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  #1
Old September 26, 2010, 10:16 AM
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ookami ookami is offline
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Tus poemas / Your poems

Well, in this post you can show us your poems. And if you don't have any, you can start writing them here
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'Time is a sort of river of passing events, and strong is its current; no sooner is a thing brought to sight than it is swept by and another takes its place, and this too will be swept away.' M.A.
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  #2
Old September 26, 2010, 12:56 PM
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Where are yours?

Let me start, then.


Silencios

Silencios saldrán de mi boca,
silencios
y no palabras.

Ni un beso robado a la noche
en los soportales
sabrá de mi nombre.

Las manos vacías,
silencio en la noche.
Tristeza. Despierto.
No estoy en tus sueños.

Callada está el alba,
deshace la noche
con luces amargas

Las lenguas atadas
esquivan miradas.
Silencio, repito,
y no te recuerdo.
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  #3
Old September 26, 2010, 01:09 PM
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¡Muy lindo irmamar!
Si tienes más es tu deber moral el ponerlos acá

En busca de las llaves del frío

Camina por las calles,
El invierno se ha ido
Pero se olvidó las llaves
Que encierran al frío.

No el frío del clima
Que un simple viento aleja
Sino el del hastío
Que escarba en la herida abierta.


Piensa mientras camina
Que el sol se equivocó,
La ciudad es gran amiga
De la lluvia, y la melancolía.


Como un piano las gotas
Erigen entre las manzanas
Al encierro, el mal y las penas
Que se abren al mojarse las férulas.


El cielo es cubierto por nubes
Innecesarias ya que el paraguas
Se encarga de proteger a los hombres
De que intenten elevarse sus almas.


Inútil es evadir a los vidrios,
Espejos, ojos y charcos,
Que deciden en estos días
Revelarnos los reflejos
Indescifrables de la vida.


Camina por las calles,
El invierno se ha ido
Pero quitar no logra los males
Del corazón muerto de frío.
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Please, don't hesitate to correct my English.
'Time is a sort of river of passing events, and strong is its current; no sooner is a thing brought to sight than it is swept by and another takes its place, and this too will be swept away.' M.A.
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  #4
Old September 26, 2010, 01:17 PM
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¡Muy bien, Ookami!

No puedo publicarlos aquí. Los "buenos" (entre comillas y varios "ejem") quiero presentarlos a algún premio algún día.
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  #5
Old September 26, 2010, 05:20 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ookami View Post
Well, in this post you can show us your poems. And if you don't have any, you can start writing them here
Quote:
Originally Posted by irmamar View Post
¡Muy bien, Ookami!

No puedo publicarlos aquí. Los "buenos" (entre comillas y varios "ejem") quiero presentarlos a algún premio algún día.
@ookami and irmamar,

I tried to translate both your poems in English using my limited knowledge of Spanish and I'm sure it's not accurate. It would be nice if the poems are translated in English also. Can I write an English Poem here too?

I enjoyed reading the poems. Thanks for sharing your thoughts through poetry.
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  #6
Old September 26, 2010, 05:47 PM
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Yes, sure, please show us your poems!
Later I'll translate my, if I'm able to do so.
__________________
Please, don't hesitate to correct my English.
'Time is a sort of river of passing events, and strong is its current; no sooner is a thing brought to sight than it is swept by and another takes its place, and this too will be swept away.' M.A.
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  #7
Old September 26, 2010, 06:25 PM
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Nice thread! And good job!
I forgot who wrote, "Los árboles son poemas que la tierra escribe en el cielo" (probably K. Gibran?)
but you guys reminded me (not sure exactly why) the "Greguerías" by Ramón Gómez de la Serna:
"La guitarra es un pozo con música en vez de agua"

I always loved poetry... and I will love it.

I have quite some papers "to be filed" and so I may find some old-old sonets... I have a "series" on "Se equivocaba el poeta" which are a "calque" of the known poem/song, "Se equivocó la paloma, se equivocaba, por ir al norte fue al sur... se equivocaba"...

It is always fun to communicate...

Improvisemos algo aquí, así, a botepronto: (Muy libre, y muy blanco, muy gris... muy azul y muy verde...)

Escribir un poema
es dejar fluir la pluma,
es reír con risa sana,
no es inventar un teorema,
no es sólo una ola y su espuma,
no es mirar por la ventana,
es bordar con tus palabras
filigranas de platero,
esculpir con tu gramática
pensamientos en la bruma...
Es despertar de tu sueño
al contemplar tu presente...,
es vislumbrar tu futuro,
al soñar una ilusión, una quimera,
un cuento... una ficción...

Es romper todas las reglas y seguirlas muy sumiso,
es saber que nada sabes, y que sabes tu destino.

Es "ser"... que no, "no ser" y regocijarte en tu dicha.
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  #8
Old September 27, 2010, 12:46 AM
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¡Caramba, Pablo improvisando y todo! Good!

