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Sometimes I feel so aloneTalk about anything here, just keep it clean. |
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#1
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Sometimes I feel so alone
I don't have any friends. okay, I do, but they aren't my real friends. It's just that I'm so shy I don't talk to anyone and nobody wants to be my partner when you get to choose a partner for some project, and last year in one of my classes the majority of the projects that were assigned I worked alone, when everyone else had partners.
During lunch this year I sit alone and eat by myself, not that I care but sometimes I wish someone would sit with me and talk. Everyone else have friends that they could talk to and get help and all that and I don't; I'm just too shy. I would feel a twinge of jealousy whenever people give little gifts to their friends or cookies or whatever. Both my brothers have friends and my little brother have friends that occasionally come over to my house. My older brother's friends don't do that, but this summer I see a lot of people really like him I just feel so lonely (sometimes) |
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#2
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Hi Jessica... I understand you. (And you actually have tons of friends in Tomisimo... and have actually a very good level of communication.)
The same principles you use here, you can use them with the people you interact (or not) out there, out of the "virtual/cybernetic" space. The key is COMMUNICATION. You can find someone that is nice or you like (him or her) and get interested on what that person likes... (his/her) REALITY. You can then start to talk about that to that person and increase your AFFINITY with him/her, by increasing your COMMUNICATION and increasing your 'REALITY' (Agreement). (I used to be very introverted myself... but you can make real friends just using good communication. You'll see you can help them and they can help you... and have fun at it.)
__________________
Lo propio de la verdad es que se basta a sí misma, aquel que la posee no intenta convencer a nadie. "An enemy is somebody who flatters you. A friend is somebody who criticizes the living daylights out of you." |
#3
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You can have many friends and fell lonely still. You are in the age where you can start felling the classical "existencial anguish" that the literature has showed quite well.
If you want to improve your comunication skills you just need to start practicing. Talk when you can, go out when you can, take a course when you can. Smile, accept, smile, accept, etc. Now, if you really want to beat that felling... the search begins now. I couldn't find my road yet. I was like you at school. Now I'm not: I can communicate in an easier way, I have some "friends" and all that stuff; but I'm so lonely that even my fantasy characters -that in the past where so much from dawn to dusk- are ghosts with no presence in my life. Alone From childhood's hour I have not been As others were; I have not seen As others saw; I could not bring My passions from a common spring. From the same source I have not taken My sorrow; I could not awaken My heart to joy at the same tone; And all I loved, I loved alone. Then- in my childhood, in the dawn Of a most stormy life- was drawn From every depth of good and ill The mystery which binds me still: From the torrent, or the fountain, From the red cliff of the mountain, From the sun that round me rolled In its autumn tint of gold, From the lightning in the sky As it passed me flying by, From the thunder and the storm, And the cloud that took the form (When the rest of Heaven was blue) Of a demon in my view. Edgar Allan Poe But well, all can be better no? If you don't try ... Btw. you have to know that there are people that like shy people.
__________________
Please, don't hesitate to correct my English. 'Time is a sort of river of passing events, and strong is its current; no sooner is a thing brought to sight than it is swept by and another takes its place, and this too will be swept away.' M.A.
Last edited by ookami; August 29, 2010 at 07:56 PM. |
#4
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Shyness can be cured. Just like in learning Spanish or anything else in life you just have to work on it. There are tons of information on the net for self help. I'm sure shyness is a subject that has much just about it.
I can tell you a few things though and I'm sure when you do some research on it you're going to find out I'm right. Being shy is fear. You fear what you don't know. How does it make you feel when you "put yourself out there" and talk then the person responds positively? Good? Of course you do! How do you feel when you put yourself out there and get humiliated? Bad! How do you feel when you don't put yourself out there? Bad! So it's either put yourself out there and feel good sometimes and bad other times or don't try and just feel bad all the time. This is a way to control your fear in any situation. (not just social, even things like heights) Just think of how good the positive outcome will be. The fear part is only focusing on the negative. You only need to retrain the way you think about it then you will respond better. I've used this technique before and it works! Guys have to do this. Most are horrible with girls, but have got to walk up to a girl and start talking. Do the same thing. Walk up with your lunch tray and say "That's a really nice bracelet, where did you get it?" then when she responds say "Do you mind if I sit here?" like sitting with her is an afterthought. Not only will you get to sit there you will still have the jewelry as a topic of discussion and have made a new friend. If she instead responds negatively just smile like it doesn't bother you say "Well it's a really nice bracelet." and walk off. Don't make any rude comments. You'll do fine. |
#5
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Does it help to know that other people can be shy as well? I have been painfully shy all my life, and nobody has really believed it. I was very unhappy at the age you are now, but shyness becomes less of a problem the older you get, so life can only get better.
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#6
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It's wonderful to have friends, but being alone can have its advantages too. It can make you a keen observer. If you don't ignore what's going around you, and you can sharpen your wits and develop your own opinions rather than opting to mass opinion that many teens are confortable conforming to.
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Me ayuda si corrige mis errores. Gracias. |
#7
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Quote:
Jessica. I can understand you. But don't worry more by the reason that someday someone coming you someone with a clean interest to be your friend, the truly friend are they who are with you in the good situation or bad moments. Not are those who only are in the party or the cinema with you, you have family and they are truly your family, your brother and sisters. In the school only there's partners it's weir when you've a truly friend. Then please don't worry for it, and you don't have a lone. We are here with you although trough of a computer by all the days we are here.
__________________
We are building the most important dare for my life and my family feature now we are installing new services in telecoms. |
#8
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Just be yourself and be as happy as you can be with what/who you have around you. Show interest in what others do.
Rest assure that eventually you will encounter great friends. It just happen. Don't even try to force you or others, but be available, and do not despair if it doesn't happen right away. But most important of all. Be happy with yourself. That alone attracts people around you. Last edited by chileno; August 31, 2010 at 08:21 AM. |
#9
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Another aspect... is that "loneliness" is a theme where many creative artists have "splurged on it" creating beautiful poetry... I remembered Antonio Machado, he wrote,
Soledad, sequedad. Tan pobre me estoy quedando, que ya ni siquiera estoy conmigo, ni sé si voy conmigo a solas viajando. You can find the whole poem in the link included, (in case you want to practice your Spanish, as the poem has few words and/or expressions you'll have to check in the dictionary, or ask us about it... http://es.wikisource.org/wiki/Otro_viaje_%28Machado%29
__________________
Lo propio de la verdad es que se basta a sí misma, aquel que la posee no intenta convencer a nadie. "An enemy is somebody who flatters you. A friend is somebody who criticizes the living daylights out of you." |
#10
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Quote:
__________________
We are building the most important dare for my life and my family feature now we are installing new services in telecoms. |
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