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Revisar mi introduccion?

 

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  #1  
Old October 22, 2008, 04:07 PM
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Revisar mi introduccion?

Como viene el Halloween (en los Estados Unidos), mi clase de español hay que escribir narraciones de fantasmas. Tengo que dar por cierto (to be certain?) que la gramática es aceptable . ¿Pueden Uds. revisarla?

Ésta es la introducción:

Primero, déjame decirles a los escépticos que yo también nunca había creído en las fantasmas. Una existencia que no es firme, ni puede tocar nada, ni se la toca [nor can be touched?]. Alguna persona lógica estaría de acuerdo. Sin embargo, había una historia que me contaba mi padre. Una historia que se me volvió mi mente por toda vez. Éste es el cuento de la Niña del Campo.

Muchas gracias!
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  #2  
Old October 22, 2008, 04:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hombre-Araña View Post
Como viene el Halloween (en los Estados Unidos), mi clase de español tiene que escribir narraciones de fantasmas. Tengo que estar seguro de (to be certain) que la gramática es aceptable . ¿Pueden Uds. revisarla?

Esta es la introducción:

Primero, déjenme decirles a los escépticos que yo tampoco nunca he creído en los fantasmas. Una existencia que no es firme material, que no puede tocar nada, ni puede ser tocado [can be touched]. Cualquier persona lógica estaría de acuerdo. Sin embargo, hay una historia que me contó mi padre, una historia que se me quedó en la mente (memoria) por todo tiempo. Este es el cuento de la Niña del Campo.

Muchas gracias!
Corrections and suggestions above.
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  #3  
Old October 22, 2008, 04:55 PM
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En lugar de "una existencia" yo diría "un ser" (a being).
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  #4  
Old October 22, 2008, 05:25 PM
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I liked that better, too, and was going to suggest it.
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  #5  
Old October 22, 2008, 06:10 PM
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un ectoplasmo
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  #6  
Old October 22, 2008, 10:15 PM
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La mano peluda.
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Old October 23, 2008, 10:06 AM
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No me gusta el uso de la palabra "being"........si es que no puede tocar y que tampoco se puede tocar entonces no es un ser/being.

Pero tampoco les puedo decir como se podría llamar......hmmmmm

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Old October 23, 2008, 10:22 PM
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Elaina you are being, your own world. jijijij
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Old October 25, 2008, 05:10 AM
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ser - being(human); estando - being(in a state of)
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  #10  
Old October 25, 2008, 08:20 AM
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Umm.. me permite apostar [what word is used for "to post" on forums...?] el próximo parrafo del cuento? Las repuestas y revisiones son muy útiles.
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