where is your son now?" Her friend asked her.
Adónde está su hijo ahora?" Su amiga le preguntó.

Jane laughed and said with much sarcasm, "He has moved to Florida.
Jane reó y dijo con mucho sarcasmo, "Él ha mudado a Florida.

HIs wife forced him to go. This harsh climate did not suit her.
Su esposa lo obligo a ir. Este clima riguroso no estaba apropiado para ella.
Este clima aspero no estaba no lo bastante
bueno para ella.
If she can not keep her suntan year around, she believes that she looks like death.
Si ella no pueda mantener su bronceado todo el año, ella cree que se parece a muerto.

In my opinion, her death pallor matches her lackluster personality.
Para mi, su mascarilla/palidez de muerte es iquala a su falta de personalidad.






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  #2  
Old November 02, 2008, 06:53 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cmon View Post
Today Jane had a guest in her house.
Hoy Jane tenia una visita en su casa.

Her friend, Sue, dropped by to see her while on her way to work.
Su amiga, Sue, pasó por casa para que ella la podria ver mientras estaba de camino al trabajo.

After Sue had arrived, she said to Jane, "You keep your house very neat these days."
Después de Sue hubo llegado, ella le dijé a Jane, " Tu mantienes su casa muy arreglada estos dias."

"That is because my son and his wife no longer live here. They both were slobs and probably still are." Replied Jane.
Eso es porque mi hijo y su esposa ya no viven aqui. Ellos ambos estaban desalinados y es probable que ellos estén aún." Jane respondió.

"Where is your son now?" Her friend asked her.
Adónde está su hijo ahora?" Su amiga le preguntó.

Jane laughed and said with much sarcasm, "He has moved to Florida.
Jane reó y dijo con mucho sarcasmo, "Él ha mudado a Florida.

HIs wife forced him to go. This harsh climate did not suit her.
Su esposa lo obligo a ir. Este clima riguroso no estaba apropiado para ella.
Este clima aspero no estaba no lo bastante
bueno para ella.
If she can not keep her suntan year around, she believes that she looks like death.
Si ella no pueda mantener su bronceado todo el año, ella cree que se parece a muerto.

In my opinion, her death pallor matches her lackluster personality.
Para mi, su mascarilla/palidez de muerte es iquala a su falta de personalidad.





Your Spanish is better than mine!! ^_^ I think for the 4th sentence "Jane respondió" should be before the stuff she says. ...I don't know...
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  #3  
Old November 02, 2008, 07:27 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cmon View Post
Today Jane had a guest in her house.
Hoy Jane tuvo una visitada en su casa.

Her friend, Sue, dropped by to see her while on her way to work.
Su amiga, Sue, pasó por casa para que ella la podria verle mientras estaba en camino al trabajo.

After Sue had arrived, she said to Jane, "You keep your house very neat these days."
Después de haber llegado, Sue le dijo a Jane, "(Tú) mantienes tu casa muy arreglada estos días."

"That is because my son and his wife no longer live here. They both were slobs and probably still are." Replied Jane.
"(Eso) Es porque mi hijo y su esposa ya no viven aquí. Ellos Ambos eran marranos (desaliñados) y es probable que (ellos) aún lo sean," Jane respondió.

"Where is your son now?" Her friend asked her.
¿Dónde está tu hijo ahora?" su amiga le preguntó.

Jane laughed and said with much sarcasm, "He has moved to Florida.
Jane se rió y dijo con mucho sarcasmo, "Él se ha mudado a Florida.

His wife forced him to go. This harsh climate did not suit her.
Su esposa lo obligó a ir. Este clima riguroso no fue para ella.

If she can not keep her suntan year around, she believes that she looks like death.
Si (ella) no puede mantener un bronceado todo el año, (ella) cree que se parece muerta.

In my opinion, her death pallor matches her lackluster personality.
Para mí, su palidez de la muerte corresponde con su falta de personalidad.
Welcome to the forums! ¡Bienvenida!

My suggestions are in purple. I'm sure other suggestions/corrections will be given.

You can use the 'Accents' drop-down menu to access accented vowels and the like.

Last edited by Rusty; November 02, 2008 at 07:35 PM.
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  #4  
Old November 03, 2008, 06:32 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cmon View Post
Today Jane had a guest in her house.
Hoy Jane tuvo una visita en casa.

Her friend, Sue, dropped by to see her while on her way to work.
Su amiga, Sue, pasó a verla de camino al trabajo.

