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Formal Southamerican Spanish-please help to check text

 

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  #1  
Old October 13, 2018, 07:56 AM
gedi gedi is offline
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Formal Southamerican Spanish-please help to check text

Hi guys.
Anybody able to help me to check the text for a formal letter?
Many thanks!

Hola a todos, me gustaría expresar mi gran admiración por esta clínica. Yo y mi familia siempre me he sentido mucho cuidado de una manera muy profesional. Sin embargo, estoy profundamente decepcionado por el cambio de las normas. Familia y nuestros hijos es una parte importante de nuestra sociedad. Ahora, con el más profundo pesar me informaron de que estas normas no se mantienen por su hospital. Realmente no puedo entender cómo la clínica puede una mujer que tuvo una familia aparte, que llevó a los niños a su padre a trabajar para usted? Realmente no tenía la opinión más alto del Dr. M. Por desgracia esto no va junto con mis normas y comprensión de la responsabilidad de una familia y los niños. Que puedo y no dejará de asistir a su clínica o lo recomendaría.
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  #2  
Old October 13, 2018, 09:58 AM
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Hi!

There are several issues with the letter you've written. Correcting it outright wouldn't help you to learn anything, which is the goal here in our Spanish-learning forum.

There are parts of your letter that don't make sense. It would be helpful if you provided some missing content before we can provide assistance. The English version would also be nice to have.

Thanks!

~~
... puede una mujer
Que puedo y ...
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  #3  
Old October 13, 2018, 04:44 PM
gedi gedi is offline
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Hello. Many thanks for your answer.
I wanted to basically say that I am not happy/conform with the standards of the hospital.
The hospital allows a woman to work for them who is responsible for a split up
of a doctor from his family and the children are left behind with no father. I can not support this as it does not goes along with my beliefs. So I want to say I will mit longer attend this hospital.
Dear all,

I would like to epress my admiration for this clinic. Me and my family have always felt very much cared for in a very professional way. However I am deeply disappointed about the change of standards. Family and our children is one of the most important parts of our society.

Now with the deepest regret I was informed that these standards are not kept by your hospital.

I really can not understand how the your clinic can allow a woman to work for you, who took a family apart, who took the children their father? And now even worse is working for you.

I really had the highest opinion of Dr and his skills. Unfortunately this does not go along with my standards and understanding of responsibility for a family and children. I can and will not longer attend your clinic or recommend it.

Many thanks for your help!

Last edited by Rusty; October 13, 2018 at 06:02 PM. Reason: merged back-to-back posts
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  #4  
Old October 13, 2018, 10:57 PM
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I'm still trying to piece things together.

It sounds like you have a problem with a woman who stole the heart of a doctor who has a wife and children. The doctor decided to start a new life with this woman and left his wife and children. Please verify.

You're switching between hospital and clinic, like they're the same thing. Since I perceive a difference, please state which word is in play.

You said the woman is allowed to work at the place where the doctor practices. That could be the doctor's decision or it could be the clinic's. What is their practice?
It's uncertain in your narrative whether the woman was already employed at the same place prior to the events in question. It may be that she was hired on after that time.
Which is it, and who was responsible for hiring her?

Next, I'm trying to figure out how the actions of these two people affected the standards of the clinic. Are you asserting that the clinic has changed its policies, or are you saying that moral standards have changed in the clinic? I wouldn't think clinic policies have been rewritten just to exonerate the actions of two people working there. Please verify.

If you are disappointed with two people who work together at the clinic, that's one thing. If you believe the clinic has lowered their standards, out of feeling obligated to do so because the doctor is in charge, that's another thing. And yet another is believing that standards of the people at the clinic were higher before the event.

Other people's standards (very much a personal thing) will not always reflect yours.
Lowered standards are not the same thing as rewritten policies.


It seems OK to praise the clinic, stating that you and your family were well cared for.
It also seems OK to express your opinion about the importance of the family in society.

It is also OK for you to express your opinion of the doctor and give that as the reason you won't recommend others to seek his help.
I'm thinking, though, that condemning everyone at the clinic is not warranted, unless all have said they have been asked to adopt a lower moral standard or be fired.

