Joke

[Tomisimo]

Originally Posted by celador

When American Airlines wanted to advertise its new leather first class seats in the Mexican market, it translated its "Fly In Leather" campaign literally, which meant "Fly Naked" (vuela en cuero) in Spanish.

It would be interesting to see a picture of an ad or something for that campaign. Mistranslations are always funny.

[sosia]

http://languagecenter.cla.umn.edu/el...article_id=100
Business slogans from American Demographics magazine:
When Braniff translated a slogan touting its upholstery, "Fly in leather," it came out in Spanish as "Fly naked."

Coors put its slogan, "Turn it loose," into Spanish, where it was read as "Suffer from diarrhea."

Chicken magnate Frank Perdue's line, "It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken," sounds much more interesting in Spanish: "It takes a sexually stimulated man to make a chicken affectionate."

The Chevy Nova never sold well in Spanish speaking countries. "No va" means "it doesn't go" in Spanish.

When Pepsi started marketing its products in China a few years back, they translated their slogan, "Pepsi Brings You Back to Life" pretty literally. The slogan in Chinese really meant, "Pepsi Brings Your Ancestors Back from the Grave."

When Coca-Cola first shipped to China, they named the product something that when pronounced sounded like "Coca-Cola." The only problem was that the characters used meant "Bite the wax tadpole." They later changed to a set of characters that mean "Happiness in the mouth." FALSE, it was always the second one. The first one it's the literal translation

A hair product company, Clairol, introduced the "Mist Stick", a curling iron, into Germany only to find out that mist is slang for manure. Not too many people had use for the manure stick.

When Gerber first started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as here in the USA - with the cute baby on the label. Later they found out that in Africa companies routinely put pictures on the label of what's inside since most people can't read.

more
http://moronland.net/moronia/moron/1064/

[Jessica]

I don't get it. It's funny, but I don't get it :P

[CrOtALiTo]

Of course, but I didn't understand anything above this post.

[Rusty]

Originally Posted by CrOtALiTo

Of course, but I didn't understand anything about this post.

One correction. You often use above when you should use about.

sobre = encima de (on, upon, on top of)
sobre = por encima de (above, over)
sobre = a propósito de (about)
nada de = anything about
algo de = something about

[Planet hopper]

It's a sign at the door of a museum in China.

[sibdx01]

El día de la boda de Jennifer se acercaba rápidamente. Nada podía calmarle el nerviosismo - ni siquiera el feo divorcio de sus padres. Su madre había encontrado el vestido PERFECTO para ese día, ¡y quería ser la madre-de-novia mejor-vestida que nunca hubo!

¡Una semana más tarde, Jennifer se horrorizó al saber que la nueva y joven esposa de su padre había comprado exactamente el mismo vestido que su madre! Jennifer le pidió a su madrastra que lo cambiase, pero ella se negó. "En absoluto. Estoy perfecta con este vestido, y me lo voy a poner!" contestó.

Jennifer se lo contó a su madre, que cortésmente dijo, "No te preocupes, cariño. Me compraré otro vestido. Después de todo, es tu día especial!"

Pocos días después, fueron de compras y encontraron otro hermoso vestido. Cuando pararon para comer, Jennifer le preguntó a su madre, "¿Vas a devolver el otro vestido? Realmente no hay otra ocasión en que puedas ponértelo."

Su madre simplemente sonrió y contestó, "Desde luego que la hay, mi amor. Voy a ponérmelo para la cena del ensayo la noche anterior a la boda."

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Están dos mexicanos tomando tequila (muuuuucho tequila) cuando de repente dice uno:
"¡Qué viva la menstruación!"
Y le contesta el otro...
"Oye, cuate, se dice: ¡Qué viva la Revolución!"
Y el primero...
"¡Es lo mismo, que corra la sangre!"

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En un instituto muy fino para señoritas, durante la clase de biologia, va el profesor y pregunta:
- Señorita Irujo, podria usted nombrarnos el organo del cuerpo humano que, en las condiciones apropiadas, se expande hasta multiplicar su tamaño por seis, y explique cuales son estas circunstancias.
La aludida se ronroja inmediatamente, pero se levanta y dice:
- Con perdon, profesor, pero yo diria que esta no es la pregunta mas adecuada para hacerle a una dama. Prefiero no contestar.
Y a continuacion se sienta. El profesor, sin inmutarse, dice:
- Señorita Garcia, responda usted.
- La pupila del ojo, bajo iluminacion muy debil.
- Correcto. Y ahora, señorita Irujo, dejeme decirle tres cosas.
En primer lugar, usted deberia haber estudiado la leccion.
En segundo lugar, tiene usted una mente sucia impropia de una mujer de su posicion.
Y tercero, algun dia se llevara usted una amarga decepcion.

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Un conocido lord inglés reunía a sus amistades a tomar el té a la hora señalada todos los martes de cada semana en su palacio de Bloodshire.
Cierto martes, el puntualísimo caballero no apareció y los invitados estaban intrigados. En cierto momento aparece el mayordomo y les dice a los presentes, con típico acento "british":
-Señores, Milord les pide disculpas por la demora y les anuncia que después de mucho tiempo, se ha reencontrado con su vieja y querida amiga Lulú, de París.
Dice que si puede, dentro de dos horas estará con ustedes, y si no puede, dentro de diez minutos. Muchas gracias.

