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¿Qué hice en la fiesta de ayer?

 

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  #1  
Old June 18, 2013, 02:47 PM
Liquinn3 Liquinn3 is offline
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¿Qué hice en la fiesta de ayer?

¿Qué hice en la fiesta de ayer?
Bueno, fui a casa de mis amigos ayer, donde estuvimos hablando en inglés y español ya que mis amigos están estudiado español. Estoy muy feliz debido a esto. Por la tarde mis amigos y yo bebimos Coca-Cola. Ahora tienes que darte cuenta de que me encantan las fiestas. Me baso en lo que pasó ayer, en la fiesta. A las 6 de la tarde le expliqué a mi amiga Emma que quería masaje en los pies.

Estaba descalzo. Mi amiga me dio un masaje en los pies durante 10 minutos. Tengo la impresión de que mi amiga le gustan mis pies. No sé por qué. A mí me gustan los pies de Emma porque son grandes. Bebí un vaso de Coca-Cola después el masaje. Emma bebió agua.

Last edited by Rusty; June 18, 2013 at 06:44 PM. Reason: removed formatting
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  #2  
Old June 19, 2013, 04:38 PM
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Rusty Rusty is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Liquinn3 View Post
¿Qué hice en la fiesta de ayer? Note the person. In the narrative, you have switched persons. Either change the person there, or the person here, so that they agree.
Bueno, fui a casa de mis amigos ayer, donde estuvimos hablando en inglés y español ya que mis amigos están estudiado español. (The progressive tense is overused by English speakers. Try the preterit tense instead for the talking, because it had a beginning and an ending. Try the present tense for the studying, because they are learning. By the way, you had a typo in 'estudiando'.)
Estoy muy feliz debido a esto.
Por la tarde mis amigos y yo bebimos Coca-Cola. (¿Todos tomaron el mismo refresco?)
Ahora tienes que darte cuenta de que me encantan las fiestas. (Note the person. In the question (subtitle), you are using another person. The person here must match the person there.)
Me baso en lo que pasó ayer, en la fiesta.
A las 6 de la tarde le expliqué a mi amiga Emma que quería un masaje en los pies.

Estaba descalzo.
Mi amiga me dio un masaje en los pies por/durante 10 minutos.
Tengo la impresión de que () mi amiga le gustan mis pies. (You're missing a preposition.)
No sé por qué.
A mí me gustan los pies de Emma porque son grandes.
Bebí un vaso de Coca-Cola después ()el masaje. (You're missing the other half of the preposition.)
Emma bebió agua.
I've marked what needs changed and have given some clues.

I've noticed that you're getting help elsewhere and relying on some of that help to make changes to what you originally posted here in this forum. That's good, because many problems were corrected. That's bad, because you aren't learning as you should. By just copying corrections, you are cheating yourself out of a chance to learn for yourself what is wrong. In the other sites your corrections come without explanations, and you didn't bother to ask why the corrections were given. We learn by making mistakes, having someone show us our mistakes and learning the reason behind the mistake so we are less likely to repeat it. Don't cheat yourself out of a good learning experience.
Just some friendly advice.
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Old June 20, 2013, 05:35 AM
Liquinn3 Liquinn3 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rusty View Post
I've marked what needs changed and have given some clues.

I've noticed that you're getting help elsewhere and relying on some of that help to make changes to what you originally posted here in this forum. That's good, because many problems were corrected. That's bad, because you aren't learning as you should. By just copying corrections, you are cheating yourself out of a chance to learn for yourself what is wrong. In the other sites your corrections come without explanations, and you didn't bother to ask why the corrections were given. We learn by making mistakes, having someone show us our mistakes and learning the reason behind the mistake so we are less likely to repeat it. Don't cheat yourself out of a good learning experience.
Just some friendly advice.
True. I agree. Question; would it be best to name this: ¿Qué hiciste en la fiesta de ayer?

Changes made.

¿Qué hiciste en la fiesta de ayer?
Bueno, fui a casa de mis amigos ayer,
donde hablamos en inglés y español, ya que mis amigos estudiamos español. Estoy muy feliz debido a esto. Por la tarde mis amigos y yo bebimos Coca-Cola. Ahora tienes que darte cuenta de que me encantan las fiestas. Me baso en lo que pasó ayer, en la fiesta. A las 6 de la tarde le expliqué a mi amiga Emma que quería un masaje en los pies.

Estaba descalzo.Mi amiga me dio un masaje en los pies durante 10 minutos. Tengo la impresión de que a mi amiga le gustan mis pies. No sé por qué. A me gustan los pies de Emma porque son grandes. Bebí un vaso de Coca-Cola después del masaje. Emma bebió agua.


Also is an accent required/needed for "donde"? I think it is required. But I thought I'd ask to be sure.

I notice "hablamos" and "estudiamos" are the same in the present and the preterite (in the Nosotros form). Why is this?
How would the reader know which tense I'm trying to use in the writing? Would they know from the context?

Do you want me to post up all the corrections? Thanks. :P

Last edited by Liquinn3; June 20, 2013 at 11:10 AM.
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Old June 20, 2013, 07:51 PM
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The changes are correct. Good job!
The word 'donde' requires an accent mark when used as an interrogative. Your usage does not require an accent mark.

The verbs that are identical in written form in the different tenses aren't confused in context. Context plays a LARGE role in speech. That's why its important to include the context when a question comes up about the meaning of a word, or even a phrase. There are very few words that only have one meaning.
Without context, we wouldn't know the difference between 'read' (present tense) and 'read' (past tense). There would be no joke in '"I see," said the blind man, as he picked up his hammer and saw.'
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Old June 21, 2013, 11:06 AM
Liquinn3 Liquinn3 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rusty View Post
The changes are correct. Good job!
The word 'donde' requires an accent mark when used as an interrogative. Your usage does not require an accent mark.

The verbs that are identical in written form in the different tenses aren't confused in context. Context plays a LARGE role in speech. That's why its important to include the context when a question comes up about the meaning of a word, or even a phrase. There are very few words that only have one meaning.
Without context, we wouldn't know the difference between 'read' (present tense) and 'read' (past tense). There would be no joke in '"I see," said the blind man, as he picked up his hammer and saw.'
Thanks for the clarification. Also I'd like to say thanks for taking your time to mark my writing.

I like how you give very detailed feedback and what you said to me over PM is true. I am making good progress. Just need more things to write about now. :P
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