Song Lyrics Anyone kind enough to check?

[Autoazure]

I have some knowledge of Spanish and I am also a musician and songwriter.
I have written a song in Spanish however, my command of the language is not complete. I include the lyrics below! Do they make sense and sound natural? Thank you, Jim Thyne.



Venda La Migra


Somos chicos y chicas
Señores y señoritas
Abuelos, hermanitas
Pero, sobre todo somos amigos.

En el camino hacia el norte
Nosotros buscamos la libertad
Trabajadores de todos tipos
Pero, sobre todo
Somos amigos.

Que Dios venda los ojos
De La Migra que se no ven,
Haz los sordos a nuestros pasos,
Entraremos no oyen.

[AngelicaDeAlquezar]

The only problem I see is that you need the subjunctive in some sentences, and the title doesn't make much sense the way it is.

Some suggestions:



Venda Ciega a La Migra
(Since your last stanza is asking God to make the police blind and deaf to the immigrants, I'm using here the imperative form of the verb "cegar", which means "to make blind".)
Somos chicos y chicas
Señores y señoritas
Abuelos, hermanitas
Pero, sobre todo somos amigos.

En el camino hacia el norte
Nosotros buscamos la libertad
Trabajadores de todos tipos
Pero, sobre todo
Somos amigos.

Que Dios vende los ojos
De La Migra que se no ven no nos vean,
Hazlos sordos a nuestros pasos,
Entraremos no oyen sin que nos oigan.

In this last verse, maybe the meter won't fit your song, but with the same number of syllables you may say "que no oigan que entramos"/"para que no nos oigan" or something similar. :)

[Autoazure]

Thank you ever so much, I intend to record the vocals this evening. I would still like to have the song title to retain the 'blindfold La Migra' as it suggests no violence nor malice. Should I call the song 'Vende los ojos de La Migra'? Or are there any other options?
Kind regards Jim Thyne

[Autoazure]

Thank You, the song is now on Youtube and includes your much appreciated corrections.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwbFE97p75U

[AngelicaDeAlquezar]

Nice tune! :)

The problem with the verb "vendar" (to put on a bandage or to blindfold) is that it's too similar to the verb "vender" (to sell), so "vende la migra" means "Sell the immigration police".
But to keep the subjunctive, you need to make a longer sentence so the meaning is clear: "Que vende los ojos de la Migra". That's why I suggested to use the verb "cegar", which would give a shorter sentence. :)


My only suggestion about the song itself, is that you should pronounce "hacia" as "'ah-siah" and "hazlos" as "'as-los". Only the people from Spain pronounce "z" and "c" like the English "th". Latin Americans pronounce "s". ;)

[Autoazure]

I much appreciate your very informed comments Angelica! Muchisimo Gracias!
Jim Thyne

[AngelicaDeAlquezar]

Glad to help.

Nice song! :)