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Biofuel, sugarcane...can you, please, check?

 

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  #1  
Old March 15, 2011, 04:51 AM
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Biofuel, sugarcane...can you, please, check?

üHi everybody!
I'd appreciate your help to "clean"the below phrases.
Thank you for taking your time.
Regards
Jan

The biofuel production demand is becoming an increasing concern in modern society due to the need of sustainability of activities associated with the human population growth and the economic increasing demand. In this context, the sugarcane cultivation and the ethanol production, in Brazil, have been remarkable.

Studies of new genotypes development in relation to climatic changes, cultivation under water deficit and no water deficit are important.

After technology optimization in a field experiment to be installed in Campinas, we intend to further intensify this study in a typical drought-prone area to support projects on sugarcane cultivars tolerant to drought.
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  #2  
Old March 15, 2011, 09:43 AM
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This was near-perfect without making any changes really. I've mostly changed the word order in places and have injected/changed one or two prepositions.

Quote:
The biofuel production demand is becoming an increasing concern in modern society due to the need for sustainability of the activities associated with the human population growth and the increasing economic demand. In this context, the sugarcane cultivation and the ethanol production, in Brazil, have been remarkable.

Studies of new genotype developments (this is somewhat technical, so ignore me if I've changed the meaning) in relation to climatic changes, cultivation under water deficit and without water deficit are important.

After technology optimization in a field experiment to be installed in Campinas, we intend to further intensify this study in a typical drought-prone area to support projects on sugarcane cultivars tolerant to drought.
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Old March 15, 2011, 08:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jan View Post
üHi everybody!
I'd appreciate your help to "clean"the below phrases.
Thank you for taking your time.
Regards
Jan

The biofuel production demand is becoming an increasing concern in modern society due to the need of sustainability of activities associated with the human population growth and the economic increasing demand. In this context, the sugarcane cultivation and the ethanol production, in Brazil, have been remarkable.

Studies of new genotypes development in relation to climatic changes, cultivation under water deficit and no water deficit are important.

After technology optimization in a field experiment to be installed in Campinas, we intend to further intensify this study in a typical drought-prone area to support projects on sugarcane cultivars tolerant to drought.
I agree with the previous suggested changes. The first phrase in the last sentence does not read perfectly. The English is not wrong, but I think the wording/phrasing could be improved. Do you think the following sentence would work:

After optimizing the technology used in the field experiment to be installed in Campinas, ....

I think that wording may increase clarity. As was previously stated, your English was near perfect.
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