Vita, write your poems, please.

Ookami, good idea that of translating into English. I've tried to do it with mine (algún alma caritativa me la corregirá, I guess ).

Silences will come out from my mouth,
Silences
And no words.

Not even a kiss stolen to the night
Down the arcade
Will know about my name. (I'm not sure about this construction in English )

Empty hands,
Silence in the night.
Sadness. I wake up.
I am not in your dreams.

Silent dawn
Dissolves the night
With bitter lights.

Tied tongues
Dodge gazes.
Silence, I repeat,
And I do not remember you (I think I like best: You're not in my memory -in English)


Last edited by irmamar; September 27, 2010 at 12:50 AM.
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  #9
Old September 27, 2010, 05:49 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by irmamar View Post
Vita, write your poems, please.
To A Dear Friend:

The yellow rosebud
basking in the sunlight
takes no heed of the coming storm;
for stormy nights passes on.
Look forward to the coming dawn
When birds will sing away the gloom.

The bright sunshine will soon be here.
Dear friends will meet far and near;
to celebrate another day
that God has made for us today.
Why ponder the hours in dismay
When eternity starts today?
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Last edited by Rusty; October 02, 2010 at 07:55 AM. Reason: grammar and spelling error (condensed quote)
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  #10
Old September 27, 2010, 06:03 AM
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Muy bien, vita.

But... translation into Spanish?
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  #11
Old September 27, 2010, 06:30 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by irmamar View Post
Muy bien, vita.

But... translation into Spanish?
Trabajaré tradución la proxima vez. Lo siento porque estoy muy lento. Usaré un lapiz y papel antes escrito en el computador.

me gusta tu poema y la frase ultima la misma tu escribé de está ( I like your poem and the last paragraph just the way you wrote it).

Gracias
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  #12
Old September 27, 2010, 06:39 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vita32 View Post
Trabajaré tradución la proxima vez. Lo siento porque estoy voy muy lento. Usaré un lápiz y papel antes de escribirla en el computador.

me gusta tu poema y la frase última frase (¿estrofa? ) la misma tu escribé de está ( I like your poem and the last paragraph just the way you wrote it) tal como la escribiste.

Gracias
I'm not in a hurry... but I'm waiting (it's a joke).
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  #13
Old September 27, 2010, 06:58 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by irmamar View Post
I'm not in a hurry... but I'm waiting (it's a joke).
Gracias por tu correciones. Lo siento que hago te rascas la cabeza con mi español(the last sentence is a joke too) (I'm sorry that I make you scratch your head with my spanish)

Quote:
Originally Posted by irmamar View Post
Muy bien, vita.

But... translation into Spanish?
The poem rhymes well in English but not when translated to Spanish so I rewrote the first stanza to have a better rhyme in Spanish.

Yellow rosebud
bathe in sunlight
innocent of all dangers;
stormy nights passes on.
Look forward to the coming dawn
when birds will sing to you.

Capullo de rosa amarilla
se bañan en la luz del sol
innocente de los todos peligros;
Noches de tormentos pasa
Esperamos la llegada del alba,
cuando las aves te cantará

(to be continued)

Soy cansado por ahora.
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Last edited by AngelicaDeAlquezar; September 27, 2010 at 07:43 PM. Reason: Merged back-to-back posts
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  #14
Old September 29, 2010, 11:02 PM
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-Wow JPablo, ¡en tus genes hay poesía! ¡Otra! ¡Otra!

-vita, I made some corrections to your translation. You can make some quick changes still, in order to make it sound more natural in Spanish, but it's well enough this way.
I like very much you poem!

Yellow rosebud
bathe in sunlight
innocent of all dangers;
stormy nights passes on.
Look forward to the coming dawn
when birds will sing to you.

Capullo de rosa amarilla
bañado en la luz del sol
inocente de todo [los] peligro[s];
Noches de tormentos pasan
Esperamos la llegada del alba
donde las aves te cantarán.

And you have to say "Estoy cansado", because you are talking about a transitory state of yourself; you use "Soy" when you want to talk about a permanent state.

Well, another """poem""" of mine...


Pedido a la reina del frío


Se va el invierno y siento frío:
Otra vez ha venido a golpear mi puerta
Mas esta vez no abriré, que espere afuera
La que al frío hace temblar, ¡nuestra reina!

Yo la evito pero siempre me encuentra:

Harto estoy de mudarme, de cambiar
.................................................. ..................de aire
Creyendo que por fin de mí se olvidará,
Viviendo en silencio y a la suerte rezándole.

Pero cada vez la llamada es más fuerte:

Y consigue entrar como marejada el frío
Por debajo de la puerta hasta dejar inerte
.................................................. ...............mi mente
Que vuelve a quitar la traba, brindando asilo.

Se va el invierno y siento frío:

Otra vez ha venido a golpear mi puerta,
Y al despojarme de mi ficticia compañía
Hice entrar a la gran reina Melancolía.

