Telephone message

[Perikles]

A friend has asked me to correct the Spanish translation of

Would you like your business seen by more people in your local area and for it to generate more sales for your services or products? Press 1 now or press 9 to have your number taken off our data base.

Which she thinks is

¿Desea que su negocio visto por más personas en su área local y las ventas para que genere más de sus servicios o productos?
Pulse 1 ahora o pulse 9 para tener su número retirado nuestra base de datos.

Could anybody rewrite the above Spanish to make it comprehensible? Thanks in advance.

[AngelicaDeAlquezar]

This is telephonic spam!!


OK, my proposal:

¿Desea* que su negocio sea* visto por más personas en su área y que genere mayores ventas de sus productos o servicios? Marque** 1 ahora, o marque** 9 para que su número sea eliminado de nuestra base de datos.

*"Desea - sea" is more proactive, but maybe I'd prefer "desearía - fuera" to make it sound more polite.

**"Marque" sounds more natural to me, but it might be too Mexican. If they say "pulse" in Spain, it should be left the way it was.

[chileno]

Originally Posted by Perikles

A friend has asked me to correct the Spanish translation of

Would you like your business seen by more people in your local area and for it to generate more sales for your services or products? Press 1 now or press 9 to have your number taken off our data base.

Which she thinks is

¿Desea que su negocio sea visto por más personas en su área local y generar más ventas para sus servicios o productos?
Pulse 1 ahora o pulse 9 para que su número sea retirado de nuestra base de datos.

Could anybody rewrite the above Spanish to make it comprehensible? Thanks in advance.

Flojo!

[Perikles]

Originally Posted by AngelicaDeAlquezar

This is telephonic spam!!

Yes I know, but the things you do for friends. Many thanks.

Originally Posted by chileno

Flojo!

I didn't write it. I knew it was bad, but I didn't want to correct it in case I made it worse.

[chileno]

Originally Posted by Perikles

Yes I know, but the things you do for friends. Many thanks.

I didn't write it. I knew it was bad, but I didn't want to correct it in case I made it worse.

Excuses! You already started on the wine and didn't want to period

See, that's the end of the sentence...

[AngelicaDeAlquezar]

@Perikles: Friends are worth it.

[Perikles]

Originally Posted by chileno

Excuses! You already started on the wine and didn't want to period

You have found me out. By the way, if you say ... bla bla bla period then I think you ought at least to have a period after it.

[chileno]

Originally Posted by Perikles

You have found me out. By the way, if you say ... bla bla bla period then I think you ought at least to have a period after it.

I know. i left it like that, with the ending comment....

Yeah, I know. I am weird.

[irmamar]

I think that here "pulse" is more common. As I live in a bilingual community, when I phone to a firm, there's always a recording saying: "si desea ser atendido en castellano, pulse 1.". Though I've heard both "pulse" and "marque".

[chileno]

Originally Posted by irmamar

I think that here "pulse" is more common. As I live in a bilingual community, when I phone to a firm, there's always a recording saying: "si desea ser atendido en castellano, pulse 1.". Though I've heard both "pulse" and "marque".

Tambié usamos el "apriete" el número...