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  #1  
Old July 18, 2020, 10:32 PM
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Please Help With My Translation Attempt

I am getting lost in my attempt to translate this sentence. Would someone be so kind as to correct it for me, staying as tight to the English translation as possible.

The unforeseen storm lashed/pounded Puerto Rico and its unsuspecting/off-guard inhabitants with such force that it left the island completely devoid of foliage and its citizens in a state of shock.

My attempt:

La tormenta imprevista azotó a Puerto Rico y a sus habitantes desprevenidos con tal fuerza que dejó a la isla completamente desprovista de follaje y a sus ciudadanos en estado de shock.

Please also focus on whether it's:

"y a sus habitantes" or "y sus habitantes"
"dejó a la isla" or "dejó la isla"


All corrections and explanations are appreciated.
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  #2  
Old July 18, 2020, 11:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobbert View Post
La tormenta imprevista azotó a Puerto Rico y a sus habitantes desprevenidos con tal fuerza que dejó a la isla completamente desprovista de follaje y a sus ciudadanos en estado de shock.
Above you will find notes on the two things you mentioned as needing focus. The personal 'a' goes with the person.

The word 'shock' is an English loanword. It certainly looks well accepted in Spanish media, but you may want to use the Spanish word choque in this context.
Una tormenta inesperada might fit better. I would also suggest con tanta fuerza and despojada de follaje (completamente is overkill if my suggestion isn't ruled out).

I'll defer to a native speaker to make suggestions.
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  #3  
Old July 19, 2020, 07:42 PM
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Thank you, Rusty, for clearing up those focus areas that I pointed out.
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