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"Fair isle at sea..." by R.L.S - help wih translationIf you need help translating a sentence or longer piece of text, use this forum. For translations or definitions of a single word or idiom, use the vocabulary forum. |
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#1
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"Fair isle at sea..." by R.L.S - help wih translation
Well, I've this poem:
Fair isle at sea - thy lovely name Soft in my ear like music came. That sea I loved, and once or twice I touched at isles of Paradise. I understand it clearly but I have read one translation and... it didn't sound to accurate for me, this is: Hermosa isla- Tu amado nombre llega a mis oídos como la más suave música. Amo ese mar, y alguna vez he fondeado en las islas del Paraíso. Would you translate it that way? for example, "at sea" is ignore, "soft" as la más suave, "loved" in past and amo in present, alguna vez as "once or twice", "touched" as fondeado... I would make it something like this: (with options) Hermosa isla en el mar -Tu amado nombre viene/llega a mi/s oído/s como suave música. Ese mar que amé/he amado, y una u otra vez/una o dos veces/una que otra vez/alguna vez/alguna que otra vez/algunas veces (this is the most difficult decision) toqué/(hmm) en la islas del Paraíso. (depurate version) Hermosa isla en el mar -Tu amado nombre llega a mis oídos como suave música. Ese mar que amé, y alguna vez toqué en las islas del Paraíso. Thanks
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Please, don't hesitate to correct my English. 'Time is a sort of river of passing events, and strong is its current; no sooner is a thing brought to sight than it is swept by and another takes its place, and this too will be swept away.' M.A.
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#2
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Quote:
Es un buen poema, ya me hace que quiero ir a la isla PD . ¿es depurate español o inglés, no había encontrado ni palabras in los diccionarios adecuados
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"There´s always money in the banana stand michael!" --george bluthe sir Last edited by bobjenkins; September 26, 2009 at 03:57 AM. |
#3
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Sorry, I made a mix of Spanish and English, I wanted to say "Debuged" (Depurado in Spanish). Is debuged the standard word for this?
Thanks for the suggestions and corrections. About "fondear", the translation wanted to use that word not as anchor, but as to dive-dived (if not it has no sense with the English version) 1. tr. Reconocer el fondo del agua. Any more suggestions to my version are welcome
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Please, don't hesitate to correct my English. 'Time is a sort of river of passing events, and strong is its current; no sooner is a thing brought to sight than it is swept by and another takes its place, and this too will be swept away.' M.A.
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#4
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Quote:
Here I have a question, I understood in this phrase the following translation. Fair isle at sea - thy lovely name - La bella isla en el mar, tu amado nombre. Here in that part I'm doubtfulness because you are made another kind to translation, but surely there are another ways to give sense to the phrase, therefore I need to have clear this sentence. My question is. My example is correct?
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#5
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RLS
Ookami Yo Fair isle at sea - thy lovely name Hermosa isla en el mar -Tu amado nombre Soft in my ear like music came. llega a mis oídos como suave música. Llegó suavemente a mi oído como la música. No es necesario que sea música suave: podría ser música fuerte pero lejana. Dice dos cosas acerca de lo que oyó: que era suave, y que era melodioso. That sea I loved, and once or twice Ese mar que amé, y alguna vez ¿Por qúe "amé" y no "amaba"? Amaba ese mar, y alguna vez I touched at isles of Paradise. toqué en las islas del Paraíso. Lo toqué en islas del Paraíso. Mi intento. La tercera línea falta algo de gramática, ya lo sé. Hermosa isla en el mar Melodiosa música Oír tu nombre susurrar. Amaba tanto ese mar Que alguna vez logré tocar En islas de Elíseo. Bueno, quizás sería mejor cambiar ll2-3: El susurro de tu nombre es Melodiosa música. Last edited by pjt33; September 26, 2009 at 02:19 PM. |
#6
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Excellent pjt33, thank you a lot.
I used "amé" because it was the first one that came to my mind when reading in English. I don't understand clearly why "lo toqué" instead of "toqué". Your's is a really nice version! too free for my level to try something like that
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Please, don't hesitate to correct my English. 'Time is a sort of river of passing events, and strong is its current; no sooner is a thing brought to sight than it is swept by and another takes its place, and this too will be swept away.' M.A.
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#7
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Quote:
"You wanted me to debug the computer system so I did" Pienso que la palabra adecuada sería "revised version" Oh no lo había sabido , "to dive" no tiene sentido ahí.
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"There´s always money in the banana stand michael!" --george bluthe sir |
#8
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Debugging refers only to computer programs in English. For other uses, you can try: purify, cleanse, purge. In this case, I would say "final version", "cleaned-up version", "clean version", etc.
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If you find something wrong with my Spanish, please correct it! |
#9
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I tought that, Thanks both
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Please, don't hesitate to correct my English. 'Time is a sort of river of passing events, and strong is its current; no sooner is a thing brought to sight than it is swept by and another takes its place, and this too will be swept away.' M.A.
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#10
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Hmm. Lo tenía claro pero ahora no estoy seguro.
That sea I loved, and once or twice I touched at isles of Paradise. "That sea" es un objeto directo. ¿De cuál verbo? Lo interpretaba como "(That sea) (I loved, and once or twice I touched at isles of Paradise)" - es decir, sería el objeto de los dos verbos. Pero ahora que lo vuelvo a leer for n-enta* vez, me doy cuenta que hay una ambigüedad. ¿Es "to touch" (v. tr.) seguido por locativo: "(That sea) ((I loved), and ((once or twice) (I touched [it]) (at isles of Paradise)))"? ¿O es "to touch at" (v. tr.) seguido por objeto directo: "((That sea) (I loved)), and ((once or twice) (I touched at) (isles of Paradise))"? Los dos casos tienen sus desperfectos. En el primer caso, debe ser posible extraer "Once or twice I touched that sea at isles of Paradise", pero eso suena raro. Pero el segundo caso pone dos ideas distintas, y el conjuntivo que las separa está en mitad de una línea - eso me parece un poco demasiado moderno. Pero, bueno, para concluir: en el primer caso debes traducir el pronombre elidido; en el segundo "tocar" no es la mejor traducción, sería "alguna vez hice escala en islas del Paraíso." * ¿Se dice así "nth"? No estoy de acuerdo. Los informáticos lo usamos con bastante generalidad**, pero el populacho no lo úsa en ningún contexto. Aquí me parece que "polished" sería una traducción buena. ** http://catb.org/jargon/html/B/bug.html |
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