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Historia en Español

 

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  #1  
Old May 12, 2010, 06:45 AM
maravilloso maravilloso is offline
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Historia en Español

Érase un vez, había un pingüino nombre Charlie, quién gustaban comer popsicle. Todos los pingüinos gustaban comer pescado (num, num, num). Pero no Charlie, el contración de pescado, único popsicles. Mmm, el probarfam de rechupete. Pingüino niños el rato sentado comió les pescado, Charlie todo el tiempo. Le era contento comió popsicles pero era también muy solo. Un día a pingüino nombre Jenny vino y sentado con Charlie. Charlie dio la una popsicle, “¡oye! este es deliicioso,” dijo Jenny. cuándo de otra manera pingüinos vinieron comieron popsicles y tuvieran divertido juntos. Tan de otra manera perscado comieran pingüinos vinieron junto vieron tejemanejes. Charlie dieron una popsicle y ellos una grande feastín. Charliees mucho contento. Ellos tuvieron popsicles y pescados. Ellos llano pescado popsicles. Charlie y todos los pingüinos legar a ser Amigos

¿Cómo se dice popsicles en Español?

Corrección, por favor
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  #2  
Old May 12, 2010, 07:09 AM
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irmamar irmamar is offline
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No sé qué son "popsicles".

Would you mind to write the same in English, I don't understand things such as "contración de pescado" y "probafarm".
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  #3  
Old May 12, 2010, 09:24 AM
maravilloso maravilloso is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by irmamar View Post
No sé qué son "popsicles".

Would you mind to write the same in English, I don't understand things such as "contración de pescado" y "probafarm".
"contración de" and "probafarm" was supposed to be taken out. Didn't like fish is what I was trying to say

And I wasn't sure if Popsicle had a Spanish translation.

I feel bad that you can't understand me. I told you I am not good at writing in Spanish. Sorry.
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  #4  
Old May 12, 2010, 09:26 AM
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AngelicaDeAlquezar AngelicaDeAlquezar is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maravilloso View Post
Érase un vez (1), había un pingüino de nombre Charlie, quién a quien gustaban comer popsicle*. A Todos los pingüinos les gustaban gustaba (2) comer pescado (num, num, num). Pero no Charlie, el contración (3) de pescado, único sólo/solamente popsicles. Mmm, el probarfam (3) de rechupete. Pingüino niños el rato sentado comió les pescado (4), Charlie todo el tiempo. Le era contento comió popsicles pero era también muy solo (4). Un día a (5) pingüino de nombre Jenny vino y sentado con Charlie (4). Charlie dio la una popsicle, “¡oye! esteesto es delicioso,” dijo Jenny. cuándo de otra manera pingüinos vinieron comieron popsicles (4) y tuvieran (7) divertido (8) juntos. Tan de otra manera perscado comieran pingüinos vinieron junto vieron tejemanejes(4). Charlie dieron una popsicle y ellos una grande feastín(4). Charliees mucho contento(4). Ellos tuvieron popsicles y pescados. Ellos llano pescado popsicles(4). Charlie y todos los pingüinos legar a ser Amigos(4)

¿Cómo se dice popsicles en Español?

Corrección, por favor
There are too many mistakes and too many fragmentary sentences to be easily corrected, but here are some comments:

(1) Either "había una vez" or "érase una vez"
- "Érase una vez un pingüino" / "Había una vez un pingüino".
(2) The verb gustar is a bit tricky for English speakers. The subject of the verb is the thing that is liked.
A los pingüinos les gusta el helado. -> Pengüins like ice-cream.
(3) Not Spanish words, what did you mean?
(4) Too unclear or wrong combination of words, please write it again.
(5) You used an English article, try using a Spanish one.
(6) Either "la" or "una" (You don't use "a the" in English)
(7) Subjunctive is no needed here.
(8) "Divertido" is an adjective and you can't "have" an adjective. You need a noun there.


* "Popsicle" has different words in many regions, but you can say "helado" (ice-cream).


Last note with some pieces of advice:
If you submit a paragraph for corrections, please be careful with spelling and make sure with the dictionary that the word you're using is the right one for what you want to say.

Take your time and keep on practicing.
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  #5  
Old May 12, 2010, 09:32 AM
maravilloso maravilloso is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AngelicaDeAlquezar View Post
There are too many mistakes and too many fragmentary sentences to be easily corrected, but here are some comments:

(1) Either "había una vez" or "érase una vez"
- "Érase una vez un pingüino" / "Había una vez un pingüino".
(2) The verb gustar is a bit tricky for English speakers. The subject of the verb is the thing that is liked.
A los pingüinos les gusta el helado. -> Pengüins like ice-cream.
(3) Not Spanish words, what did you mean?
(4) Too unclear or wrong combination of words, please write it again.
(5) You used an English article, try using a Spanish one.
(6) Either "la" or "una" (You don't use "a the" in English)
(7) Subjunctive is no needed here.
(8) "Divertido" is an adjective and you can't "have" an adjective. You need a noun there.


* "Popsicle" has different words in many regions, but you can say "helado" (ice-cream).


Last note with some pieces of advice:
If you submit a paragraph for corrections, please be careful with spelling and make sure with the dictionary that the word you're using is the right one for what you want to say.

Take your time and keep on practicing.
Thank you

And I thought I did spell everything correctly I always keep a dictionary near me when trying to write in Spanish. This was an old project I did in high school. This might have been my first draft before handing it in to the teach. I can't remember, I just found it on my computer and thought I would share it and get any corrections and suggestions on how to make it better.

Now I feel like a dummy for lots of grammatical errors
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  #6  
Old May 12, 2010, 09:44 AM
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AngelicaDeAlquezar AngelicaDeAlquezar is offline
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Sorrow is not useful for learning. Now that you know where mistakes are, try working on correcting it and on using the right words you meant to write... you'll take one more step forward.
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  #7  
Old May 12, 2010, 10:38 AM
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CrOtALiTo CrOtALiTo is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maravilloso View Post
"contración de" and "probafarm" was supposed to be taken out. Didn't like fish is what I was trying to say

And I wasn't sure if Popsicle had a Spanish translation.

I feel bad that you can't understand me. I told you I am not good at writing in Spanish. Sorry.
Not but I believe that the pospsicle word has any definition.
Because really I don't know what does it mean?
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  #8  
Old May 12, 2010, 11:42 AM
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chileno chileno is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maravilloso View Post
Thank you

And I thought I did spell everything correctly I always keep a dictionary near me when trying to write in Spanish. This was an old project I did in high school. This might have been my first draft before handing it in to the teach. I can't remember, I just found it on my computer and thought I would share it and get any corrections and suggestions on how to make it better.

Now I feel like a dummy for lots of grammatical errors
You are doing ok, but always provide the English version of what you want to say and your try in Spanish. I think it is only sensible.
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