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Spanish Poem

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mistyrose
December 15, 2017, 01:00 PM
Hola,
I tried to write a Spanish poem but since not very good in this language wrote in English and then translated. How did I do? How can it be improved? Does anyone know where I can read some wonderful Spanish poetry? ¡Muchas gracias!



Diciembre-mejor época del año

Es un mes con felicidad
Santas mágicas, elfos, renos y regalos de Navidad
Decoraciones brillantes y villancicos cantando
Dando buenas noticias de buen ánimo
Arboles con luces, deliciosas comidas y postres

Mi hermano está desaparecido en este momento
En esta celebración con las familias
Los juegos que jugamos e historias contadas
Estos son preciosos recuerdos de la niñez
Y ahora nuevas visiones para contemplar

Rusty
December 15, 2017, 02:27 PM
There are some things I would change. The first is the title of the poem. I believe you meant 'December-the best time of the year'.
If so, add the article 'la' prior to 'mejor'.

Instead of 'elfos', used in the LOTR movies, I would use 'duendes'.

Instead of 'villancicos cantando', use 'villancicos cantados' or 'villancicos cantándose'. You could also just reverse what you wrote.

I'm not sure what you meant by 'Santas mágicas'. Please provide that part in English.

I'm also not sure what you were trying to say about your brother.

mistyrose
December 17, 2017, 04:42 PM
Gracias por las correcciones!

mi hermano está desaparecido en este momento

My brother is missing at this time.

Santas mágicas'

Magical Santas....(elves, reindeers and Christmas gifts)

Gracias!

Rusty
December 17, 2017, 06:37 PM
Santa (Claus) = San Nicolás, Papá Noel (Spain), Santa Claus (Mexico), Viejo/Viejito Pascuero (Chile)

I'm not familiar with the phrase 'Magical Santas', but if it means 'all things Christmas', you could say 'cosas navideñas'.