A poem about dancing and fleeting recollection

[SillyDog]

I am neither native English nor Spanish, but I would love if someone would take the time to help me with the Spanish version of this little poem.

It is about memory, love, the disintegration of things we though we could hold onto in hour hearts and minds. It is about a dancer, about Andalucía:

Yo tengo un pensamiento vagabundo
Caminando en el aire
Tiempo se volvió y se desintegró
Caminando, vagabundo errante
Sin un punto de apoyo

Caminar de lado
La búsqueda de equilibrio en una pared
Horisont baile
Un mundo loco, al revés
Los gatos y las gaviotas están luchando de nuevo

Sentimientos bellos
Las heridas pequeñas, como las flores
Pequeñas sonrisas, pequeña horizontal
Diminutos puentes a momentos
Que dio la vuelta en el aire


I have a wandering thought
Wandering on air
Time whirled up and disintegrated
Walking, errant vagabond
Without foothold

Walking sideways
Finding balance on a wall
Dancing horisont
A mad world, upside down
The cats and the seagulls are fighting again

Beautiful sentiments
Small wounds, like flowers
Small smiles, tiny horisonts
tiny bridges to moments
that whirled up into the air

EDIT: Cannot edit the typo in the title, but hopefully people can see past that.

[Rusty]

I fixed your typo in the thread title.

We need some help with 'horisont', 'horisonts' and 'horizontal'. The first is neither English nor Spanish, ditto for the second, and although the last one can appear in both English and Spanish, it isn't a translation of 'horisonts'.

The English horizon is horizonte in Spanish. For the plural, add an 's' in both languages.

Where adjectives are used in English, like where 'whirled up and disintegrated' appear after the noun 'time', you should use adjectives in Spanish to convey the same idea.


'Dancing' is a present participle and a gerund in English (what is called a gerund in English grammar is equivalent to the Spanish infinitive, and both act as nouns). Neither of these forms can be translated as 'baile', which is the noun for 'dance'.
The English 'dancing horizon' consists of two nouns, the first modifying the second (and technically called an adjunct). When that happens in English, the most common Spanish translation switches the words around and inserts 'de' in between.

Some may translate 'dancing horizon' as 'horizonte de baile', but I think that 'dance horizon' is the better translation of that phrase.
Other than that, I would use 'un horizonte que baila' or perhaps 'horizonte bailante' will work here.
Wait for a native.

[SillyDog]

Thank you for the input, I like the sound of this "horizonte bailante". Great with all the feedback.

Yo tengo un pensamiento vagabundo
Caminando en el aire
Tiempo se volvió y se desintegró
Caminando, vagabundo errante
Sin un punto de apoyo

Caminar de lado
La búsqueda de equilibrio en una pared
Horizonte bailante
Un mundo loco, al revés
Los gatos y las gaviotas están luchando de nuevo

Sentimientos bellos
Las heridas pequeñas, como las flores
Pequeñas sonrisas, pequeña horizontal
Diminutos puentes a momentos
Que dio la vuelta en el aire

[Rusty]

There are still several things to fix.

Verbs still appear where adjectives belong.
You are missing articles here and there.
The phrase 'puentes diminutos' may be better.
After 'puentes diminutos', I would insert 'que dan' before 'a momentos', and then fix the verb 'dio', which doesn't agree in number with the subject.
There are other things that I would fix, but I don't have the time to list them. Perhaps a native speaker will point them out before I return.

[SillyDog]

Yo tengo un pensamiento vagabundo
Caminando en el aire
Tiempo se volvió y se desintegró
Caminando, vagabundo errante
Sin un punto de apoyo

Caminar de lado
La búsqueda de equilibrio en una pared
Horizonte bailante
Un mundo loco, al revés
Los gatos y las gaviotas están luchando de nuevo

Sentimientos bellos
Las heridas pequeñas, como las flores
Pequeñas sonrisas, pequeña horizontal
Puentes diminutos que dan momentos
Que dio la vuelta en el aire

[SillyDog]

Maybe someone can help me with this one sentence:

Time was whirled up, was disintegrated = El tiempo se giró, se desintegró


Yo tengo un pensamiento vagabundo
Caminando en el aire
El tiempo se giró, se desintegró
Caminando, vagabundo errante
Sin un punto de apoyo

[SillyDog]

I have been working some more with it. I think it should be pretty close now. If anyone has the time and the skills to help, I would be very pleased.


Yo tengo un pensamiento vagabundo
Caminando en el aire
Tiempo se da vueltas y se desintegró
Caminando, vagabundo errante
Sin un punto de apoyo

Camino de lado
Busco de equilibrio en una pared
Horizonte baila
Un mundo loco, al revés
Los gatos y las gaviotas están luchando de nuevo

Sentimientos bellos
Las heridas pequeñas, como las flores
Pequeñas sonrisas, pequeña horizontes
Puentes diminutos que dan momentos
Que dio la vuelta en el aire