After Sue had arrived, she said to Jane, "You keep your house very neat these days."
Después de haber llegado, Sue le dijo a Jane, " Mantienes tu casa muy arreglada estos dias."

"That is because my son and his wife no longer live here. They both were slobs and probably still are." Replied Jane.
Es porque mi hijo y su esposa ya no viven aqui. Ambos eran desordenados y probablemente aún lo sean." Respondió Jane.

"Where is your son now?" Her friend asked her.
¿Dónde está tu hijo ahora?" Le preguntó su amiga.

Jane laughed and said with much sarcasm, "He has moved to Florida.
Jane se rió y dijo con mucho sarcasmo, "Se ha mudado a Florida.

HIs wife forced him to go. This harsh climate did not suit her.
Su esposa lo obligo a ir. Este clima riguroso no le iba (no le sentaba) bien a ella.

If she can not keep her suntan year around, she believes that she looks like death.
Si no puede mantener el bronceado todo el año, cree que parece un muerto.

In my opinion, her death pallor matches her lackluster personality.
Para mi, su palidez de muerte casa con su falta de personalidad.





A ver si esto ayuda.
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Last edited by sibdx01; November 03, 2008 at 10:29 AM.
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Old November 03, 2008, 07:24 AM
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guess I'm wrong .... ohh I'm so bad
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  #6  
Old November 03, 2008, 07:28 AM
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Welcome cmon, I hope the translations help you!
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Old November 03, 2008, 08:37 AM
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Today Jane had a guest in her house.
Hoy Jane tuvo una visita en casa.

No se tienen visitas en la calle. 'En casa' resulta obvio



Jane tuvo gente hoy (en casa).
Habia gente hoy en casa de Jane

Her friend, Sue, dropped by to see her while on her way to work.
Su amiga, Sue, pasó a verla de camino al trabajo.



Sue, que es amiga suya/su amiga, se pasó por su casa antes del trabajo.


After Sue had arrived, she said to Jane, "You keep your house very neat these days."
Después haber llagado, Sue le dijo a Jane, " Mantienes tu casa muy arreglada estos dias."

Aqui no hablo de 2 cents, hay un typo:

Al (/tras/al rato de) llegar,
Despues de haber llegado,

Sue le dijo que tenia la casa como los chorros del oro.


"That is because my son and his wife no longer live here. They both were slobs and probably still are." Replied Jane.
Es porque mi hijo y su esposa ya no viven aqui. Ambos eran desordenados y probablemente aún lo sean." Respondió Jane.

Es porque mi hijo y mi nuera se fueron. Eran un desastre, y seguro que todavia lo son.


"Where is your son now?" Her friend asked her.
¿Dónde está tu hijo ahora?" Le preguntó su amiga.

Sue le preguntó por su hijo


Jane laughed and said with much sarcasm, "He has moved to Florida.
Jane se rió y dijo con mucho sarcasmo, "Se ha mudado a Florida.
Su esposa lo obligo a ir. Este clima riguroso no le iba bien a ella.
Si no puede mantener el bronceado todo el año, cree que parece un muerto.
Para mi, su palidez de muerte casa con su falta de personalidad.

Jane se rio y dijo con ironía / irónicamente 'Ahora vive en (la) Florida, se fue porque a la mujer le venia largo tanto frio. Ella, si no está todo el año negra como un tizón, se cree que parece un muerto. Eso de estar tan blanquita es de ser poca cosa.

Sorry for my acentos This sounds much much more natural. I find English more prone to reported speech than Spanish, and Spanish more prone to chain clauses and not keep everything that orderly.
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Old November 03, 2008, 10:42 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jchen View Post
guess I'm wrong .... ohh I'm so bad
Todo se entiende perfectamente, pero tanto P.H. como yo, intentamos dar un paso más y hacer una traducción más cercana a como se habla en español "estandar".

Y abundando en lo que dice PH... el Inglés es más "lógico" y el Español más "expresivo".

Por ejemplo:
En español no necesitamos poner "ella" en cada frase, queda explícito por el género.
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Old November 03, 2008, 10:57 AM
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I see that all you have beat me, I wanted answer his questions but I believe that you have made it quickly, good anyway I hope that the answers of my friends can helps help you.
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Old November 03, 2008, 11:08 AM
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Thanks to all........

Forums make learning fun! And thanks for mentioning the accent drop-down menu, never noticed it before.
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