I am trying to understand.
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  #5  
Old October 17, 2018, 06:14 PM
gedi gedi is offline
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Hey. Many thanks I will answer you shortly
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  #6  
Old Yesterday, 08:31 AM
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Hello!
Many thanks again for your long answer.
`It sounds like you have a problem with a woman who stole the heart of a doctor who has a wife and children. The doctor decided to start a new life with this woman and left his wife and children.`
.......Thats correct.
It is a hospital and I assume he helped her to get a job at the hospital. She was not working there before.
I think in the public sector, eg a hospital does carry responsibility towards the society as role model as well as the members of staff.
Especially if children are involved. Apart from this they should not suffer and left behind.
I don't think there are policies in place but it is about moral and integrity.
I am aware other people may have different standards, but the majority of people here believe in family and wellbeing of children.
However these are my values and for me it is wrong...Yes of course I am disappointed and I do think this practice reflects a low standard/moral.
I know that may not present all peoples standards, but mine and this is why I want to write this letter and address this concern to the hospital and inform them about my consequences.
I am not blaming everyone, but with my letter I would like to express my position and rise awareness and I hope this will change their practice.

Many thanks again
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  #7  
Old Yesterday, 12:01 PM
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i

The verb desmedir means to go too far. You may be able to incorporate that verb to express your reason. Spanish is my second language, and I suspect that I may not present you the smoothest way of stating this, but you can write something to the order of: Para mí vds se desmidieron cuando..,
y por eso no puedo seguir en su empleo.
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Old Yesterday, 03:32 PM
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I can't write the letter for you, but here are some suggestions for making it better:

Quote:
Originally Posted by gedi View Post
Hola a todos, me gustaría expresar mi gran admiración por esta clínica.
Yo y mi familia (In Spanish it's always the other person and then myself. It's rude to start with "yo" if there is another person or group of persons in the subject) siempre me he sentido mucho cuidado (this doesn't make sense, since it sounds like "I have always felt very careful". Try rewording using "siempre he sentido que..." or. Also, "cuidar" might not be the right verb, but maybe "atender", which is the usual word for medical services.) de una manera muy profesional.
Sin embargo, estoy profundamente decepcionado por el cambio de las normas (You need to say which norms have changed, since "las normas" suggests that the reader already knows exactly what you are talking about.). (***) (You need a definite article here) Familia y nuestros hijos es una parte importante de nuestra sociedad.

Ahora, con el más profundo pesar me informaron de que estas normas no se mantienen por (Although it's passive voice in English, in Spanish this "por" sounds strange. Try a place preposition instead.) su hospital. Realmente no puedo entender cómo la clínica puede (***) (You need a verb here) una mujer que tuvo una familia aparte, que llevó a los niños a su padre (Try rewording. This says "took the children to their father") a trabajar para usted ("Usted" is directly addressing a person, but you've been talking impersonally about the hospital, so try rewording for agreement with the rest of the letter)? Realmente no tenía la opinión más alto (This says you did not have the highest opinion of Dr. M, so be careful with that "no". Also "opinión" is feminine, but "alto" is masculine; you need gender agreement here.) del Dr. M. Por desgracia esto no va junto con mis normas y comprensión de la responsabilidad de una familia y los niños (This is a little fragmentary. Try breaking this into two short sentences so the meaning is clearer.). Que (Starting with "que" a statement is strange in Latin America. Get rid of it.) y no dejará de asistir a su clínica o lo recomendaría (Again you're stating the contrary of what you mean: you're saying that yo won't stop going to the clinic. Also, you are writing the letter in first person, but "dejará" is third person").
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  #9  
Old Yesterday, 04:04 PM
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Adding a bit more to Angelica's suggestions:
After the compound subject 'my family and I' you should use a verb that's conjugated in the plural form; the verb must agree in number with the subject.
Change 'esta clínica' to 'este hospital' (at least then the direct object pronoun 'lo' used prior to the last word, would agree in gender).
You may want to use 'moral' or 'normas éticas' once in a while.
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