Help for a speech

[oddballodd]

Hi, I am best man at a wedding in Argentina. I have a speech to prepare and I wanted to include a little Spanish but I don't speak a word... :(. could someone help me ?

In my speech I am going to say in English 'I asked a friend to help me out with a joke to read out in Spanish'

Then proceed to read out a translation of:

"The man reading this was too lazy to come up with his own joke and asked me to do his it for him. He is a simple man, not much hair, doesn't speak Spanish and let's face it, ugly. Please feel sorry for him and laugh, otherwise this might never end."

I know it is a lot to ask, but would anyone be able to help ? I may need some help with pronunciation too...

Many thanks

Oddballodd

[aleCcowaN]

In Buenos Aires' Spanish (if the public is not from a large city in the Pampean region, let me know to adapt it) -as I suppose "he is a simple man" is the person reading, I added "If you take a good look at him" before and some tweaks in style to match the local language:

"Quien está leyendo esto es demasiado vago como para pensar sus propios chistes, así que me pidió que los hiciera por él. Si lo miran bien, es bastante simplón, medio peladito, no habla en criollo, y, para no darle más vueltas, tirando a feúcho. Apiádense de él y ríanse de esto, si no, no la terminamos más".

Below, the same spelled with extra stress marks and divided into syllables, including one hiatus, to aid pronunciation (small stressed vowel means secondary stress)

"Quién es-tá le-yén-do és-to és de-ma-siá-do vá-go có-mo pá-ra pen-sár sús pró-pios chís-tes, a-sí qué mé pi-dió qué lós hi-cié-ra pór él. Si ló mí-ran bién, és bas-tán-te sim-plón, mé-dio pe-la-dí-to, no há-bla en cri-ó-llo, í, pá-ra no dár-le más vuél-tas, ti-rán-do a fe-ú-cho. A-piá-den-sé de él í rí-an-sé de és-to, si nó, no la ter-mi-ná-mos más".

[oddballodd]

aleCcowaN, I cannot thank you enough, that is so kind of you. The wedding is in a place called Rosario, a few hours drive from Buenos Aires.

Oddballodd

[aleCcowaN]

aleCcowaN, I cannot thank you enough, that is so kind of you. The wedding is in a place called Rosario, a few hours drive from Buenos Aires.

Oddballodd

Then, it should be fine. Buenos Aires and Rosario are at the same distance and have roughly the same differences in population, language, climate and safety concerns as you may find in New York and Baltimore.

Don't forget to check the climate and weather information. In my experience, about a quarter of North Americans and Europeans come here with the clothes matching the climate expected in their hemisphere.

Enjoy your visit!