Formality in Address

[Tycholiz]

I have a quick question that's been bugging me regarding formality. I understand for the most part when to use formal over informal, but what about if I meet someone at a bar or something, or in a classroom. Am i obligated to use formal, or can I safely use familliar (assuming the person I am talking to is about the same age as me).

Thank you so much for the clarification on this nagging issue!!! :D

[Don José]

I would say you can use a familiar language. But on second thoughts it may depend on the context, which age you are,...

[Rusty]

My :twocents:.
You may offend if you immediately tutear, but I've done so many times with no apparent repercussions. This was done with people my age and younger, and always with children.

It's better not to use informal speech when ordering services or when speaking to an individual in a formal atmosphere.

[Tycholiz]

Thanks for the answers! (very helpful)

It leads to another question though. What is tutear exactly? I hear it in the sentence "podemos tutearnos, no?" which means "we dont have to be formal, do we?" more or less correct? But when i type "tutear" into a translator, nothing comes up and I cant find the use of this word anywhere.

[Rusty]

tutear = to address another in the second person

http://www.wordreference.com/es/en/translation.asp?spen=tutear
http://buscon.rae.es/draeI/

tutear


1. tr. Hablar a alguien empleando el pronombre de segunda persona. Con su uso se borran todos los tratamientos de cortesía y de respeto. U. t. c. prnl.

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[chileno]

Tutearse se refiere a tratarse de "tú".

[AngelicaDeAlquezar]

Sometimes "usted" is used regardless of the age. It's mostly used for showing deference toward other people.

And sorry for quoting myself from here (http://forums.tomisimo.org/showthread.php?t=11423), I think this is a useful hint:


[T]rust the good manners you were taught at home. Whenever you've learnt to say "sir/ma'am" or when addressing people with their titles (Mr., Dr., Professor, General...), use "usted" and you'll be fine. :)

[laepelba]

I have a student from Guatemala who tells me that she NEVER uses "tú" with ANYONE, ever. She calls EVERYONE "Usted". Even her very best friends and her boyfriend. I find this interesting.... I would guess that the choice of tú vs. Usted may be regional.

[wrholt]

I have a student from Guatemala who tells me that she NEVER uses "tú" with ANYONE, ever. She calls EVERYONE "Usted". Even her very best friends and her boyfriend. I find this interesting.... I would guess that the choice of tú vs. Usted may be regional.

I have met a few people from different places who routinely use 'usted' to address everyone in all circumstances.

[poli]

It's definitely regional, and in the Americas ud. is more commonly used than in Spain.

One easy rule is if you use tú and the person responds with ud., then it can be assumed that the person expects you to continue with ud.

[aleCcowaN]

One easy rule is if you use tú and the person responds with ud., then it can be assumed that the person expects you to continue with ud.

Unless you are 60 and the other person is 20, then it would be customary such asymmetrical addressing.

[micho]

Yo algunas veces utilizo el usted para marcar distancias, incluso con gente joven. Así puedo evitar un excesivo acercamiento/familiaridad, con un recién conocido desagradable o incómodo.

-Escritos oficiales: siempre el usted.
-Escritos personales a gente no conocida previamente: Usted siempre. -Si es a gente conocida el trato es el mismo que se tenía previamente.
-Escritos entre amigos y familia: igual que en el trato oral. En muchos paises se acepta el tu.
-En comercios, oficinas, taxis, bares, restaurantes, superiores o inferiores en el trabajo, gente mayor, ancianos, etc. siempre el usted.
-Compañeros de similar nivel, amigos, familia, colegas de la misma edad (recién presentados) se utiliza el tu siempre, al menos en España.
-Muchas mujeres de mediana edad prefieren el tu (el usted las hace viejas, dicen).
-En un trabajo del cara al público: Siempre de usted.
-Adolescentes y jovenes (teens): Habitualmente de tu (dependiendo de la situación y de los paises).
-Dentro de la pareja: En algunos paises se tratan de usted. No es el caso de España ni de otros muchos lugares.