Would like to translate someones sentence please

[Dontknow145]

No te enamores de mi, Tengo problemas mentales. I got two different translations on google translate or Spanish translate.

The first was that: you do not win the love or faith of me 'tango' mental problems.

The second translation I got was: Do not fall in love with me, I have mental problems. Which seems to make more sense to me...

then someone answered to this, Jajajaja....which I believe means. Yes.

And then this male answered:

Ya sabes Mi pero (name of person) mas sincere no puedo ser. Pero pincho Viejas necias. Soy de todas y de nadie.

Which really made no sense in English at all when translated. Except, one translation sounded like:
I am sincere but, I puncture stupid old woman. I belong to no one but to all.

I am wondering if I am indeed getting the correct translation of this, or what it actually might mean. Is someone up for translating this for me please.

[wrholt]

Machine translators typically do a poor job with translating slang, and the second text uses a couple of words with slang meanings.

Sometimes slang meanings differ from place to place. Do you have a guess about where the male who wrote the second text is from?

[Dontknow145]

This male is from mexico city, but now lives in the yucatan. Playa

[Rusty]

No te enamores de mí. Tengo problemas mentales.Don't fall in love with me. I have mental problems.
Someone answered, Jajajaja, which I believe means Yes.Jajajaja = Hahahaha (laughter)

The sentences containing Mexican slang should be:
Ya sabes, mi (name of person), pero más sincero no puedo ser. Pero pincho viejas necias. Soy de todas y de nadie.

My best guess at what this response means without more context:
You know, my (name of person), I couldn't be more sincere. But, I provoke stubborn old women. I belong to all and to none. (It may also be that he blows it with the women.)

You must insert the accent marks (spell the words correctly) and add suitable punctuation in order to get a better translation. But, as wrholt said, machine translators will fail at translating slang.

[AngelicaDeAlquezar]

I agree that machine translators are useless for slang, but even worse for poorly written language.

I only have a little addition to Rusty's explanations:

Pero pinches viejas necias. Soy de todas y de nadie.

*"Pinche" is a bad word which, depending on intonation and context, can go from "d*mn" and "f*cking" in English.
"Vieja" is not a bad word, but it's a colloquial way to refer to a woman; again, depending on the context may be a pet word or a very pejorative expression (as it's this case).

The sentence would become something like "d*mn stubborn b*tches, I date them all". (He seems to blame the women who flirt with him for their own bad luck dating him.)

[Dontknow145]

Ya sabes mi (persons name) mas sinsero no puedo ser.. Pero pinches viejas necias.. Soy de todas y de nadie...

This is the exact translation from this person...but believe it is probably closest to the last translated interpretation. I appreciate the heads up. Something I don't want to touch. :s.

[AngelicaDeAlquezar]

Rusty's translation is correct. The use of "mi" + Proper Name, is a friendly way to address someone.

- Qué tal, mi Pedro, hace mucho que no nos vemos.
How are you, Pedro, my buddy, long time no see.