A writing a day

[OggO1984]

Hello people!

My name is Manuel, I am spanish and I have an important exam on 23th January and I should write a lot!

I'm going to write a 180 words Story. It must begin with the following sentence:

"The island seemed to be empty..."

ANSWER:

The island seemed to be empty and we guessed the plane had crashed in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, we were there, with no food or water nor new clothes and the most important; nobody knows we had crashed.

We were only three survivors left, so we decided to gather some food from the trees (coconuts, bananas and cherry). We took the water from the inside of the coconuts and very soon we realized that we must eat some protein. There were some rabbits running along the island, but we had no idea how to hunt them, if we had known how to use a bow we could have crafted it but we did not, consequently, we began to fish. We spend most time looking for supplies, moreover we built a pile of wood just in case a ship could sail near the shore, then we would fire it and could be seen. Finally were rescued by a rescue team from North America, they had been looking for us for two months.

THANKS IN ADVANCE!

[wrholt]

My comments are from the perspective of customary usage in the US.

Originally Posted by OggO1984

Hello people!

My name is Manuel, I am spanish and I have an important exam on 23th January and I should write a lot!

I'm going to write a 180 words Story. It must begin with the following sentence:

"The island seemed to be empty..."

ANSWER:

The island seemed to be empty and we guessed the plane had crashed in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, (Run on sentence? Use either "." or ":" to join two sentences) we were there, with no food or water nor new clothes *** (missing punctuation) and the most important (either "most important" or "the most important thing"); nobody knows (wrong tense) we had crashed.

We were *** (missing article) only three survivors left, so we decided to gather some food from the trees (coconuts, bananas and cherry (why two names of fruits (plural), then one name of a tree (singular)? Make them all the same)). We took the water from the (this article is optional: I think it sound better to omit it) inside of the coconuts and very soon we realized that we must eat some protein. There were some rabbits running along (a different preposition is better) the island, but we had no idea how to hunt them, (Run on sentence? Use "." or ":") if we had known how to use a bow we could have crafted (this is okay, but "made" is more common) it (wrong pronoun in this context) *** (missing punctuation: you are starting a new thought, and it should be marked as a new clause or sentence) but we did not, consequently, (I would prefer to see either "." or ":" here) we began to fish. We spend (wrong tense) most time looking for supplies, moreover we built a pile of wood just in case a ship could (wrong modal verb) sail near the shore, then we would fire (wrong verb: "to fire" does NOT mean "to ignite" or "to burn") it and could be seen. Finally were rescued by a rescue team from North America, (Run on sentence? Use either "." or ":") they had been looking for us for two months.

THANKS IN ADVANCE!