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Please check my short paragraph

 

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  #1  
Old December 31, 2015, 03:58 AM
Yoodle15 Yoodle15 is offline
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Do you spot any errors or awkward phrasings? Gracias por adelantado por su ayuda.

"Los libros de Harry Potter ejercieron una gran influencia sobre mi niñez y yo siempre recordaré el personaje de Albus Dumbledore, el director de Hogwarts, como un pedagogo modelo. Él se asegura de que el aprendizaje se realiza so solamente dentro sino también fuera del aula. Cada conversación que tiene Harry con Dumbledore es una oportunidad para aprender algo nuevo, ya sea sobre la historia, las relaciones entre los magos y los “muggles” (desde una perspectiva antropológica, estes “muggles” representan al “Otro” cultural) o el arte de vivir con sabiduría. Al mismo tiempo que advierte Harry sobre el peligro del orgullo y de no hacer caso de la dimensión ética de toda situación, Dumbledore confía en él para tomar sus propias decisiones. En otras palabras, lo guía y le avisa pero al fin y al cabo quiere que el joven mago asuma su independencia."

Last edited by Rusty; December 31, 2015 at 07:33 AM. Reason: added edits
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  #2  
Old December 31, 2015, 08:17 AM
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AngelicaDeAlquezar AngelicaDeAlquezar is offline
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Very good job.

Here are some hints for improvement.

Quote:
Él se asegura de que el aprendizaje se realiza so (Check typo) solamente dentro sino también fuera del aula.

(desde una perspectiva antropológica, estes (Is this a typo or a vocabulary mistake?) “muggles” representan al “Otro” cultural)

En otras palabras, lo guía y le avisa (I think you're confusing this verb for another; "advise" is another word in Spanish) pero al fin y al cabo quiere que el joven mago asuma su independencia."
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  #3  
Old December 31, 2015, 08:44 AM
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Rusty Rusty is offline
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In addition, just prior to the first typo, the subjunctive mood should be used.
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Old December 31, 2015, 09:06 AM
Yoodle15 Yoodle15 is offline
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Thank you so much, both Angelica and Rusty!!! Angelica, it was a vocabulary mistake, I thought for a moment that it's "este v/s esta" instead of "esto v/s esta" :S

is "lo guía y le aconseja" good?
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  #5  
Old December 31, 2015, 09:30 AM
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Rusty Rusty is offline
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Actually, the plural of este, which is what you should use, is estos.

Last edited by Rusty; December 31, 2015 at 09:34 AM.
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Old December 31, 2015, 04:01 PM
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AngelicaDeAlquezar AngelicaDeAlquezar is offline
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I agree with Rusty.

Added note: There are two ways to construct the verb "aconsejar":
If you use an indirect object pronoun for Harry ("le"), then you must specify what advise he is being told.
If you use a direct object pronoun for Harry ("lo"), then you are saying he is being told what is best for him.
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Old January 01, 2016, 09:45 AM
Yoodle15 Yoodle15 is offline
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Thank you again, Angelica! So, "lo aconseja" without anything specific (about what he is being told) following?
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Old January 01, 2016, 03:32 PM
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AngelicaDeAlquezar AngelicaDeAlquezar is offline
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Correct.
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