Mas cada vez la llamada es más fuerte:

Sea buena, reina amiga mía
Y destruya esta gran herida
Que su pena impulsa sin medida.
__________________
Please, don't hesitate to correct my English.
'Time is a sort of river of passing events, and strong is its current; no sooner is a thing brought to sight than it is swept by and another takes its place, and this too will be swept away.' M.A.

Last edited by ookami; September 29, 2010 at 11:08 PM.
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  #15
Old September 30, 2010, 01:09 AM
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Bueno, Ookami, si en mis genes hay poesía, tú la irradias por los poros...

Y aunque ahora el tiempo me agobia... y no sé si tiempo habré
de decir unas palabras, un poema, una simple poesía,
sea prosa o sea un soneto sin ritmo, sin cadencias y sin rimas,
octosílabos desmembrados... endecasílabos cojos... y alejandrinos perdidos...

Sea cual sea la forma... ¡amar! es lo que gritar quiero...
¡Querer! es lo que un ser necesita...
¡Volver! es lo que siempre quería...

Y decir lo que el alma obligue... y decirlo a los mil vientos...
Otra, otra, y seguir viviendo... otra, otra, y seguir diciendo,
otra, otra y revivir un portento...

El viento sopla 'pa dentro'... el público pide más... mas estoy ya fatigado... la noche ya se ha cerrado... el sol ya se ocultó detrás de la vasta sierra... hay luna, no sólo estrellas...

En la cocina, bullendo, me espera una sopa de ajo...

¡Me voy, que se está quemando!

(Vaya "improvisadas" que me haces hacer...)

(Me recuerda a la "payada" de Les Luthiers... pero sin rima...)
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"An enemy is somebody who flatters you. A friend is somebody who criticizes the living daylights out of you."

Last edited by JPablo; September 30, 2010 at 03:19 AM. Reason: fixed "detrás la vasta sierra" to "detrás de la vasta sierra"
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  #16
Old September 30, 2010, 08:23 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ookami View Post
-vita, I made some corrections to your translation. You can make some quick changes still, in order to make it sound more natural in Spanish, but it's well enough this way.
I like very much you poem!

Yellow rosebud
bathe in sunlight
innocent of all dangers;
stormy nights passes on.
Look forward to the coming dawn
when birds will sing to you.

Capullo de rosa amarilla
bañado en la luz del sol
inocente de todo [los] peligro[s];
Noches de tormentos pasan
Esperamos la llegada del alba
donde las aves te cantarán.

And you have to say "Estoy cansado", because you are talking about a transitory state of yourself; you use "Soy" when you want to talk about a permanent state.
Gracias por los correciones. I know the difference between "soy" and "estoy" and yet forget to apply what I know in Spnish phrases. And yes "Cantarán" is plural, so is more appropriate to use.


I have to study your poem more.
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Last edited by Rusty; October 02, 2010 at 07:58 AM. Reason: condensed quote
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  #17
Old September 30, 2010, 12:56 PM
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You're welcome vita,

Wow JPablo, "hay luna, no solo estrellas", ¡vos sí que sabés improvisar! Eso si, recitá los versos a distancia, digo, por la sopa de ajo
Casi nunca escribo, ni poesía ni prosa, prefiero hacerlo en la memoría y dejarlo todo para el olvido. Pero voy a seguir el pie que estás dando y a improvisar se ha dicho. ¡Ahora sí sufrirán! jaja

Hoy hace un lindo día y entra un solcito por el balcón...

En los fulgores de mi cuarto
Algo se mueve, inesperado
Es medio rojo, casi dorado
Casi tan bello como tus rizos
Y risas de antaño.

Moja mi cara, endulza mis labios
Evoca el recuerdo que la pena
Grava con fuego en los entrecejos.

Los rayos dorados juegan esta tarde
Con el verano de hace diez años
Y como si el tiempo no hubiera pasado
Veo al viento usar como juguete
Tu cabellera, mientras cebas mate.
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Please, don't hesitate to correct my English.
'Time is a sort of river of passing events, and strong is its current; no sooner is a thing brought to sight than it is swept by and another takes its place, and this too will be swept away.' M.A.

Last edited by ookami; October 01, 2010 at 01:16 PM.
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  #18
Old October 01, 2010, 01:53 AM
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Vita, I'd say "noche de tormenta/noche tormentosa", since "tormento" means "torture".

Ookami, "Graba".
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  #19
Old October 01, 2010, 02:06 AM
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Mmm... pensaba que usaba "grava" (impone una carga...) en un sentido un tanto figurativo... Entendiendo la pena como una "carga"... o el recuerdo... pero ya veo... Bueno, Ookami nos dirá.
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  #20
Old October 01, 2010, 02:26 AM
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También lo he pensado, pero gravar con fuego no acaba de cuajar.
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