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-   -   ¿Que piensan de esta frase? (https://forums.tomisimo.org/showthread.php?t=12400)

¿Que piensan de esta frase?


Jonathan D. January 21, 2012 09:54 AM

¿Que piensan de esta frase?
 
¡Hola a todos! esta es la frase...



Mis dos hermanos luchaban libre en la salón cuando los dos idiotas cayeron en la árbol de navidad, fue Nochebuena.


¿Correcta?--> Eventos como esos que mi casa en Toledo es siempre interesante.



Es posible que mi padre muriera mis hermanos después yo salí Toledo.


muchísimas gracias,


~ Jonathan

Rusty January 21, 2012 10:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jonathan D. (Post 121004)
Mis dos hermanos luchaban libre(watch agreement) en la salón cuando los dos idiotas cayeron en la árbol de navidad. Fue Nochebuena.

Eventos como esos que (wrong word) mi casa en Toledo es (watch agreement) siempre interesante(watch agreement).

Es posible que mi padre muriera (wrong verb, wrong tense, but it is in the correct mood :) - look up 'kill') (missing a personal 'a' here) mis hermanos después (missing the other half of the expression and the conjunction that introduces the next clause) (yo) salí (wrong tense, and you're missing the preposition that follows) Toledo.

Muchísimas gracias.

Hints given where changes are needed.

Jonathan D. January 21, 2012 12:16 PM

Wow, esta frase necesitaba un poca ayuda.

El cuento es triste pero cierto...

¡Gracias Rusty!

Rusty January 21, 2012 12:27 PM

No hay de qué.

By the way, I just noticed that you might have meant to say something a little different when you wrote your last sentence. Perhaps you meant 'after I left' instead of 'after I leave'. In either event, the subjunctive is needed in the clause that follows 'after'. And, if you did mean 'after I left', then the verb 'kill' must also be conjugated for the past tense (but still in the subjunctive mood).

Are you planning on posting a corrected version so we can have a look at your improvements?

Jonathan D. January 21, 2012 02:15 PM

Now that you mention it, this is what I came up with as far as corrections:

Mis dos hermanos luchaban libre en el salón cuando los dos idiotas cayeron en el árbol de navidad. Fue Nochebuena. Eventos como esos es la razón mi casa en Toledo es siempre interesante. Es posible que mi padre matara a mis hermanos después hube salido Toledo.


~ Jonathan

Rusty January 21, 2012 02:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jonathan D. (Post 121012)
Mis dos hermanos luchaban libre en el salón cuando los dos idiotas cayeron en el árbol de navidad. Fue Nochebuena.
Eventos (perhaps a better word is needed here) como esos es/son (some prefer the plural form, while others argue that the singular is warranted) la razón (missing something here) mi casa en Toledo es siempre interesante (rather than say that your house is interesting, it would probably be more correct to say that your household life or experience is interesting).
Es posible que mi padre matara a mis hermanos después (still missing half of the expression ('después' doesn't mean 'after') and the conjunction) hube salido (subjunctive mood needed - still missing the prepostion after the verb) Toledo.

Some good corrections! :thumbsup:

I need the English version of that last sentence, please. I don't know what you're trying to say.

AngelicaDeAlquezar January 21, 2012 07:07 PM

Just one more thing: "luchar libre" doesn't make much sense.
"Lucha libre", as the sport, does though.
So "mis hermanos hacían/practicaban lucha libre..." (or in a Mexican colloquial expression: "Mis hermanos jugaban a las luchas...") :)

Jonathan D. January 22, 2012 08:30 AM

Muchas gracias por la ayuda,


I made some more corrections based on your advice, I hope I am getting closer...



Mis dos hermanos practicaban lucha libre en el salón cuando los dos idiotas cayeron en el árbol de navidad. Fue Nochebuena. Mis experiencias en Toledo son siempre interesante, especialmente cuando se pone mis hermanos y mi podre en la misma salón; es posible que mi padre matara a mis hermanos después de salí Toledo.

the last sentence is supposed to sound something like, "It is possible that my father killed my brothers after I left Toledo". I have already left Toledo and speculating on the condition of my brothers.


Thanks a ton amigos!

Rusty January 22, 2012 09:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jonathan D. (Post 121050)
Mis dos hermanos practicaban lucha libre en el salón cuando los dos idiotas cayeron en el árbol de navidad. Fue Nochebuena. Mis experiencias en Toledo son siempre interesante (agreement), especialmente cuando se pone mis hermanos y mi podre en la misma salón. Es posible que mi padre matara a mis hermanos después de (missing the conjunction that introduces the following clause) salí (needs to be in the imperfect subjunctive - needs to be followed by a preposition) Toledo.

More hints given.
I wouldn't have formed the last sentence the way you wrote it to begin with, so perhaps it still isn't right in Spanish. You're speculating on something that happened in the past, as opposed to a future event. Future speculation takes the subjunctive, but I'm not so sure it'll work backwards the same way. I did find an instance in a novel where that kind of structure was used, however, so perhaps it's correct the way I'm steering you. A native speaker may want to opine.

Jonathan D. January 22, 2012 10:59 AM

Here is just the problem sentence. I see what you mean, the sentence structure is a bit complicated and I may just remove it and put something else in it's place. But here goes,

Es posible que mi padre matara a mis hermanos después de que saliera de Toledo.


: )

Rusty January 22, 2012 03:04 PM

Yes, that's the way I was thinking it might go, but I would say something different, like "Puede que mi padre los hubiera matado (a mis hermanos) después de irme de Toledo."

Jonathan D. January 22, 2012 03:09 PM

Rusty, thank you very much for all of your help!

At this point, I will go ahead and use what I have as I think it will be good enough for my first year Spanish class.

Thanks again!

~ Jonathan D.

Rusty January 22, 2012 03:52 PM

¡No hay de qué!

Wow! A first-year Spanish class that teaches the subjunctive mood. Wonderful!

Jonathan D. January 22, 2012 05:04 PM

Oh yeah Profesora B. is killing us... ultimately though, she is a very good instructor.

AngelicaDeAlquezar January 22, 2012 07:02 PM

For mere reasons of style I'd prefer "es posible que mi padre haya matado a mis hermanos después de que salí/me fui de Toledo".
"Matara" is not wrong, but to me, it leaves the possibility shorter than it "should" be after the incident. ;)
"Después de que saliera de Toledo" would be ambiguous, as it may mean "after my father left Toledo", so a pronoun is needed there: "después de que yo saliera de Toledo". Still, the sentence may sound too long, so "salí" may make it flow more easily. :)


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