Descriptive essay

[Jessica]

Final draft due Monday; please check for any errors and give advice on how to improve my paragraphs whereever necessary.

please open the attachment to read my essay. I will update and post the newly updated essay when needed.

Thanks in advance :)

[CrOtALiTo]

I check it out very fast, because is very long your essay and well just I have't enough time for read all the text, therefore I will leave that will be check it out for some native speaker American.

But well I can give you an A of qualification.

[dhtml]

Sí, es un ensayo muy bueno. Estos son mis correcciones:
Yes, it is a very good essay. These are my corrections:

Though, ingles es mi 'second language', that is the much i can do.
I speak 'yoruba' as mi native language. como se dice 'yoruba' en español?


1.
I stared down, which a mixture of fear,
deber cer
I stared down, with a mixture of fear,

2.
When you are young, you have a lot of imagination
deber cer
When you are young, you have a lot of imaginations

3.
Sometimes this imagination can carry to your dreams
deber cer
Sometimes these imaginations can get carried into your dreams


eso es todo

[hermit]

Hi Jessica - good descriptive essay - a couple of suggested changes:

Paragraph 1 - "Sometimes these dreams reflect how you were feeling."

Last paragraph - "...carry through to your dreams,..."

Nice work; I think you have a very rich life ahead...

Hermit