To His Coy Mistress by Andrew Marvell (excerpt)

[VivaEspana]

Had we but world enough, and time
This coyness, lady, were no crime,
We would sit down, and think which way
To walk, and pass our long love's day.
Thou by the Indian Ganges' side
Shouldst rubies find: I by the tide
Of Humber would complain. I would
Love you ten years before the Flood
And you should, if you please, refuse......

Translation:

Hubiesemos tenido excepto el mundo bastante, y el tiempo
Esta la timidez, la senora, estuvo no el crimen
Hubimos nos sentamos, y pensamos que camino
Caminar, y pasar nuestro dia largo del amor.
Vos al lado de lado del Ganges Indio
Deberia los rubis encontrado: Yo al lado de la marea,
Del Humber se quejara, Yo,
Te amare los diez anos antes de la inundacion,
Y tu, si por favor, rechazaras......

[Marsopa]

So why are you translating this Viva?

It seems really hard to capture the style...

:thinking:

[CrOtALiTo]

Had we but world enough, and time
This coyness, lady, were no crime,
We would sit down, and think which way
To walk, and pass our long love's day.
Thou by the Indian Ganges' side
Shouldst rubies find: I by the tide
Of Humber would complain. I would
Love you ten years before the Flood
And you should, if you please, refuse......

Translation:

Hubiesemos tenido excepto el mundo bastante, y el tiempo
Esta la timidez, la senora, estuvo no el crimen
Hubimos nos sentamos, y pensamos que camino
Caminar, y pasar nuestro dia largo del amor.
Vos al lado de lado del Ganges Indio
Deberia los rubis encontrado: Yo al lado de la marea,
Del Humber se quejara, Yo,
Te amare los diez anos antes de la inundacion,
Y tu, si por favor, rechazaras......

Viva.

Your poem really loss quite hang to being translated in Spanish, really in English is perfect.

[VivaEspana]

I believe one becomes a better student in translating English to Spanish by applying it on poetry. Pablo Neruda style is what I am after. Read his books. They have english translation. Sorry, man. I guess I am a frustrated Spanish language student. My dream is to deliver the weather forecast in Spanish in front of television together with all the appropriate hand gestures (just like Nicole Kidman in the movie TO DIE FOR). I am going to study Spanish next coming school year but for now I have to finish my Mandarin classes.

[Rusty]

Translating difficult passages, especially poetry, is quite an undertaking.
I suggest you'd learn more by just posting a translated sentence or two and waiting for corrections. Then you can ask questions about the corrections, if they weren't explained to your liking.

It seems to me you may want to focus on verbs, avoiding the passive voice altogether. (I'm thinking about your previous posts.) The passive voice isn't used very often in Spanish.
I also noticed that you're translating the 'was/were ___ing' construct as a conjugated 'to be' verb (you chose estar), followed by another conjugated verb. This isn't correct. What you should be using instead is the past imperfect tense, which employs no auxiliary verb.


The poem you've posted, by the way, has already been translated and can be found on the Internet.

Poetry is a work of art. You'll seldom find a word-for-word translation, because poetry transcends the words it's made of. :)

My translation of the first two lines would be:
Hubiésemos tenido tiempo y mundo suficientes,
No sería delito tu timidez, señora.

(Had we had time and world enough,
Your shyness, lady, would be no crime.)

There's no need to translate the word but. It is inferred by the use of the subjunctive mood, and can actually be omitted in the English rendition (as you can see).
The reason I switched the objects around is because the sentence flows better that way ('had we had time enough' is a well-known phrase - the additional object begs to take second stage).
The plural object takes a plural adjective (suficientes).

The first two lines of the poem are basically saying that the lady's coyness wouldn't be a crime if time and space weren't limited.
The English sentence I just wrote makes use of the conditional tense (wouldn't be) and the subjunctive mood (weren't). The Spanish translation would be the same. Spanish has two verbs that mean 'to be'. In the two instances just cited, you would use ser, not estar. Since the first line is a dependent clause, and it's in the imperfect subjunctive mood, we know that there will be a conditional tense verb (or a past tense verb that requires the subjunctive) in the main clause (the second line).

Has this been helpful?
What other questions do you have?

[CrOtALiTo]

Congratulation for your job ( Rusty ). You seldom have mistakes in yours writings.

[VivaEspana]

Thank you Rusty. I have here in front of me a grammar book. It tells the difference of the use of ser and estar. I often confused it with French verb 'to be'. Anyway, thank you. I will start translating in sentences. I also believe it would be better for me.

[CrOtALiTo]

Thank you Rusty. I have here in front of me a grammar book. It tells the difference of the use of ser and estar. I often confused it with French verb 'to be'. Anyway, thank you. I will start translating in sentences. I also believe it would be better for me.

Viva.

I will tell you a hint, I hope this council don't bother you.

Sometimes the books are wrote for people who are from another countries and they turn to be mistakes, then if you need a precise answer, I can telling you that, you should to ask your own doubt to people from diverse countries, for instance here where you are.


Take care.