Se te pasa el arroz

Se te pasa el arroz
 

Hi,

Yes, I know, that literally it means "your rice is overcooking", figuratively "you are getting too old [to have kids]".

I'm just having trouble internalizing the approach.

Also

Se la pasa dandome órdenes.
She's ordering me about.

Se te nota un poco nervioso.
You look a bit nervous; it's obvious you are a bit nervous.

What is it? How am I supposed to master this way of saying things?

Those are two different constructions (and I'm not sure about the la in the first one).

I think that the first is an example of pasarse (reflexive): to go too far (I think #60 in DRAE: pasar). There are probably a few other valid interpretations, though, and context might disambiguate.

The second is "impersonal se": se nota is effectively noto but de-emphasising the speaker.

Se la pasa I remember from SpanishDict. There was even a bit of context there :):

¡Dana es una mandona! Se la pasa dándome órdenes.

There is a discussion, too. Unfortunately, it petered out inconclusively.

It's not the construction, but the verb "pasar" which must be mastered. ;)

"Pasársela (haciendo algo)" ("pasárselo" in Spain and probably other regions that aren't Mexico) means to spend one's time doing something.*
· Se la pasa dándome órdenes.
-> She keeps giving orders to me all day long.
· Durante el confinamiento me la pasé viendo televisión.
-> During lockdown I spent all the time watching TV.
· Cuando íbamos a casa del abuelo, nos la pasábamos jugando en el jardín.
-> When we visited grandpa, we did nothing but play in the garden.

"Pasar(se)", in the other example, means that something is more than sufficiently advanced or ready.
· Se te pasa el arroz. -> This is an idiom meaning that a woman is getting too old to get married and/or have children.
-> Literally, it means that the rice is getting overcooked.
· Se pasó el jugo. No te lo tomes.
-> The juice expired. Don't drink it.
· Esa sopa está pasada. Te vas a enfermar si te la comes.
-> That soup has gone bad. You'll get food poisoning if you eat it.
· Estos plátanos todavía no sirven para el pan. Necesito que se pasen un poco.
-> These bananas can't be used for the bread yet. I need them to be overripe.


"Se te nota" is a completely different construction and has nothing to do with the previous examples, as this is an impersonal sentence: there is no subject who sees the other person is nervous.

Take a look at this conversation. You may find it useful to see different uses of "se". :)




*The "la" or "lo" work as a direct object pronoun, although what they replace is unspecified. Many verbs take this kind of construction.