Help with song lyrics translation

[jedi5384]

Hello everyone, and buenos días a todos.

I'm trying to translate the song "Hamlet" by the band Tierra Santa from Spanish to English and I am having trouble with a few lines. Here are the relevant parts and my attempts to translate:

Letra original:
Se finge loco y en su mente oculta
un odio eterno hacia su madre y su rey
Bajo la pena esconde la vergüenza
que el luto de su padre clama en él

My translation:
He feigns insanity and conceals in his mind
eternal hatred toward his mother and his king
beneath the sorrow hides shame
at mourning for his father crying out within him

Letra original:
Llegó el final, se acerca la venganza
su brazo en duelo por su padre hablará
la ira justa de un castigo errante
que abrió la herida que hoy se ha de cerrar

My translation:
The end is here, revenge draws near
his arm hurting for his father
righteous anger will speak of an errant punishment
that opened the wound that is to be closed today

I've italicized the specific lines I don't understand. I don't want to fill this post up with the whole song, and I'm not sure of the rules about links but if anyone wants to see the whole translation I'd be happy to post.

Thanks and muchas gracias!

[pjt33]

Translating poetry is always hard.

Bajo la pena esconde la vergüenza
que el luto de su padre clama en él

beneath the sorrow hides shame
at mourning for his father crying out within him

It's ambiguous as to whether Hamlet is hiding the shame or the shame is hiding itself. Either way, the most natural reading of the structure would be that the shame is the object of the crying out. I'm going to leave this for someone else.



Letra original:
Llegó el final, se acerca la venganza
su brazo en duelo por su padre hablará
la ira justa de un castigo errante
que abrió la herida que hoy se ha de cerrar

My translation:
The end is here, revenge draws near
his arm hurting for his father
righteous anger will speak of an errant punishment
that opened the wound that is to be closed today


En duelo isn't in pain but in a duel. I think it makes most sense to take the order around abrió as SVO, so

His duelling arm will speak on his father's behalf the righteous anger of a wandering punishment which opened the wound which must be closed today.

[jedi5384]

Translating poetry is always hard.

Yes, I've translated other songs into English before, and I try to keep the same verse structure when I can, but many times that just isn't possible.

It's ambiguous as to whether Hamlet is hiding the shame or the shame is hiding itself. Either way, the most natural reading of the structure would be that the shame is the object of the crying out. I'm going to leave this for someone else.

So how about:
Beneath the sorrow, hides the shameful cry of mourning for his father

En duelo isn't in pain but in a duel. I think it makes most sense to take the order around abrió as SVO, so

His duelling arm will speak on his father's behalf the righteous anger of a wandering punishment which opened the wound which must be closed today.

Thank you! That verse is much clearer to me now.