[AngelicaDeAlquezar]

Originally Posted by sosia

[...]When Gerber first started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as here in the USA - with the cute baby on the label. Later they found out that in Africa companies routinely put pictures on the label of what's inside since most people can't read.
[...]

It's fantastic how "globalization" proves not so "globalizing".


A friend of mine sent me this about English language:

Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:


1. The bandage was wound around the wound.

2. The farm was used to produce produce.

3. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4. We must polish the Polish furniture.

5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to

present the present.

8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10. I did not object to the object.

11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13. They were too close to the door to close it.

14. The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18. After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

21. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

22. Do you know which witch was which?


Let's face it--English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant
nor
ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins
weren't invented in England or French fries in France.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we
findthat
quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is
neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't
groce, and hammers don't ham. If the plural of tooth is teeth, why
isn't the
plural of booth beeth?

One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend. If
you
have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what
do
you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats
vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an
asylum
for the verbally insane.

In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that
smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man
and a
wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
house
can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it
out,
and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the
creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.

That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the
lights
are out, they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick?

[chileno]

Angelica, that was good!


Otro cortito.

Que le dijo una uva verde a la uva morada?

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iReeespiiiiiiiraaaaaa!

[CrOtALiTo]

Jajaja huy que ....


Cual es el colmo de un electricista?

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Que su hijo sea corriente.

[poli]

The purple grape got angry at the green grape and said,
"When will you ever mature?"
The green grape could say, "Stop whining."

The green grape got angry at the purple grape for welching on a bet.
The purple grape said to the green grape, "stop putting the squeeze on me. "

[Jessica]

haha its funny but I don't get it :P
Poli's and Tomisimo's :P

[chileno]

this is fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnn!!

[CrOtALiTo]

May someone translating me the joke at Spanish. Because I didn't understand anything.

[Rusty]

Originally Posted by CrOtALiTo

Could someone translate the joke into Spanish for me? I didn't understand anything.

The jokes you don't understand rely on a play on words (juego de palabras), and they wouldn't be funny if they were translated into Spanish.

Por ejemplo, lo siguiente no es gracioso en inglés porque consta con un juego de palabras:
¿Cuántos kilómetros vuela un pato a la quebrada?
No vuela nada con ala quebrada.

[Vikingo]

-Doctor, no me siento bien..
-Pues levántese.

[CrOtALiTo]

Originally Posted by Rusty

The jokes you don't understand rely on a play on words (juego de palabras), and they wouldn't be funny if they were translated into Spanish.

Por ejemplo, lo siguiente no es gracioso en inglés porque consta con un juego de palabras:
¿Cuántos kilómetros vuela un pato a la quebrada?
No vuela nada con ala quebrada.

I got it.


It doesn't matter.

[chileno]

Originally Posted by Vikingo

-Doctor, no me siento bien..
-Pues levántese.

Nah, siéntese mejor!

[Jessica]

here's my joke, lol

Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter said, "I'd like to get you guys in now, but our computer's down. You'll have to go back to Earth for about a week, but you can't go back as priests. What'll it be?"

The first priest says, "I've always wanted to be an eagle, soaring above the Rocky mountains."

"So be it," says St. Peter, and off flies the first priest.

The second priest mulls this over for a moment and asks, "Will any of this week 'count', St. Peter?"

"No, I told you the computer's down. There's no way we can keep track of what you're doing."

"In that case," says the second priest, "I've always wanted to be a stud."

"So be it" says St. Peter, and the second priest disappears.

A week goes by, the computer is fixed, and the Lord tells St. Peter to recall the two priests. "Will you have any trouble locating them?" He asks.

"The first one should be easy," says St. Peter. "He's somewhere over the Rockies, flying with the eagles. But the second one could prove to be more difficult."

"Why?" asked the Lord.

"He's on a snow tire, somewhere in North Dakota."

[poli]

Originally Posted by poli

The purple grape got angry at the green grape and said,
"When will you ever mature?"
The green grape could say, "Stop whining."

The green grape got angry at the purple grape for welching on a bet.
The purple grape said to the green grape, "stop putting the squeeze on me. "

Voy a tratar de explicar el chusco.
La uva morada le preguntó a la uva verde, «Oye, cuando vas a madurar»
La uva verde le contestó, «Termine de sollazar (en inglés sollazar es whine
y whine es un homónimo para wine y wine significa vino en inglés.
La uva verde se puso enfado cuando la uva morada (dejó de cumplir una apuesta)en ingles se puede decir
welch on a bet. El chiste es que, no se si en Mexico es igual, Welsh es una marca de jugo de uva
La uva morada le dijo a la verde,"no me esprimes tanto por el dinero"(put the squeeze on es un dicho que significa
presionar alguien para consiguir una cosa). Tambien se puede put the squeeze on una uva para obtener jugo.

In addition to trying to explain the puns, this is also an excercise in correct Spanish usage. Please advise me of errors.
Thanks.