First story

caliber1

August 13, 2011 12:26 AM

First story

Nada Más
Con esta moneda
me voy a comprar
un ramo de cielo
y un metro de mar,
un pico de estrella
un sol de verdad,
un kilo de viento,
y nada mas

My translation. . .

Nothing Else
With this money
I'm going to buy
a bunch of sky,
and a meter of sea,
a point of a star
a sun of truth
a kilogram of breeze,
and nothing else

That's what I came up with. Not sure what it means though.

:thumbsdown: :thumbsup: :)

aleCcowaN

August 13, 2011 02:57 AM

"coin" instead of money
"real" instead of "of truth"
the rest is OK, but to keep the poetical sense, language level and avoid losing the meaning, I'd suggest:

With this coin
I'm gonna buy
A bouquet of sky
And three feet of sea,
One point of a star
A real-deal sun
Six ounces of breeze
And nothing besides

caliber1

August 13, 2011 10:36 AM

Que bueno. Thanks Alec.:thumbsup:

chileno

August 13, 2011 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aleCcowaN (Post 115573)

I would keep "a sun of truth" unless you want to mean "a sun of reality".

aleCcowaN

August 13, 2011 06:49 PM

How "un sol de verdad" could be "a sun of truth" at any rate?

"De verdad/de veras" are adjectival phrases that mean "real" and I chose "real-deal" in the meaning of "authentic, genuine" with a twist of "be impressed".

Other interpretations of "un sol de verdad" (similar to "a beacon of truth") doesn't match the poem's set: the kid is buying with a coin a lot of concrete items that exist in fantasy as such or as depictions of real items; the kid is not buying abstract notions.

caliber1

August 13, 2011 10:16 PM

All I know is I can't (but I'm gonna have to) wait 'til I can think about the possible meanings of something. Thanks for the MULTIPLE possibilities ;)

chileno

August 13, 2011 11:06 PM

Correct. :)

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