Nelson Mandela

[laepelba]

Necesito escribir un ensayo muy corto sobre una persona famosa. Elegí a Nelson Mandela. Aquí es lo que escribí:

*************
Nació 18 de julio, 1918. Arrestó en 1962. Permaneció en prisión durante 27 años. Permaneció en prisión durante 27 años. Después de su encarcelamiento, fue presidente de su país. Ganó el Nobel de la paz en 1993. Luchaba contra la segregación racial y la separación de las razas. Recientemente, trabajaba en proyectos contra SIDA y otros proyectos humanitarios.

*************

We aren't supposed to give the person's name or obvious details because our classmates are supposed to guess who we've written about...

I would like to know (1) have I used the preterite and imperfect correctly? and (2) have I chosen appropriate vocabulary words.

Gracias!

[chileno]

Necesito escribir un ensayo muy corto sobre una persona famosa. Elegí a Nelson Mandela. Aquí está/Esto es lo que escribí:

*************
Nació el/un 18 de julio de 1918. Fue arrestado en 1962. Permaneció en prisión durante/por 27 años. Permaneció en prisión durante 27 años. Después de salir de su encarcelamiento, fue presidente de su país. Ganó el Premio Nobel de la paz en 1993. Luchó contra la segregación racial y la separación de las razas. Recientemente, trabaja en proyectos contra SIDA y otros proyectos humanitarios.

*************

We aren't supposed to give the person's name or obvious details because our classmates are supposed to guess who we've written about...

I would like to know (1) have I used the preterite and imperfect correctly? and (2) have I chosen appropriate vocabulary words.

Gracias!

The first question is answered by the corrections.

And you have chosen a good vocabulary.

[laepelba]

Thanks for the corrections, Chileno. I was frustrated a bit when writing about the imprisonment. We're supposed to stick with straight-up imperfect/preterit. DOH - I should have caught the "arrestó" bit, but I didn't know how to say it without it sounding so passive. Is there a better way to make him the active subject of that sentence?

[chileno]

Thanks for the corrections, Chileno. I was frustrated a bit when writing about the imprisonment. We're supposed to stick with straight-up imperfect/preterit. DOH - I should have caught the "arrestó" bit, but I didn't know how to say it without it sounding so passive. Is there a better way to make him the active subject of that sentence?

Creo que así está bien.

Espero que otros que saben más de gramática te ayuden mejor.

[laepelba]

Creo que así está bien.

Espero que otros que saben más de gramática te ayuden mejor.

Gracias!

[wafflestomp]

I'd suggest definitely changing "durante 27 años" to "por 27 años".

Otherwise I'm in agreement with Chileno's corrections... really good writing :)

[ookami]

I'd suggest definitely changing "durante 27 años" to "por 27 años".

Why?

[pjt33]

DOH - I should have caught the "arrestó" bit, but I didn't know how to say it without it sounding so passive. Is there a better way to make him the active subject of that sentence?
Le detuvieron...

When the actor of a passive verb is a person you can often use an active verb with the third person plural instead. E.g. Me ha sido robado la bici -> Me han robado la bici.

Edit: sorry, I missed "make him the active subject". You would have to change the verb to something like "He failed to escape capture by the police..."

[laepelba]

Le detuvieron...

When the actor of a passive verb is a person you can often use an active verb with the third person plural instead. E.g. Me ha sido robado la bici -> Me han robado la bici.

Edit: sorry, I missed "make him the active subject". You would have to change the verb to something like "He failed to escape capture by the police..."

Okay, but could I say "Le arrestaron..."?

[chileno]

Okay, but could I say "Le arrestaron..."?

It is better to say arrestar. Although detener is very much used to mean the same, it does not really mean the same as per RAE.

[AngelicaDeAlquezar]

Just for the sake of regionalisms: "lo detuvieron" / "lo arrestaron"

I agree with Chileno that "lo arrestaron" might be better, since "detener", at least around here, doesn't imply that he was put in jail (he could have been released the day after).

@Wafflestomp: Sorry, but I don't think so. None of the DRAE's definitions of "por" suggests it can be a synonym of "durante".
And sorry, Hernán, I'd definitely keep "durante".