Story

[JosephThomas]

I was writing a story during business hours to teach myself mild grammar and vocabulary.

However I was restricted to Translators

ah. I tried word for word translations fro education,
but in the end I went directly with, Full sentence translations!

Here is my piece. Please help me edit it into shape fro my learning experience.

Mañana

¶ Hoy en día, llegó la mañana antes de la noche, la última vez. Mañana por la mañana se produce después de la noche. El sol es mi luna, a menos que el tiempo no es más que un reloj. Mañana sol, la luna y las estrellas sustituir a todos ellos. Mañana nunca termina.

¶ Se nos dice que el agua grande se está preparando durante la noche. Que el sol se ve muy poco de nostros, por lo que dormer juntos en la noche. ¿Podría ser verdad? ¿Cuántos pueblos del suenño, mientas que el más grande de agua se está calentado? No era la oscuridad de la noche? Ahora tienen pedido nostros, “es la oscuridad durante unos pocos?”.

the original piece. green word I just added. Red words were misspelled in translation

Tomorrow
¶ Today, the morning came before the evening for the final time. Tomorrow, the morning comes after the evening. The sun is my moon, unless time is nothing more than a clock. Today all clocks are broken. Tomorrow the sun, moon and stars replace them all.
¶ We’re told that the big water is being prepared during the night. That the Sun would see very little of us, and so we sleep together in the night. Could it be true? How many peoples sleep while the biggest water is warming? Was the night not the darkness? Now they’ve asked us, “the dark for a few?”.


please and thanks

[Rusty]

Why, if you don't know much Spanish, would you want to start learning with this text? I don't mean to offend, but the English narrative is "out there." How could studying abstract ideas be helpful to a beginner?

All machine translators will fail to render the correct translation. And, since the English is a bunch of abstract ideas, not many of us who understand English would be able to do much better.
In some of your sentences, nearly every word in the "translation" needs to be changed. Are you prepared for all the grammar and vocabulary lessons that will necessarily follow?
Again, not meaning to offend, but you'll be told you need to use the subjunctive mood. What have you studied about that mood?
If I were you, I'd start with "the sun rises, the sun sets" instead of "the dark for a few."

[JosephThomas]

hmm, I'm 20 looking for the fast track :P

think you could help me out with this. Though ti might be a struggle it could be fun for you too.
life isn't simple. It's abstract.

Maybe just the first paragraph?
please

how many words for morning and evening are there?
they seem to only be before night, and before tomorrow
is that true?

[chileno]

I recommend you to translate word by word from Spanish to English. Start there and you'll be better off.

[Rusty]

There is no fast track to learning a language. It takes many months, if not years, to be able to understand what someone asks and to give an intelligible answer.

Your Spanish translation is missing a sentence found in the English version. And the English version is missing a sentence found in the Spanish version.
I'll translate the first English paragraph into Spanish.


Hoy, llegó la mañana antes de la noche, por última vez. Mañana, la madrugada viene después del anochecer. El sol es mi luna, a menos que el tiempo no sea nada más que un reloj. Hoy, están rotos todos los relojes. Los reemplazan mañana el sol, la luna y las estrellas.

[JosephThomas]

I can't it's to difficult.
the Spanish language has a poor establishment of terms for;
day, morning, evening, night and noon,
unless I can't find them,
in which case I'm just stupid.

Thanks for that translation too Rusty!

[Rusty]

You're welcome. The Spanish language is very rich. All the terms you mentioned exist in Spanish, and there's more than one way to say them.

[JosephThomas]

that's a blessing.
The computer- I need to try harder.

I see how wrong I went with this message/story.

I want to get bombed with the hard stuff 'right off the top'.
I learned almost nothing in french class.
ie. simple simple, too simple, simple - grade 10 - BLAMMO! = "we quit"
start hard, get easy - less to learn that way.

easier walking down hill then up hill.


thanks everyone.
God Bless you